


Something Like a Hero

by blanchepottermalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Harry Potter, Drug Addiction, Gay Sex, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Romance, Shameless Smut, Top Severus Snape, the opposite of slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 52,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blanchepottermalfoy/pseuds/blanchepottermalfoy
Summary: The news of a student being head over heels for Severus Snape starts a chain reaction of conflicting emotions in Harry Potter's heart that leads them to a path of sex, guilt, secrets and perhaps love.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Ron Weasley, Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 35
Kudos: 185





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this fic a long time ago. Like, a long long loooong time ago. I realise that this is an unusual pair, and I actually wrote this one before I knew how Severus' life ended... Consider it completely and utterly AU. CANON DIVERGENCE AF. Yes, I realise some may cringe over this pairing. No, Harry is NOT underage. He is an adult and everything they do is totally consensual. Yes, Severus is much older. Hey, it happens. People fall in love. 
> 
> If it's not your cup of tea, don't read it. Any comments about "ewwww disgusting" will just go straight to the bin. You've been warned. =D

“Have you heard?” said Neville from the Staff Room. 

“About what?” said another voice. 

“Someone’s in love with Snape!” exclaimed Neville as if it was the most shocking news of all time.

Harry, who was just passing by at the time, stopped immediately in his tracks as if he’d been petrified. If he were a cartoon, his heart would have jumped out of his chest and bounced on the walls of the castle so fast was it beating. Surely he had better things to do than worry about who was stupid enough to fall in love with someone like Snape. 

Against his better judgement, he practically glued his ear to the door and listened. 

“Who is it?” asked the other person eagerly. 

There was a pause, and then Neville said, “Lydia Abbot from Ravenclaw.”

“A student?” said the voice of a stunned man. 

Another pause, and then everyone in the room roared with laughter. Harry chuckled thinking that indeed it was quite funny. In fact, it was the joke of the century. No one in his right mind would ever fall in love with Snape. 

After four years of being a teacher at Hogwarts, Harry still hadn’t seen Snape on a good day. The Potions Master was always moody and glaring at Harry with loathing. Snape’s horrible personality hadn’t improved one bit as the years went by. He was still bitter and impossible to live with. 

Harry had to admit that Snape was quite intriguing, though. Every time Harry thought he had figured him out, he found he hadn’t at all. Snape wasn’t the typical villain. He fit the category very well, but there was more to him than met the eye. And then there was his sudden change of looks. Snape had cut his greasy hair and the result turned out to be quite attractive. Not that Harry had noticed that much, but the new haircut must be the reason why the sweet Lydia Abbot had suddenly fallen in love with the bastard. 

While Harry walked to his room, he felt very aware of his heartbeat and didn’t know why. 

Lydia Abbot was in love with Severus Snape. So what? 

It was funny. That was it. Then why wasn’t Harry laughing anymore? 

Teenagers were stupid, Harry thought to himself. There was no way someone sane would like Snape. 

However, Snape did look a lot more distracted and distant these days. He always seemed to be drifting away, except, of course, when his eyes came across Harry’s. In the past, Snape had usually given Harry his coldest look. But ever since Harry had started to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts, Snape’s glares had changed. Instead of freezing Harry, Snape’s new glare set him on fire. Harry didn’t understand why his body reacted like that. He couldn’t understand why every time their eyes met he shivered, and a weird feeling ran through his whole being. 

Harry worried about that, but in four years he had learned to deal with it quite well. He ignored Snape just like the ex-greasy bastard ignored him. 

But ignoring Snape was becoming very difficult, especially after the haircut and his new looks. 

Harry kept walking absently through the corridors of the castle.

What was it about Snape that intrigued him so much? Just his new looks? That wasn’t enough. Harry wasn’t a shallow person that only cared about appearances. If that wasn’t the case, then what was it? Why did the fact that Lydia Abbot liked Snape bother him?

Harry shook his head, trying to get rid of those silly thoughts. He shouldn’t be wasting his time thinking about Snape. He had more important things to think about, like DADA lessons. 

A hoarse voice broke the silence, and Harry realised, dumbfounded, that he was in front of Snape’s office. 

_‘How did this happen?’ _he thought. _‘How did I get here?’ _____

____“It’s ok, Miss Abbot. Please, don’t cry,” said Snape._ _ _ _

____Harry opened his eyes wide, his heart beating fast. He carefully approached the half-opened door and peered through its keyhole. The scene inside shocked him. Snape had his hand on Lydia Abbot’s shoulder, and he was handing her a tissue. Harry didn’t know if what startled him the most was the fact that Snape had his hands on a student, or if it was the fact that he was being nice._ _ _ _

____“I’m so sorry,” whined Lydia, wiping her tears with the tissue. “I didn’t mean to...”_ _ _ _

____“It wasn’t your fault,” Snape said, unusually gentle. “I’m the one to blame for it. If I hadn’t...”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, no! Please, don’t.” Lydia stood up and faced him with her big brown eyes. Snape didn’t move as she got closer. “It was my fault.”_ _ _ _

____“I shouldn’t have... I mean, you’re a student. I’m supposed to be responsible for your welfare.”_ _ _ _

____“But if I hadn’t...”_ _ _ _

____“As I said, it wasn’t your fault,” Snape assured her._ _ _ _

____Lydia smiled. “Thank you, Professor.”_ _ _ _

____Snape looked slightly irritated with himself. “It was nothing. We’ll talk tomorrow. You should be in bed.”_ _ _ _

____Lydia nodded, but Harry could see that she didn’t want to leave. In a daring move, she kissed Snape on the cheek. Snape had the decency to blush._ _ _ _

_____‘How dare he?’ _Harry thought, enraged.__ _ _ _ _

______“Miss Abbot...” Snape said reprovingly, but to Harry, his tone of voice sounded indecent._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know, I know,” she said, beaming. Then she walked to the door and opened it, finding a pale Harry in front of her. “Oh, hello, Professor Potter!” she greeted him as if nothing had happened. She passed by him and left the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry looked at Snape, who seemed quite disturbed to see the Golden Boy standing at his doorway, catching him in the act. Harry fumed. How dare he? She was a student!_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mr Potter,” Snape said with disgust. “May I ask what you are doing in my office, eavesdropping?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I could ask the same thing about Miss Abbot,” Harry replied coldly. “What was she doing here?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Snape looked taken aback for a moment, but then he quickly composed himself. “I don’t think this concerns you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry sniggered. “Well, I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with that. It isn’t decent to have a student here at this time of the night.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s only seven-thirty!” Snape protested._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry frowned and crossed his arms. “So?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So?” Snape smirked. “I believe that when you were a student, you stayed in this office with me - alone, may I add - until midnight many times. Was there a problem at the time? Did I do anything improper to you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry flushed slightly. To put him under such stress was indeed very improper. Just being in the same room with Snape was improper and very wrong, especially when Harry was starting to have inappropriate thoughts himself._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s not the point!” Harry said, irritated. “I wasn’t in love with you! Clearly, you were taking advantage of the fact that Miss Abbot likes you to seduce her!” Harry accused. “That’s not proper behaviour to expect from a Professor, is it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Snape raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? Are you on something, Potter?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Of course not!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Snape shot him a look that made Harry burn. “Then do kindly leave my office. This conversation is over.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Snape turned his back at Harry, who felt the anger rising dangerously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Aren’t you ashamed? She’s only sixteen!” Harry said accusingly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry saw Snape tense and turn to face him again. Snape looked furious, but Harry didn’t look away._ _ _ _ _ _

______They glared at each other, and Snape said between his teeth, “You’ve gotten me very angry once, Potter. You don’t want to go down that same road again, do you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry knew that Snape was referring to an unpleasant episode, seven years ago, when Harry had seen Snape’s worst memory through a Pensieve. But Harry wasn’t afraid of Snape. He’d never been afraid of him. The fact that Snape was so furious with him was very... arousing._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry clutched his fists. He wasn’t scared of the man standing in front of him with a murderous look. What was terrifying Harry the most were his feelings for that man. For four years Harry had ignored them. Four years of repression... four years of struggle against the awful truth in his heart that he... He and Lydia Abbot were just the same._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry watched Snape’s lips moving, but he didn’t hear what he was saying. It was like he was in a trance; like there was nothing more important than to admire those lips that seemed suddenly aching to be kissed. Harry had never noticed just how beautiful Severus Snape was without that awful long and greasy hair of his. Snape looked pretty mad at Harry, but the young man didn’t care. Harry only had eyes for those hypnotic lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“...I won’t allow this kind of stupid behaviour coming from you! Just because you’re a Professor now, a title that you don’t deserve at all, as a matter of fact, it doesn’t mean you have the right to...” Snape kept shouting, but Harry’s mind was miles away. “...you’re out of line, Potter, and I won’t tolerate this, I don’t care if you’re Dumbledore’s protégé or not! I will not...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry was lost in a daze as he stared at Snape. He didn’t know what impelled him to move forward, but he just felt like he had to close the distance between their bodies. His feet seemed to be moving on their own, and his brain seemed disconnected from the rest of his body. He noticed the shock in Snape’s face as Harry drew closer, and the way his lips moved in a whispered question: ‘What do you think you’re doing, Potter?’_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry wished he knew, but he wasn’t in charge of himself anymore. Before Snape could react properly, Harry locked their lips together. The world stopped. The room and everything around them seemed to disappear. He saw that Snape hadn’t closed his eyes (in fact, they looked quite open), but then again neither had he. It was an odd kiss, to say the least. They just stood there, eyes wide open, unmoving, paralysed, and completely in shock._ _ _ _ _ _

______Finally, Harry enlaced Snape’s neck and closed his eyes. He felt Snape touching his waist softly, and he took advantage of that to deepen their kiss. Snape’s lack of response to his kiss didn’t discourage Harry, who put his tongue in Snape’s mouth. Snape winced at the sudden invasion, and when their tongues met, Harry was the one who trembled. He sighed softly when Snape finally surrendered to the kiss._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry had never felt anything like this before. His heart was pounding against his chest, and he felt dizzy. He had never imagined that kissing Severus Snape would be so breathtaking. Harry had kissed before, and even though every kiss after Cho’s had been better, nothing could compare to this kiss._ _ _ _ _ _

______Their lips seemed to be made for kissing each other._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry buried his fingers in Snape’s hair and was surprised at how soft it was under his touch. Unfortunately, that was too much for Snape, who pushed Harry away the moment he had felt Harry’s hand stroking his hair. They stared at each other, trying to figure out how and why the kiss had started in the first place._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry took a while to come back to earth, but when he did, he was terrified of his behaviour. Snape, he noticed, was looking at him with shock. If Harry wasn’t so shocked himself, he’d have laughed at Snape’s expression._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What–” Snape began after regaining his breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t know,” Harry cut across him, embarrassed. “I... Oh, my God. Just... Forget it. I wasn’t thinking... I...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry walked towards the door as fast as he could, thinking, horrified, that someone might have seen the scene displayed inside the room. He felt the panic rising, and he wanted nothing more than to smack his head on the nearest wall, or just disappear from the face of the earth._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wait!” he heard Snape shouting. “You stupid brat! Come back here!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______But Harry didn’t stop. He kept going as if his life depended on it. He would never have the courage to face Snape again. Not after that. This time it was ten times worse than when Harry had seen Snape being humiliated by Sirius and his father. Now the humiliation was on him. He had kissed Snape, not the other way around. He had acted like a lunatic._ _ _ _ _ _

______What would he do? How would he face himself in front of a mirror?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry ran to his room, locked the door and fell on the bed. He buried his face under the pillow and moaned. He’d done it this time. He had ruined his life for a stupid need, a mad impulse. But the kiss was printed in his heart, and he knew he would never forget it, no matter how hard he tried._ _ _ _ _ _

______‘It’s true, then.’ Harry thought sadly. ‘I’m... Lydia Abbot and I are just the same.’_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry stared at the ceiling, desolate. That was why he had been so agitated when he heard that Lydia liked the old bastard. That was why he had freaked out to see Snape and Lydia together. He had been jealous of her. He knew now what he had tried so hard to avoid for four years. Knowing that Lydia was in love with Snape had awakened his feelings. Harry couldn’t hide it anymore. He was in love, too._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m in love with Snape,” he whispered to himself. “I’m the joke of the century...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______\---------------------_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus Snape was tired._ _ _ _ _ _

______For so long he had fought against himself and his life that he wished that he could just give up. He told Dumbledore that same day that he was ready to retire. He wasn’t needed anymore. He’d called it even with James Potter when he had saved Harry from death after his final battle with Voldemort._ _ _ _ _ _

______But Dumbledore didn’t even want to hear him. And so Severus was stuck in that weird reality where Harry Potter had suddenly burst into his office, accused him of the most ridiculous things, and then… And then the stinking brat had kissed him._ _ _ _ _ _

______‘How dare he?’ he thought, outraged._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus leaned against his armchair and breathed hard. His heart was still pounding painfully in his chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was so tired. He was rather tired of all the fights and struggles he survived through all these years. Lately, he had been feeling quite distressed and absent-minded. He’d convinced McGonagall that he was still recovering from the last battle against the Dark Lord, even after four years, but it wasn’t that._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sure he was sick and tired of everything in his life, but there was something else bothering him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry Potter._ _ _ _ _ _

______He grimaced. It was bloody ironic that on the same day that he had finally admitted to himself that Potter had awakened in him feelings that he’d thought long forgotten, the Golden Boy of Gryffindor had kissed him out of the blue._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus buried his head in his hands. What was the brat thinking? What was he playing at? Perhaps it had been because of a truth or dare game. His dare had been kissing Severus and he had accomplished that quite well. Severus was still shaken by it. The brat knew how to kiss._ _ _ _ _ _

______Potter and his friends were probably laughing their hearts out. Once again, a Potter had humiliated Severus._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus banged his fist on the table, making a few vials slip and crash onto the floor._ _ _ _ _ _

______‘How dare he?’ he thought again._ _ _ _ _ _

______He should’ve gone after the brat and demanded an explanation. He should’ve petrified him._ _ _ _ _ _

______And what was that joke about Lydia Abbot? The girl was in his office just to apologise for not paying enough attention in class and exploding a cauldron. Severus had been very irritated at the time, but he couldn’t bear to see her cry. He’d have done anything to shut her up, even if that meant to take the blame for the episode. And she wasn’t so bad. In a way, it was his fault for not paying enough attention to his students._ _ _ _ _ _

______But that wasn’t Potter’s business. Severus didn’t owe any explanations to him, unless, of course, Dumbledore asked him to. But that was Dumbledore. Harry Potter was just a Professor, not the Headmaster of Hogwarts. He didn’t even deserve to be a Professor, in Severus’ opinion. Potter was too young, too idiotic._ _ _ _ _ _

______He stared at the bubbling liquid on the floor, his mind lost in the kiss. No matter how much he tried to forget, that kiss was still burning his lips. He closed his eyes and sighed._ _ _ _ _ _

______He didn’t want to feel that way. He’d promised himself a long time ago that he would never allow himself to care._ _ _ _ _ _

______Potter was just a brat. Severus shouldn’t lose one minute of his thoughts thinking about him._ _ _ _ _ _

______But… Harry meant so much to him. As much as he hated to admit that, it was true. With his big and bright green eyes and his bold attitude, Harry had made his way into his heart. Severus had tried to ignore it, to push Harry away. After all, even if Severus was not the kind of guy to fall in love and be sappy (which he wasn’t at all), Harry was too young for him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Besides, Potter was irritating and terribly annoying. Severus couldn’t bear to be in the same room with him for more than a few seconds. Severus couldn’t understand why he was interested in a brat like Potter. The brat wasn’t even good-looking. He was kind of cute, though._ _ _ _ _ _

______And that kiss… What did it mean? Was it just a boy’s joke?_ _ _ _ _ _

______He wouldn’t tolerate being made a fool by a Potter. He’d make Potter Junior very sorry for playing with Severus Snape._ _ _ _ _ _

______\-------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _

______The next day, Harry didn’t show up for breakfast. He decided to avoid any confrontations with Snape, and he hid in his office with the excuse of preparing his classes. He didn’t even have lunch with the rest of the staff. Throughout the day, Harry feared that Snape would appear in front of him with his wand ready to duel, but Snape never came. He didn’t know if he should feel relieved or disappointed. In the end, he was feeling just outraged, because clearly the kiss had no effect whatsoever on Snape._ _ _ _ _ _

______He left his office around seven o’clock to go straight to his room, and while he berated his stupidity, he heard someone calling his name. He turned around and saw Neville running towards him covered in mud. He smiled at the scene. Neville was a great teacher, but he had the tendency to get even dirtier than Professor Sprout. As the Herbology teacher for the first and second years, Neville was doing a great job._ _ _ _ _ _

______The only problem with Neville was Snape. Neville always acted clumsily when he was around. That was why Neville liked to gossip about him every little chance he got. It helped him get over his fear of Snape. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. And if once Harry had found that amusing, after the kiss – no, even before that – he found it rather annoying. He didn’t want to hear Neville telling him silly things about Snape. He definitely didn’t want to hear about Lydia Abbot._ _ _ _ _ _

______But as Neville got closer with his eyes glittering, Harry knew that there was no escape._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey, Harry!” greeted Neville. “I’ve wanted to tell you this since yesterday! Have you heard? Someone is in love with Snape!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______While Neville laughed, Harry just smiled feebly, almost bitterly._ _ _ _ _ _

_______‘Yes, Neville, I heard.’ _Harry thought. _‘By the way, Lydia Abbot is not the only one who is in love with him.’ ______ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s a student!” Neville exclaimed. “Can you imagine?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry could, and it was horrible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“What’s wrong?” Neville asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry sighed. “Nothing. I’m just tired.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Neville looked at him confused. “I thought this piece of news would make you laugh, but I guess I was wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh, it is funny!” Harry assured. “It’s just... I already knew.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Really? Who told you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry flushed slightly. “I heard some girls talking in the library.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh.” Neville smiled. “Well, how about playing a joke on Snape? It will be funny!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry raised an eyebrow, wishing for a tiny moment that Neville was still the same coward as before. It’d be funny to play a joke on Snape if Harry hadn’t screwed up with him already – and not in a good sense. But Harry didn’t want to screw Snape or be screwed. No way. What was he thinking? Harry blushed, his face turning a vivid shade of crimson._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Harry, are you ok? You look like you have a fever or something. Are you sick?” Neville asked, worried._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry shook his head. “I’m fine, don’t worry. I just need to… rest… a little…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Isn’t therapy working out for you?” Neville asked kindly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Harry shushed Neville quickly. He didn’t want people to know he was in therapy. It was so embarrassing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“It’s just… Therapy is fine,” Harry said in a low voice. “I’m just… It’s nothing, really.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ok, then. So… We can talk tomorrow about Snape.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yes. Tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Take care!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When Neville was gone, Harry leaned against the wall and sighed. He didn’t understand what was happening to him. He couldn’t stop thinking about Snape. He kept picturing the most indecent scenes with just the two of them in his head, and rather than being disgusted by it, he felt excited. How could that be? He hated the ex-greasy bastard. Just because he had a new haircut, it didn’t mean Harry had to act like a dog in heat. It was just a haircut, for Merlin’s sake! It didn’t matter how sexy and mysterious Snape looked, his new appearance wasn’t enough to change the fact that his personality was horrible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Snape wasn’t a villain, but he wasn’t a good person either, and Harry should keep that in mind before doing something stupid again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________What would it be like when they first meet after The Incident?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Why wait to find out?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________‘No, Harry, don’t be stupid! Just leave it. You can’t possibly be thinking about going there again!’ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But he was. After all, Harry wasn’t a coward. He had made a mistake and therefore he would face the consequences._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He took a deep breath and went to Snape’s office. As he got closer to it, his mouth went dry and his hands got sweaty. He gulped, and then knocked on the door. He heard the sexy throaty voice telling him to come in. His hands were trembling when he caught the doorknob, but that didn’t prevent him from getting in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Once inside, his eyes came across Snape’s, and he flinched._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mr Potter,” Snape began clearly irritated. “What do you want?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I…” Harry swallowed hard. “I came here to apologise.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________What did he mean, what for? He knew goddamn well what for! Snape wasn’t senile, was he? Or perhaps he had cast a Memory Charm on himself because he had felt traumatised after the kiss. But that wasn’t Snape’s style. Harry knew what he was playing at. Snape wanted to humiliate Harry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You know what I’m talking about,” Harry said firmly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Do I?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Look, I didn’t come here to fight, all right? I just came here to apologise, to say that I’m sorry for what I did yesterday,” Harry said quickly and nervously. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I have no excuses, but–”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It was only a dare between you and Mr Longbottom, wasn’t it?” Snape stated quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Harry opened his eyes wide. A dare was a good excuse. It spared Harry from embarrassing questions. It was a lie, though, and he shouldn’t hide behind it. But he did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes, you’re right,” he said. “It was a dare. But Neville is innocent in all of this. It was me that suggested it in the first place. He just went along with it, because he thought I would never do it.” Harry looked down. “I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He knew he looked like a coward, lowering his head like that, and he knew he would make Snape really mad with that stupid excuse. To his utter surprise, he realised he wanted to get Snape mad._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He waited for the moment of explosion, and when it came, he winced._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“HOW DARE YOU!” Snape shouted, rising from his chair and knocking it on the floor. “Do you think this is a funny game, Potter? You’re still acting like you’re twelve and like the rules don’t apply to you! What were you thinking? Even better, do you ever think about the consequences of your actions at all? This is outrageous! I should ask Dumbledore to fire you! First, you came here accusing me of the most preposterous things, and then you had the courage to… to…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Harry looked up, astonished. It was the first time he saw Snape at a loss for words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“After all you’ve been through one would think you would have grown up by now! For a moment, watching you all these years, I really thought you weren’t like your father, Potter. But you’re as childish and immature as he was.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not immature!” Harry retorted, annoyed that his father had been brought up. “It was just a kiss! It wasn’t as if I’d hung you upside-down so everyone would see your greying underpants!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Snape’s face turned all shades of colours, from white to red. He was fuming. In a second, Snape caught Harry by the arm and squeezed it until Harry moaned and winced with pain._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Don’t you dare talk to me with such insolence, boy! Have some respect!” Snape shouted in Harry’s face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not a boy anymore!” Harry bellowed. “And take your hands off me!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Severus smiled bitterly. “Why? You seemed eager for my touch yesterday.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Let me go!” Harry panicked. He didn’t like the look on Snape’s face. It looked too much like a hunter ready to attack his prey._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“NO! It’s time for you to get what you deserve! Perhaps I should teach you a lesson that you’ll never forget.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Snape captured Harry’s lips with a violent kiss. Curiously, Harry didn’t struggle to break free, no matter how much Snape’s teeth were hurting his mouth. Instead of being just a victim, Harry decided to attack as well. He grabbed Snape’s hair and returned the kiss with the same intensity. Harry’s reaction seemed to set Snape on fire. He threw Harry against the wall, pinned his hands together, and ran his mouth along Harry’s neck. Harry moaned loudly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________‘I wonder if I’m a screamer,’ Harry thought while he lost himself in that amazing feeling. He didn’t like to be unable to touch Snape, but so far so good. He loved every minute of Snape’s ministrations._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Please…” Harry whispered, not knowing what he meant._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What?” Snape muttered against Harry’s lips, his eyes lost in desire._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Fuck me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Snape’s eyes opened up widely. Harry was stunned, too, but somehow he knew for sure that that was what he wanted. He was about to do something crazy, something he would probably regret in the morning, but he was too immersed in lust to think about the aftermath of what he was doing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________‘Don’t you ever think at all?’ _he heard Snape shouting in his head.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________‘Stop this, Harry. Stop this now while you still can!’ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________But Harry knew he couldn’t stop anymore. It was too late to go back. He couldn’t fight that feeling. He didn’t want to._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I need you,” confessed Harry, flustered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________His confession was like a cold shower to Snape, who drew back instantly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Snape said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I do!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You’re too young to–”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Don’t give me that! I’m a man now. I’m twenty-three!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And I’m much older than you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry growled. “So what? You’re not that old.” Snape almost laughed at that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You hate me, and I hate you,” Snape still tried to put some sense into Harry’s mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________He was right. There were many reasons to hate Snape, and Sirius’ death was one of them. But Harry didn’t blame Snape as he used to. That was what therapy was for. No one was to blame for Sirius’ death. Snape had tried to help the only way he could. Harry understood that, although it had taken him a lot of time and therapy sessions to believe that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Still, Harry hated him, and yet, he didn’t. It was all very confusing in his heart, and the irritating desire he felt for Snape wasn’t helping. That was why he should surrender to that moment. Perhaps it would go away once it was satisfied._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape was looking at him intently, and Harry remembered their Occlumency lessons. There was something else in Snape’s eyes beside hate. There was desire. Being desired like that was even scarier than having Snape inside his mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“We can make this a one night stand only,” Harry said softly. “No strings attached. It’ll be just…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape frowned. “One night?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry swallowed hard. “Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry wished desperately to read Snape’s eyes, but they were just cold and expressionless as usual. There was a long period of silence. Finally, Snape turned his back to him and said, “Follow me.” Harry did, his feet barely touching the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Was he really going to do this? As Snape closed the door of his room behind them, Harry knew for sure that he would. There was no escape anymore. His hands trembled and he didn’t dare look at Snape. He was the one who started this, but now he was scared. He’d done this before, with another man, two years ago. But this time was different. This time it was Severus Snape. Should Harry call him Severus? It sounded so wrong and yet so right._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Potter,” said Snape harshly. “Look at me. If we’re really going to do this, there’s no point in being shy now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry bit his lower lip and felt Snape’s hand raising his chin so they could look into each other’s eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“If you want out, just say so. I’m too old for this shit,” Snape said quietly, almost gently. Harry was stunned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No, I… I’m ok.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape grimaced as he took Harry’s hands in his and realised they were trembling. “I see.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No, seriously,” Harry tried again, this time more steadily. “I’m fine. I want this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You really don’t think at all, do you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“There’s always a Memory Charm, right?” Harry joked, but Snape didn’t find it funny. “Look, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Maybe this is another one of your dares.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I wouldn’t go this far just for a dare.” That didn’t sound right, but this time Harry saw Snape’s lips curl into what appeared to be a smile. Harry smiled. “You know what I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You’re so annoying,” Snape said more to himself than to Harry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“So are you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry had the impression that Snape had smiled, but in the dim light of the room, he wasn’t sure. His pupils dilated when Snape kissed him. There was no rush in their kiss this time, no punishment. They took their time just enjoying each other’s taste for a long time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You’re nervous,” Snape muttered as he took Harry’s robe off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’m not,” Harry protested faintly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Have you done this before?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Have you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Don’t answer a question with another one,” Snape said, irritated._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry made a face. “It’s only natural, isn’t it? I mean, I never thought you were… You’re not the type to…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Like men?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry flushed. “Well, yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And you are the type.” Snape’s sentence sounded like a provocation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. The Daily Prophet spent a whole edition discussing my condition.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________And Harry had spent months of therapy learning to deal with it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape smiled but didn’t let Harry notice. “I remember. They blamed your relatives.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“They came up with a bunch of theories of why The-Boy-Who-Lived was suddenly gay. So you know about me. What about you? How did it happen? To be honest, I thought you didn’t like anyone, male or female. Actually, I thought you had no sex life at all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape frowned, and Harry knew he had gone too far._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Have you come here to talk or do something else?” Snape asked harshly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry shot him a significant look. Of course, he wasn’t there to talk. He couldn’t help it, though. Snape was such a mystery that he often found himself wanting to know more about him. Harry had some previews of Snape’s awful childhood when they had Occlumency lessons, but that was it. They’d never discussed the matter, and he knew for sure that Snape would never bring the subject up of his own free will._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry’s thoughts ceased when Snape kissed him again and their tongues met._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________His clothes fell to the floor and there he was, naked, fully exposed to Snape’s scrutiny. Harry felt inadequate and stupid. His body looked too skinny, his hair too messy. It seemed as if his scar was gleaming in the dark. His face was hot not from excitement but from shyness. Snape didn’t seem to notice his sudden awkwardness with the situation. His hands cupped Harry’s face and their lips met once more in a heated kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry forgot all about his lack of looks and skills as he watched Snape undressing to reveal a perfect body. At least it was perfect to Harry, even though there were scars on Snape’s chest and back. If Harry’s scar made him look weird, Snape’s scars made him even sexier. Harry felt a little annoyed about that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They lay down on the bed, Snape’s body crushing Harry’s. Harry didn’t care, though. He was too busy lost in the pleasure of being underneath Snape. As Snape kissed and stroked him, Harry surrendered himself. He was amazed by how gentle and attentive Snape could be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’ll ask once again, Potter, and this time I want a proper answer, not another question,” Snape said seriously, and then he asked, “Have you done this before?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes.” And then Harry asked shyly, “Have you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’m forty-two years old, Potter. What do you think?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry shrugged, but he was quite curious about it. There were so many questions he wished to ask. Like who had been Snape’s first, for example, and if he had been in love at the time. But this was a one night stand only. He didn’t have the right to ask that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“If I hurt you, you tell me,” Snape muttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry’s eyes opened wide. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you? Who would have thought you would be so gentle?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape shut Harry up with a kiss. After that, all that could be heard in the room was Snape’s hard breaths and Harry’s loud moans. Harry discovered that he was indeed a screamer, which shocked him. The size of Snape’s shaft was another thing that took Harry by surprise. Harry seriously considered calling the whole thing off. It was impossible for Snape’s cock to fit inside him. It was too big. It barely fit in Harry’s mouth while he sucked on it. Harry loved the taste, though._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Snape prepared his entrance carefully, and Harry leaned back against his chest. Snape penetrated him, moving slowly so Harry could get used to the invasion. He bit his lower lip hard until he tasted blood, but he didn’t ask Snape to stop._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Are you ok?” Snape asked softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Harry just nodded. Snape increased his pace, and Harry moaned as the rhythm increased. Pain and pleasure mingled in his body. A few tears fell from the corners of his eyes. His hand wrapped Snape’s to help him accelerate the strokes on his erection. Harry found release with a harder movement and a strangled moan. He felt extremely sleepy and satisfied, but he waited for Snape to come before letting go of him and falling asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________\-----------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Severus glanced at the naked figure of Harry Potter sleeping deeply by his side before hiding his face in his right arm and sighing. No matter how good it had been to feel Potter in his arms, he had committed a terrible mistake. Harry’s company hadn’t just awakened his body but a part of his heart that he had thought was dead and buried forever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________One night only. No more. It was for the best._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________‘What have I done?’ he thought, distressed. Dumbledore would kill him if he knew._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________It didn’t matter if Potter had called him Sev during sex in the cutest way. It didn’t matter if Potter was cute at all. It was over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Just one night. Now that it was over, it wasn’t enough. Severus wanted more and he couldn’t understand why. He allowed his hard countenance to soften as he glanced at Harry one last time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________‘I can’t feel this way. Tomorrow I’ll tell Dumbledore that he’ll have to look for another Potions Master.’_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus behaves like his usual bastard self. Harry won't have it.

"No, I won’t accept this unless you give me a good reason, Severus," Dumbledore retorted after hearing all Severus had to say.

"Headmaster, this is final. I’m retiring whether you find someone to fill my place or not," Severus stated.

Dumbledore looked at him with gentle eyes. "You’re too young to retire."

"I won’t retire exactly," Severus said, looking down. He couldn’t face Dumbledore. The Headmaster always knew what Severus was feeling when their eyes met. "I need some time alone to think things over. Maybe I’ll open a shop in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley."

"If you want a vacation, just say so, but I won’t dismiss you from your duties in this school. No matter what you think, you’re truly needed here."

Severus knew that was a lie. No one needed him. Dumbledore had hired him in the past because Severus had nowhere else to go because he was broken and his reputation was mud. Dumbledore had been the only one to give him a second chance. Severus was thankful for that, but it was time for him to let go. One of the reasons he’d stayed for so long in Hogwarts was Potter. He had been obsessed with the idea of protecting the boy, and by doing so, he paid his duty to Harry’s father. Mission accomplished, now it was time to move on.

"What’s troubling you, my dear boy?" Dumbledore asked kindly. 

Severus looked up, his eyes shimmering. Dumbledore had always treated him like he was still a boy instead of a man. The Headmaster had always been kind to him, but then again, Dumbledore was kind to everybody. Severus considered him as a father, the gentle and understanding father he had never had. That was why he couldn’t tell Dumbledore what had happened between Potter and him. He couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Dumbledore’s eyes. 

"Nothing is bothering me," Severus said quietly, lying shamelessly. 

"You know I consider you a son, Severus." Severus’ heart beat faster, but he said nothing. "A son that has mishaps; a rebel son that – as it normally happens – thought he knew too much of the world and chose a wrong path but eventually came back matured. Although sometimes I see that same rebel boy in your eyes, I know you don’t mean it. You’re not that boy anymore, even if you still hold on to old grudges from your past. You forget that I know you better than anyone else. I know your heart, even if you don’t show it. That’s why I know for sure that something is bothering you. You’ve wanted to leave before, but never with this urgency. Tell me, does your decision have anything to do with Harry Potter?" 

Severus tried to hide his astonishment, but he wasn’t quick enough. Dumbledore noticed his slip. 

"Is there anything you wish to tell me, Severus?" 

Severus opened his mouth but nothing came out. He couldn’t tell Dumbledore. The Headmaster wouldn’t forgive him for taking advantage of Harry Potter, even if it had only happened once. 

"No, Headmaster, there’s nothing to tell."

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll rearrange your timetable so you can have more free time to think things over as you put it. After a month, if you still wish to go, I won’t stop you, although it will be a great loss for this school, and for me."

Severus nodded in acceptance. "Thank you, Headmaster."

Severus turned to leave, but Dumbledore’s next words made him flinch almost imperceptibly. 

"You've turned out to be a great man, Severus. You’ve expiated your sins already. It’s time to let go, yes, but not in the same way you think. Allow yourself to love, Severus. Isn’t there a song that says ‘All you need is love’? I really love that song..." Dumbledore smiled. 

"There’s no such thing as love for a man like me," Snape muttered under his breath.

"Isn’t there? I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you."

Severus slammed the door of Dumbledore’s office, just like the Headmaster knew he would. He didn’t feel angry, though. He was used to it at that point. Dumbledore knew his ex-pupil’s personality very well. If only Severus allowed himself to be happy. Dumbledore wasn’t lying when he said that Severus had turned out to be a great man. 

The Headmaster wished there was a way to make Severus see that he wasn’t as cold and restrained as he liked to act. Severus was more emotional than he thought. He was even more emotional than Harry, Dumbledore thought with amusement. 

He sighed and looked at Fawkes. "I wonder, my dear friend, if Severus will ever notice how much he has in common with the one he calls an idiot and claims to dislike. Harry is like Severus in many ways. They’re both in love but can’t admit it, and they never tell me what’s in their hearts even though they know better by now than to keep secrets from me. I can always tell what’s in their hearts. But they’re also too stubborn to realise that I know more about them than they know themselves." 

Fawkes peeped loudly. 

"I see. But I think Harry isn’t as afraid of love as Severus. So, yes, there’s still hope." Dumbledore stroked Fawkes fondly and the bird gave him a soft peck on the shoulder. 

\-----------------------

Harry had successfully avoided Snape for a whole week. Not that he had to put a lot of effort into that, because Snape seemed to be avoiding him as well. If Harry was to be honest with himself, he would admit that it was Snape who was running away from him. Harry wished to bump into him just once so they would be forced to face one another. But it seemed as if fate was against them. 

They only met each other when there were too many people around. All Harry could do on those occasions was glance at Snape out of the corner of his eyes, and quickly look away when Snape shot him one of his cold glares. 

Hadn’t he liked that night? Because Harry couldn’t forget about it even for a minute. He’d lost count of how many times he had caught himself in stupid fantasies about stripping Snape in the broom shed, in his office, in his bedroom, even in The Great Hall. 

He sighed melancholically. He really was in love, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself. But the question of the century was why. Why was he in love with Snape? Perhaps he was just mixing lust with love.

Just one night hadn’t been enough for him. He wanted more, but he didn’t know how to ask for it. By the look of things, Snape didn’t want anything with him anymore. One night had been sufficient for the bastard. Harry clutched his fists in fury. If Snape thought he would get rid of Harry that easily, he was very wrong. He’d make Snape see what he was missing. 

Harry stopped in the middle of the corridor and bit his lower lip. What was he thinking? He didn’t want to be with Snape again, did he? He wouldn’t allow himself to be humiliated by Snape. But he had already allowed that to happen. 

‘No, that night wasn’t about humiliation. It was about desire,’ he told himself. ‘I loved it all, even if I could barely walk the next day.’

What could he do? He was so confused. He wanted more, but a voice inside his head was also telling him to stay away from temptation. Snape was trouble. Nothing good could come out of that. It would be just sex between them and nothing more. Did Harry really want that? 

Didn’t he want something meaningful? Just the other day he was telling Hermione how much he missed being in a real relationship. He was ready to commit to someone. His therapist had said so. Hermione had said so. Even Ron, who was the biggest idiot when it came to love, had said so. And Snape was anything but that kind of person. 

It was all Lydia Abbot’s fault. If she wasn’t in love with the bastard, Harry wouldn’t be facing this dilemma. He wouldn’t have kissed Snape in the first place. Kissing Snape, he realised, was a desperate measure, a way to mark his territory. It was a stupid feeling of possession like Snape belonged to him. It was his way of screaming to her: MINE, MINE, MINE! 

‘What was I thinking?’ he berated himself. ‘He isn’t a thing to be possessed. He doesn’t even like me.’

He kept his head down as he walked. He was so distracted by his own thoughts that he didn’t see the other person coming towards him, and he bumped into him. The person enlaced his waist before he could fall to the ground. Harry looked up to thank whoever it was and gulped when he met Snape’s glacial stare, the one that made Harry tremble all over. Harry didn’t have much time to enjoy Snape’s proximity, because he pushed Harry away harshly as soon as he noticed that Harry was all right. 

"Watch where you’re going."

Before Harry could react properly, Snape walked away. 

"Hey!" Harry shouted. "Wait up! We need to talk!"

Snape kept walking as if Harry hadn’t said anything. Harry had to run to keep up with him.

"Don’t run away from me!" Harry said fuming as he walked behind Snape.

Snape stopped abruptly at the sound of those words, and Harry bumped into him again, this time falling to the floor spectacularly. The older man turned around, looked down, and scowled at Harry as if he were a disgusting bug. 

"Who’s running away?" Snape snarled. 

"You are," Harry said boldly. "You’ve been acting as if I don’t exist, as if the night we had didn’t happen!"

Harry felt himself being pulled from the ground and tossed carelessly inside an empty classroom. A chair prevented him from falling onto the floor again. Snape looked at him murderously, and Harry felt the familiar desire burning him. 

‘I’m a masochist and I didn’t know!’ he realised, shocked. 

"What–"

"Be quiet!" Snape cut him off harshly. "What would people think if they heard you? Why do you have to be so childish, so careless?"

Harry made an offended face. "I’m not childish, I told you already!"

"If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be discussing such personal things in a school corridor, for Merlin’s sake! This school spreads gossip in a heartbeat!" Snape snarled. "Do you think I want people to know about the biggest mistake of my life?"

Harry’s heart broke at those words, but he just held his chin high and retorted insolently, "Well, if you didn’t run away every time we met I wouldn’t bring that subject up in one of the school corridors! And you seemed to have enjoyed the biggest mistake of your life."

Snape’s face contorted with anger. "What do you want, Potter? You were the one who said it would only be a one night stand! We had it and now it’s over. I don’t have time for this. And I definitely don’t have time for you."

"You’re such a bastard."

If Harry had talked to him like that while he was a student, Severus would have made him wish he was never born. He still could, but Harry was now a Professor. Severus had no authority over him whatsoever. Still, the brat was being insolent. He should pay. 

Harry was thrown against the wall and his hands were pinned together. His heartbeat quickened. This scenario was becoming very familiar. ‘But not less arousing,’ Harry thought bitterly.

"Why do you keep annoying me?" Snape muttered between his teeth, his mouth very close to Harry’s. "Find someone else to play with, Potter. You’re nothing to me but this little insignificant and very disrespectful pest that keeps getting in my way."

Harry’s eyes shimmered, but he didn’t break their gaze. "So you just used me," he accused.

Snape was taken aback. "You were the one who started it! You seduced me."

"Oh, please!" Harry sneered. "You sound like you’re younger than me! Do I have that kind of power over you?"

Severus clutched his fists in front of Harry’s face and spilt viciously, "You have nerves, boy! If it wasn’t for Dumbledore, I’d have punished you for your cheek long ago. You always have this superior look on your face, like you’re better than everybody else. I have news for you. There’s nothing special about you and that night just proved it. I was just trying to be a gentleman by avoiding you, but you don’t make things easy, do you?"

Harry breathed hard, his eyes shimmering with tears of fury. So he wasn’t good enough, huh? He would show him. 

And before he knew it, he raised his right fist against Snape, ready to strike him, but Snape caught his hand in mid-air. 

Snape smirked. "You’re so predictable, so emotional. You haven’t learned anything. I can see everything you feel in your eyes." Snape’s expression changed, but Harry didn’t know what to make of that. He was still too angry and hurt to react. "Haven’t I taught you anything? You keep handing me weapons to use against you. I know exactly how to hurt you, because you’re incapable of keeping your feelings to yourself, to lock them where they belong. I still don’t know how you defeated the Dark Lord." Harry looked down, but Snape raised his chin to look deeply into his eyes. "You’re hurt. You shouldn’t be. Why do you care about my opinion, if all your life you despised it? Fool. That’s what you are. You’re a fool."

"No, you are! Why do you care whether I show my stupid emotions to you or not? You have no idea how I really feel. You can’t see it all!"

"You’re led by your emotions. You’re weak. Don’t you get it, Potter? It’s so easy to hurt you. You know this, and yet you can’t hide what you feel from anyone. Did you know that you were almost killed because of that? He knew everything about you. I really thought you wouldn’t make it." Snape’s eyes were unexpectedly very bright, like he was struggling with his feelings.

Harry looked at him, confused. "What are you saying? I don’t understand."

Snape stroked Harry’s face softly. "The Dark Lord knew all of your weak spots, but you still defeated him."

"You aren’t making any sense. Why are you bringing this up now? What does it matter?" Harry bit his lower lip, annoyed. He didn’t like to remember that battle. He didn’t like to remember anything about Voldemort. "He’s dead. Emotional or not, I killed him. I don’t know why you’re saying these things to me, but I don’t consider myself weak just because I have a heart. Why do you care if I’m hurt? Why do you keep hurting me if you care? I don’t understand."

"Because you’re a fool." Snape stepped back. He tried to leave the room, but Harry caught him by the sleeve. Where did he think he was going? Their conversation had just started. Harry was suddenly very curious about that mysterious man who looked so very human, resembling nothing of the Snape he knew. 

"Are you saying," Harry began carefully, "that this is the distorted way you came up with to let me know that you don’t want to hurt me?" Harry was so nervous, so incredulous, that he felt the urge to laugh madly. "You don’t want to hurt me!" 

Severus blushed slightly, but Harry didn’t see it. 

"You’re so bloody complicated!" Harry exclaimed. 

"Don’t be stupid," Snape muttered, looking the other way.

"You’re a strange man."

"I just want you to grow up once and for all."

"And become numb like you? No, thanks. I’m very happy being emotional."

"You don’t get it, do you?"

"No. But I do understand one thing. You’re the one who’s scared of me."

"Potter…"

"Let me finish! If that night hadn’t meant anything at all, you wouldn’t be so defensive. You would ignore me just like you always do. But it did mean something, didn’t it? You keep telling me to stop being so emotional, but you’re such a hypocrite! You’re always emotional when we’re together!" Harry’s eyes lighted up as if he had discovered something big. "You’re afraid of me because I’m the only one who can make you lose your precious self-control!" He was amazed by his discovery, but Severus was shocked. 

"That’s not–" Severus began angrily, only to be cut off by Harry’s cute smile. 

"I got you! Even you with all your eloquence can’t get out of this one," Harry said, amused. 

"Shut up," Snape groaned, upset.

"This is a historical moment; the day that Harry Potter uncovered one of the facades of Severus Snape! Hah!"

"I said, shut up," Snape warned him. 

"Perhaps I should throw a party to celebrate. I finally won a discussion against you! I feel–"

Harry was cut off by Snape’s fiery kiss, which made him lose his balance. He was sustained by Snape’s firm grip on his waist. 

"Don’t trick yourself, Potter," Snape muttered against Harry’s lips. "You don’t know me at all."

"I will. Someday I will expose you."

"Don’t talk nonsense."

Harry looked at him, serious. "I could hurt you if I wanted to because you also handed me weapons. I know a lot of things about you; things you showed me through your memories, and I’m not just talking about that day that I went through the Pensieve. You let me see inside your mind. I’ll never forget that. I’ll never forget the things I saw. But I would never use them against you. That’s not who I am."

Harry could see Snape was surprised and shaken by his words. He gently stroked Snape’s face and brought their lips together. He expected to be shoved away, but Snape was so shocked that he wasn’t reacting. Once again, Harry put his tongue inside his mouth to awaken him, to make Snape kiss him back like the first time. 

"Please, kiss me," Harry supplicated softly. Snape’s expression was unreadable, but Harry didn’t lose hope. 

He hated to beg like this, like he had no pride. He’d promised himself not to humiliate himself for Snape. But he wasn’t thinking. His need to be ravished was bigger than anything else, even his pride. He should be ashamed of himself. Snape would destroy him for being so weak. He’d give Harry the same senseless speech as before.

But Snape surprised him by granting his wish with a gentle kiss that made Harry melt. 

"What can I do to push you away?" Severus asked himself. 

"There’s nothing you can do. Besides, do you really want to?" Harry said with his usual insolence.

Severus’ lips curled. "You’re the only one who has the nerve to talk to me like this. Brat."

Harry smiled. "But you love it."

Severus held his breath for a second. "Love?" He grimaced. "Your stupidity never ceases to amaze me, Potter."

Harry shrugged. "You know what I mean."

"What do you want from me?"

"You."

Severus frowned. "Me? What’s that supposed to mean?"

"That I want you, just you. I..." Harry looked down shyly. "I don’t want just a one night stand."

"If you want sex, find someone your own age," Severus said, indifferent.

"It’s not just sex. I want to know you. I..."

"Know me? Why?" asked Severus, astonished. 

"I just do," Harry muttered, unable to answer that properly. 

They kept quiet for a long time. While Severus struggled with his emotions, Harry wondered if he was doing the right thing by being so bold, so honest. Snape’s face was expressionless as usual, and Harry didn’t know what to make of that. 

"I have to think about this. I can’t decide just like that," Severus said, annoyed. 

Harry opened his eyes wide. He would think about it. That was a good thing, wasn’t it? 

"Drop by my room after dinner," Severus said, and Harry held his breath. "Be discreet, for Merlin’s sake. I don’t want anyone to find out, do you hear me? If you tell anyone..." he let the phrase hanging. 

"I won’t," Harry guaranteed.

Severus nodded. He looked at Harry one last time, stroked his face softly and fled the room, leaving a confused and stunned Harry behind. 

\---------------------------

Severus scolded himself for the tenth time that night. He didn’t know what he was thinking. But he would be forgiven, he was sure of it. No one in his right mind could resist those pleading green eyes. And he wasn’t a saint; he was very far from being one. 

There were so many things to consider. He’d have to keep it a secret, which wouldn’t be easy. It was very hard to keep a secret in Hogwarts. There was always someone eavesdropping somewhere. No one could know about it, though, and he would make sure of that. Harry’s life – and his – could be ruined if the truth about them came out.  
Severus knew at least one person that would definitely kill him for that. But he couldn’t resist. He didn’t want to. Potter was too much of a temptation. 

He sat down on his favourite armchair and waited for the moment of truth to come. He’d almost fallen asleep when he heard someone laughing madly, followed by someone swearing and a suit of armour falling to the ground. Severus immediately stood up and opened his door to see what had happened, and he found Potter completely wet and extremely upset. 

"Peeves!" Harry explained before Severus could say anything. 

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do you even know the meaning of the word discretion, Potter?"

And then Harry heard himself talking as if he were still a student, "It wasn’t my fault! It was that damn–"

"Obviously," Severus cut across Harry sharply, "you inspire no authority whatsoever, or else he wouldn’t do this to you. Half of the school must have heard you!"

Harry growled. He had just come from Remus’ office in a very bad mood, that had gotten worse when he met Peeves on the way to Snape’s room, so he didn’t need to hear that. He had been careless, but there was no one in sight. Why did Snape have to worry so much?

"Nobody saw me," Harry said, running his fingers through his soaked hair.

Severus seemed to become hypnotized by that movement, but he managed to say, "You’re not so worthless."

Harry made a face. "Are you going to let me in or what?"

Severus stepped aside and Harry stepped in sneezing. 

"Damn that poltergeist. Could I have a towel?" Harry asked sniffing. 

"Aren’t you a delicate flower…?" Severus said playfully, making Harry fume. 

Before Harry could retort Severus vanished to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later with a black towel in his hands. He tossed it carelessly to Harry and sat on his armchair, a glass of brandy in his hand. He sipped it while he watched Harry messing his hair even more with the towel. Somehow Severus found it sexy. Harry’s clumsy movements were kind of cute. He closed his eyes and gripped the glass, annoyed by his train of thoughts. One minute more and he would be aroused. 

He took a sip of the brandy, opened his eyes, and choked as he watched the brat stripping without any shyness in front of him. He slammed the glass on the table and stood up furiously. 

"Potter, what do you think you’re doing?"

Harry looked at him innocently. "What?"

"Why are you taking your clothes off?" 

The brat had the nerve to smile as he explained, "Because I’m wet."

"Have you no shame at all?"

"I just took off my robe and my shirt!" Harry objected. "Why do you bother?"

"If I have to explain it to you, you’re more stupid than I thought."

Harry chuckled. "Don’t tell me that just the sight of my naked chest is enough to excite you."

"Shut up," Severus grunted. "Why did it take you so long to get here, anyway?"

"You didn’t settle a time. Besides, I was planning to come here earlier, but Remus wanted to talk to me and–"

"Lupin wanted to talk to you? About what?" Severus interrupted him abruptly. 

Harry gazed at Severus, curious. "It’s private."

"Private? Did it have something to do with us?" 

Harry sighed. "No, we didn’t even mention your name."

"Then what–"

"Drop it! It’s private; I told you already!" Harry snapped, upset. 

"Don’t use that disrespectful tone of voice with me!" Severus roared. 

"Wouldn’t you tell me to mind my own business if I had asked you about some private matter of yours?"

Severus pondered for a second, and then said with a grimace, "Touché." 

Harry wrapped the towel around his shoulders and sighed. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so rude. It’s just… Remus and I…"

"Problems in paradise?" Severus suggested maliciously, but then, realising what Harry could mean by that, he asked angrily, "Are you and Lupin together?" 

Harry was shocked, but then he chuckled, incredulously. "Ew. No. Of course not! Are you jealous?"

Severus blushed slightly and crossed his arms. "Don’t be ridiculous! I couldn’t care less. It’s just that I don’t like to share my partner, that’s all."

Harry smiled. "Partner? I guess that’s a compliment coming from you! Have you decided, then?" 

Severus was touched by the glitter he spotted in Harry’s eyes, but he didn’t let it show. "I do have some rules, though."

"So that’s a yes!" 

"Yes, brat, it’s a yes." 

Harry grinned, wishing he could jump up and down like a stupid school girl in love and shout YES! 

"But, like I said," Severus began with his usual coldness. "We need to get a few things straight. Number one, we don’t have dates. This is not a relationship; it’s just a weird…"

"Friendship?" Harry suggested sweetly. 

"Yes, you could say that. Although friends don’t exactly…"

"Screw each other?" 

"Potter, stop interrupting me!" Severus replied angrily. 

Harry shrugged. "Sorry." Harry was so happy that he didn’t care whether Snape was mad at him or not. 

"Number two, no one can know about us. And this includes Weasley and Granger."

"Ron would have a heart attack if he knew anyway," Harry joked.

"Don’t push your luck, Potter. I can call the whole deal off in a second."

"But you won’t." There was a hint of insecurity in Harry’s voice.

"If you keep annoying me, I will."

Severus read a silent challenge in Harry’s eyes, but Harry just nodded submissively. 

"Is that all?" Harry asked. 

"No, that’s not all. You’re forbidden to ask me questions about my past."

"But I want to know you better."

"And I don’t want that."

Harry looked down, clutching his fists. "You don’t make things easy, do you?"

"Take it or leave it. It’s simple as that."

Harry looked up. "Ok. I’ll take it." He dropped the towel on the floor and walked towards Severus. 

Severus never thought Harry could be so tempting. He had always thought of Harry as a naïve and stupid boy, but the brat looked anything but naïve that night. He had a determined look on his face, and Severus knew he was lost. He would allow himself once again to be seduced by that fake innocence. 

He was weak, that was his problem. He’d been alone for so long that he had honestly thought he was immune to that kind of situation. But there was something about Harry that awakened his whole body. He was all of a sudden very aware of his five senses, especially the sense of smell and taste. 

"You can spend the night here, but not every night," Severus heard himself saying. He saw the enthusiasm in Harry’s eyes and he frowned. Because he didn’t want Harry to think that Severus wanted his company for the whole night, he added quickly, "I’m only doing this because it’s too risky for you to go back to your room. Someone might see you."

Harry’s enthusiasm faded a little, but he couldn’t expect more from someone like Snape. As a matter of fact, it was a miracle that Snape had agreed to be his lover in the first place. 

"I have a condition, too," Harry said quietly.

Severus scowled. "What’s that?"

"I... I won’t accept to be humiliated by you in any way, and I won’t tolerate being treated like a twelve-year-old anymore. I’m not a child, and what we’re about to do is anything but childish. I’m a man now; I’ve been a man for quite a while in fact. You have no right to treat me any differently."

The security in Harry’s voice took Severus by surprise, and newfound respect grew in his heart. No, the brat was anything but childish at that moment. Even skinny and slender, Harry looked suddenly bigger and sexier. Yes, he was a man, and Severus was quite aware of that. 

Slowly, Severus shortened the distance between them, and his hand stroked Harry’s face and hair softly. He saw how taken aback Harry seemed to be by his gesture, but he didn’t care. Their noses touched, and Harry’s unsteady breath caressed his lips. He closed his eyes as Harry brushed their lips together, and had to struggle hard not to sigh in pleasure. Their kiss was deliberately unhurried. With the tip of his tongue, Harry traced his lips, and Severus wondered who the hell taught him to kiss like that. 

When their kiss finally deepened, Severus embraced Harry firmly. He was amazed by the powerful emotions that were invading his frozen soul. Severus felt as if he was being violated with such tenderness. He felt as if he wouldn’t be able to take it. But years of self-restraint held him in check.

When Harry took off Severus' clothes, he didn’t protest. He also made no objections when Harry’s lips went down on him, licking up and down his shaft until Severus was gasping audibly. He didn’t mind at all to reciprocate the pleasure he had received, and while Harry moaned underneath him, he thought that nothing in his life had ever felt sweeter and better. 

"Sev... Sev..." Harry moaned, melting his heart.

While Severus struggled to keep his self-control intact, Harry lost himself completely. Being inside Harry almost broke Severus. Harry was so tight around his erection, so mellowed. Their bodies moved slowly at first, then picked up a frantic pace that made Harry's moans echoed all over the room. Severus briefly wondered if he had remembered to silent-proof the room before he too got so lost in pleasure he was amazed to hear himself groan. Harry's climax was a thing of beauty. He threw back his head, eyes glazed and mouth agape. Severus had no alternative but to bite the exposed neck before cumming himself. 

After it was over, Harry fell asleep almost immediately, and Severus couldn’t resist watching him silently. Harry had a grin on his lips which amused Severus. He traced Harry’s face with his fingers barely touching it, and brushed his lips lightly on Harry’s. Then he clutched his fists and backed away, his heart pounding painfully in his chest. 

Severus realised, stunned, that he was scared of those feelings that he couldn’t understand. He took his pillow and headed for the couch. It was better not to stay too close. It was better to be as far away as he could from temptation. 

\-------------------

Harry woke up sweating and panting, and for a moment he felt lost, not knowing where he was and how he’d gotten there. As his breath steadied and his heart calmed down, he realised he was in Snape’s room, but Snape was nowhere to be found. Harry didn’t know whether he should feel relieved or not by Snape’s absence. On the bright side, Snape hadn’t seen Harry tossing and turning on his bed because of a familiar nightmare he had ever since Sirius’ death. 

Not that Snape would care. The Potions Master wouldn’t ask too many questions because he couldn’t care less about him. 

But if Snape found out that Harry was taking a substance almost daily to sleep without the nightmares, then Harry would be in trouble. He was already in trouble with Remus because of that. He didn’t want Snape to be mad at him, too, at least not for that reason. 

The substance wasn’t forbidden. Madam Pomfrey had it in her storage. But the liquid was quite strong, and it should only be taken under the authorisation of a Healer. Harry didn’t have that authorisation, which he found very unfair. His Healer had refused to keep giving it to him, so Harry had to find a way to get it for himself. Black market, Knockturn Alley. 

If people knew about it, Harry would be in so much trouble. But what could he do? He was addicted to it. He couldn’t sleep without it. The only night he had slept peacefully without it was his first night with Snape. But then, Snape had slept next to him. 

‘Where is he?’ Harry asked himself. 

He got off of the bed and found Snape sleeping on the couch. Harry frowned.

‘Why is he sleeping here?’

Harry knelt down beside Snape and watched him quietly. Snape’s hard countenance had softened a lot, and he didn’t look at all like the Snape that Harry was used to. Harry smiled feebly. He couldn’t understand how he’d found Snape ugly before. He was so beautiful. 

Harry got lost in a daze, and he jumped from fright when his eyes met a pair of icy black eyes. 

"AHHHH!"

Severus frowned. "I must look terrible if you reacted like this."

Harry put his hand on his chest and waited for his heart to calm down. "It isn’t that. You scared me. You were supposed to be sleeping."

"And what’s that supposed to mean?" Snape asked hoarsely, making Harry shiver. 

"Why do you have such a sexy voice?" Harry asked absently. 

Snape gazed at Harry, who blushed as he realised what he had just said. 

"Sometimes you’re cute, Potter."

Harry’s eyes opened up widely. Perhaps he had heard it wrong. Did Snape just say something nice to him?

"What?" Snape asked, annoyed. "Am I not allowed to say things like that?"

"Of course you are, but it’s so... weird."

Snape scowled. "Don’t get used to it."

"I won’t. I know you too much to expect these sorts of things–"

"Let’s get something straight," Snape said. "You don’t know me, no matter what you saw in my head."

Harry looked down, and Snape raised his chin until their eyes were on the same level. 

"Where’s your famous insolent look and retort?" Snape asked. Harry shrugged, and Snape sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"No. What are you doing here?" 

There it was – the defiant look. Severus never wished to kiss Harry as much as at that moment.

"I’m not used to sharing my bed."

"You’ll learn, then."

Snape almost smiled. "I will, won’t I?" He blamed slumber for having awakened his soft side. "Did you come here just to get me into bed with you?"

"Yes," Harry whispered shyly. He hadn’t brought his medicine with him, so the only way he could sleep peacefully that night was if Snape was with him. But he couldn’t tell Snape that. And if he were true to himself, he would admit that he wanted Snape’s company more than anything. "Besides, your bed is too big. I feel so small in it. I just..."

Harry didn’t finish his sentence because Snape kissed him, taking him fully by surprise. When Snape's lips left his, Harry felt empty. But he didn’t have to wait long. The Potions Master had gotten off the couch and taken him in his arms, leading Harry to bed. Harry’s eyes shimmered. 

"You’re being weirdly nice," Harry said. 

"As I said, Potter," Snape muttered as he laid Harry on the bed. "Don’t get used to this."

And Harry let himself be ravished.


	3. Part 3

A month passed. Severus communicated to the Headmaster that he would stay for the time being, but he still wanted his timetable to be rearranged. He needed some time for himself, especially now that Potter was in his life. Dumbledore seemed quite happy with his decision, but Severus was still unsure of it. 

Dumbledore had asked him about his reasons for staying, but Severus refused to tell him. He was ashamed of it. He hated to keep secrets from the Headmaster, but he couldn’t tell him that he had stayed because of Potter and the best shag of his life. 

Did he really stay just because of Potter?

He sighed, defeated, knowing the answer to that question. 

He stared at his sixth-year students – Gryffindors and Slytherins – and paid attention to a boy from his house that reminded him so much of himself at that same age. Kirk Thompson was his most brilliant student. He was also moody and defensive. Just like him. Severus often wondered if Kirk suffered from abuse at home as well; if his father was as cruel as Severus’ father had been. 

Unaware of Severus’ eyes on him, Kirk shot a quick look at a Gryffindor boy that was sitting behind him. The blond Gryffindor boy named Dionysus smiled shyly at him, and Kirk looked away, flustered. 

Severus frowned at the scene he had just witnessed. There was something very wrong about a Gryffindor and a Slytherin being friendly to one another. Not that Kirk was being friendly, but Severus knew that look. It wasn’t just friendship they were seeking. He was picking up a lot more in the air. 

He thought about whether he should talk to Kirk or not – maybe take a few points from Dionysus for having the audacity to smile at a Slytherin – when Harry Potter burst into the classroom gasping for air. Severus was so taken aback by it that he took a while to react. The students were quieter than usual and they were all looking at Harry, waiting. 

“Potter?”

“Professor Potter, are you all right?” asked Dionysus, worried.

Severus glared at him. Only a Gryffindor could be so protective of their favourite teacher. 

“Mr Potter, is there a problem?” Severus asked coldly.

“You… and… I… talk… now!” Harry panted. 

Yeah, right. Like Severus would just obey him like a puppet. 

“I’m in the middle of a very important lesson, Potter, so could you please–”

“NO!” Harry exclaimed, upset. “I need to talk to you. Now.”

Not wanting to make a scene, Severus excused himself – with a few threats in case his students misbehaved during his absence - and made Harry follow him to his office. Once they were there, he turned to Potter and fumed, “What in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing?” 

“Is it true that you were thinking about leaving school?” Harry asked. 

Severus raised an eyebrow, annoyed. “Who told you?”

“Dumbledore! Since it’s my time off, he asked me to give you your new timetable. I asked him why you needed a new one and he told me that it was the only way he could come up with to convince you to stay in the school because you were in quite a hurry to leave!”

Severus turned his back to Harry and crossed his arms. “First of all, it wasn’t your place to ask the Headmaster such a question about me! My reasons don’t concern you. What makes you think you have the right to ask about my personal matters?”

Harry smirked. “Do you really need to ask that, or should I remind you?”

Severus’ eyes shimmered, and he turned to look at Harry. “Don’t be insolent!”

“Then don’t treat me like I’m stupid,” Harry answered back.

“What does it matter if I was leaving or not? I’m not leaving anymore, am I? The new timetable is proof of that. What does it matter?”

Harry looked down, suddenly very tired. “I just... wanted to know if your reason for leaving was... me.”

Severus snorted, but his heartbeat quickened. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, Potter.”

Harry looked up. “Then why?”

Severus sighed, upset. “This doesn’t concern you. I can’t believe that you pulled me out of my class to throw such a scene! I already told you that my affairs are my business only. You have nothing to do with them! Now, if this conversation is over, I’ll return to class. Leave the timetable on my desk before you leave.”

Severus headed for the door, but Harry’s words stopped him.

“I just... Well, Dumbledore hinted that... that you were stressed and... sick. Are you? Is it because of me?”

Severus wondered what kind of game the Headmaster was playing. Severus was stressed, that was true, but he wasn’t ill. 

He gazed at Harry, and he was stunned to see how troubled Harry looked. Harry was worried about him. He felt a crack in his heart. Severus didn’t owe him any explanations, but the younger man looked so hurt and anxious that Severus felt pity for him. Only Harry had the power to affect him like that. Against his will, he came closer to Harry and stroked his face.

“I wanted to leave because... I was tired. I am tired,” Severus said, and he didn’t know who was more shocked by his revelation, Harry or him. “Let’s face it, Potter, I’m not a popular teacher. All the students hate me and my classes. It was nice at first, but now that my mission is complete, I...”

“Mission?” Harry frowned. “What mission?”

Severus flushed slightly. He asked himself what he was doing, letting his feelings out like that. 

“That’s not really the point!” Severus said, irritated. “The thing is, no one will miss me in this school, and it’s been a long time since I took some time off. I was just planning to go on vacation, rest a little, rethink my life. But...” But an annoying brat had gotten in his way, making him change his mind. Of course, he couldn’t tell Harry that.

“It’s not true, you know? You’re not that bad,” Harry said gently. 

Severus sneered. “Not that bad, huh?”

Harry blushed. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ve always found your classes better than Binns’!”

Severus should have been offended by that, but curiously, he wasn’t. He knew exactly what everyone thought of him and his classes, and Harry’s opinion wasn’t any different. But only Harry would say something like that to his face. “Was that supposed to cheer me up?” he asked, trying to look angry. 

“N-no... I mean, y-yes,” Harry stuttered adorably. “What I wanted to say was that you’re a good teacher. You’re the best in your field, actually. There’s no one who knows more about Potions than you! You treat the subject like it’s a poem, an art.”

“It is an art,” Severus stated.

“Exactly! You love this stuff. In fact, it’s the only thing you’re passionate about,” Harry said. Severus thought that Potions wasn’t the only thing he was passionate about, but he wouldn’t tell Harry that, so he just let Harry carry on with his speech, “And you make quite an impression on your students! I still remember my first class with you, that’s for sure. Mr Potter, our new celebrity,” Harry imitated Severus’ tone of voice, and Severus had to hide his mouth behind his hand not to smile. “You’re just a little too uptight and severe. Well, I guess your name fits you, doesn’t it?”

“Potter...” Severus said warningly. 

“My point is... If you loosened up a little or even smiled once in a while, I’m sure they would love you.”

_‘Like Lydia Abbot,’ _Harry thought bitterly. _‘Maybe Snape should remain just as he is, then no stupid girls will fall for him ever again.’ _____

____Severus was touched by Harry’s speech, but he didn’t let it show. “I don’t want them to love me, Potter. Are we done?”_ _ _ _

____Harry clutched his fists angrily. “No, I’m not done. I... I want to apologise for interrupting your class like that. I just... Well, I needed to know if you were ok. I was worried. You’re not lying to me, are you? You’re not sick?”_ _ _ _

____Harry had never looked as adorable as at that moment. His sweet eyes melted Severus’ heart a little._ _ _ _

____“I’m not sick, Potter, well, not literally. Don’t you feel sick of things sometimes?”_ _ _ _

____Harry smiled sadly. “I do. A lot.” Then he moved closer to Severus, almost touching him. “When you said no one would miss you, you were wrong. I would miss you.”_ _ _ _

____Severus’ flinched at that sudden display of affection. He wasn’t used to it. He didn’t know what to make of it. He wanted to make a sharp reply, but as he opened his mouth to speak, he couldn’t. He couldn’t be a bastard to Harry, not when the younger man looked so fragile and his heart was so exposed. Severus could break him so easily, and he didn’t want that. He felt an inexplicable urge to take Harry in his arms and protect him._ _ _ _

_____‘What’s happening to me?’ _Severus asked himself, and then to Harry, “Why would you miss me?”__ _ _ _ _

______“Because I… care for you. I know now that you’re not as cold as you want us to believe.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t assume that you know me, Potter!” Severus said, upset. He was cold. He was pure ice._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Harry smiled. “I’m just glad that you’re staying. You’ll just take NEWTs, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus nodded, unable to say anything after Harry’s words._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Who will teach the rest of the students?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t know, but rest assured that I’ll have to approve of whoever it is first.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry chuckled. “I bet. I think it’s hard to measure up to you. Well, I’m going now. Sorry if I was so...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You?” Severus suggested with a sneer._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry’s gaze burned him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes. Sorry if I was so... me. I just... Well...” Harry flushed and headed for the door quickly before he made a fool of himself even more._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Potter?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry turned clumsily and almost stumbled over the carpet. He tried to pretend that nothing had happened. Again, Severus was filled with an emotion that he couldn’t understand. He wanted to tell his students to bugger off so he could take Harry to his room and..._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What?” Harry asked, breaking his chain of thoughts._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Severus asked, trying to come back to earth._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry looked puzzled. Under Severus’ apprehensive eyes, he got closer and closer until their lips met. Severus was so astonished that his lips remained unmoved under Harry’s for a few seconds. When the shock passed, Severus slid his tongue inside Harry’s mouth, making both of them sigh with pleasure. The kiss lasted long enough for them to be out of breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why did you do that?” Severus asked against Harry’s mouth._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You said I was forgetting something,” Harry whispered, his eyes glittering._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I was referring to the timetable.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh.” Harry’s face turned a vivid shade of scarlet. “I... I thought...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus frowned. “That I wanted a goodbye kiss?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Er... Of course not!” Harry chuckled nervously. “I was just... playing... with you.” Harry headed for the door as if he had wings on his feet, and he almost stumbled again. Severus tried to help him steady himself. Harry moved away from his touch as if Severus was contagious. “I’m sorry! I...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Potter?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry looked at him, confused._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The timetable,” Severus reminded him softly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Right!” Harry took a piece of parchment from his pocket and handed it to Severus. Severus thought he heard Harry mutter something like ‘here it is, the bloody thing’, but he wasn’t sure._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry turned to leave once again, this time trying not to act so clumsily, and Severus held the urge to applaud._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Potter?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry stopped but didn’t turn around. “What?” he snapped._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll be waiting for you in my quarters tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry turned so fast that Severus was sure that he wouldn’t escape from falling this time. Curiously, Harry didn’t fall down. He did look quite stunned by Severus’ words, though. They stared at each other for a long time. Severus wished to read Harry’s eyes, but he couldn’t. Finally, Harry nodded and left._ _ _ _ _ _

______After his departure, Severus caught himself smiling without his usual bitterness for the first time in years._ _ _ _ _ _

______\----------------------_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry didn’t know what to do anymore to make his heartbeat normal again. He’d made such a fool of himself. He wouldn’t be able to look Snape in the eye for some time. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he gave Snape such a kiss. Snape would never ask him for a goodbye kiss. Only Harry would be stupid enough to do something like that. His only excuse was that he always lost his balance when Snape was around._ _ _ _ _ _

______Why did Snape have to be so complicated, anyway? Harry could never read his emotions. Even though Snape was moody all the time, Harry could glimpse his sadness sometimes, but that was all. He didn’t even know if Snape was touched by his concern with his health or not._ _ _ _ _ _

______However, he had invited Harry to his quarters that night. Perhaps that was his way of thanking Harry for worrying._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry’s eyes glittered at the perspective of spending another night with Snape. Even if he had been acting like a fool, he would go. He couldn’t be without Severus' embrace anymore. He felt strangely peaceful when he was sleeping with Snape. Those nights were helping him deal with his addiction to Soporiferum, the most powerful Sleeping draught there was._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry shook his head, demanding his mind to stop thinking about Snape so he could concentrate on the essays of his students._ _ _ _ _ _

______Someone knocked on his door insistently and Harry invited whoever it was to come in._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you have a minute?” asked Remus as he stopped in front of Harry’s desk._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry sighed. There was a time, especially in the beginning, that he had enjoyed having Remus’ company. Lately, he just felt annoyed by it. Every time they met, Remus gave him a lecture about how unsafe Soporiferum was. Harry was tired of it because he knew it wasn’t good for him. What did Remus want him to do about it? It wasn’t as if Harry could just stop using it. He was trying. Wasn’t that enough?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“If you came here to talk to me about my problem, as you refer to, I have some news for you. I haven’t drunk it in two weeks.” Remus’ eyes shimmered in approval, but Harry added, “Well, sort of. I drank it on Saturday, Monday and… yesterday.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“At least you’re trying,” Remus said understandingly. “That’s good, Harry. That thing is not good for your health. And I don’t even like to think about the place you’re getting it. You know Knockturn Alley is the most horrible place in the world to get things and…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know,” Harry cut him off before he got too upset. “That’s why I’m trying to quit.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“How did you do it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you mean?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“How did you find the strength to stop?” Remus asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry stared at Remus, and he saw only kindness in his eyes, resembling nothing of the irritating Remus that had been yelling at him for the sake of his safety. It wasn’t as if Harry didn’t see his point. Remus should try to see Harry’s point of view for a change, though._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m seeing someone,” Harry confessed quietly. “He’s the one helping me. He doesn’t know that, but he is.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh. That’s good,” Remus said smiling. “Who is he? Do I know him?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry licked his dry lips. “Er… Actually, he’s…” Harry could see that Remus looked very curious about it, but he had promised Snape that he wouldn’t let anyone know. He didn’t want to lie to Remus, yet he couldn't exactly tell Remus the truth. “He’s not ready to come out of the closet yet.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Remus frowned. “Do you think it’s wise to be with someone who doesn’t know what he wants?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t start, Remus! You’re not my father,” Harry said crossly. He saw the hurt in Remus’ eyes, and he berated himself for behaving like a bastard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know I’m not your father or your godfather,” Remus said quietly. “But I care for you all the same.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry swallowed hard. It was as if there was a lump in his throat. “I know. I just… I know how to take care of myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you?” Remus shot him one of his wiser looks. “Are you happy at least?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______In a weird sort of way, Harry thought, he was happy. Wasn’t he?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I hope to meet him soon.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry smiled. No matter how angry he was with Remus for meddling in his life all the time, he was glad that Remus didn’t treat him any differently just because The Daily Prophet had once written a very stupid article about how The-Boy-Who-Lived had become The-Boy-Who-Liked-Boys. Harry’s closest friends had been ok with it, but most of his colleagues had stopped talking to him. Not that he cared. He was used to that. All his life he’d been treated differently anyway. One minute he was loved, and the next he was the most hated person in the world._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I hope so, too,” Harry said with a fake smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______\----------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I was wondering...”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus looked up from his desk and stared at Harry, who was spread on his couch playing with a Snitch. He had to admit that Harry was surprisingly patient that night. Not once had he complained about having to wait until Severus corrected all of his students’ essays. Perhaps he was becoming mature after all._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why did you tell me to come if you had so many things to do? I’m getting bored...” said Harry._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus scowled. So much for patience, then. He shook his head. Potter was hopeless._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I have to finish this tonight, Potter. If you’re so desperate to have sex, find someone of your own age that can keep up with you,” Severus replied coldly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry snorted. “I didn’t mean it like that. Besides, you can keep up with me all right. I think I’m the one who can’t keep up with your lust sometimes,” Harry said playfully._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus flushed, and he didn’t know if it was from shyness or anger. “Have some respect, Potter!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry chuckled softly, and Severus paused to watch him, dazzled. He had to admit that Harry was even cuter when he laughed like that. His eyes sparkled brightly like two green emeralds, beautiful and hypnotic, and... And once again, Severus was losing his mind, drifting away like a teenager. He blamed exhaustion for making his rationality go out the window and give full space to total stupidity, like admiring Potter’s features while making mediocre poetry about them. He swore under his breath. Potter, the brat, was too distracting. Severus should have told him to go away, but every time his eyes met Harry’s, he forgot what he wanted to say in the first place._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m sorry,” said Harry, and Severus could tell that he wasn’t sorry at all._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t you have something to do?” Severus asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Actually, I do. Or did.” Harry shrugged, tossing the Snitch in the air and catching it. “I was supposed to have dancing lessons with Neville, but I hate dancing, so... I didn’t go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus stopped pretending he was reading the essay in front of him and focused on Harry. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Didn’t I tell you?” Harry sat down. “Neville is going to marry Ginny at the end of the year, so he asked me and Ron to be his best men. The thing is, he wants me to dance with my companion, but I really suck at it so he told me to learn instead of making a fool of myself. But I’m not really in the mood for dancing lessons. What’s the big deal anyway? He was as clumsy as I was! Just because he improved a little, now he wants all of us to do the same! Preposterous, don’t you think? Ron agrees with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus felt his face twitch, and he realised, perplexed, that he wanted to laugh. Harry had such an adorable look of indignation on his face that Severus caught himself filled with a variety of emotions he couldn’t understand – or didn’t want to._ _ _ _ _ _

______He remembered the few times Harry had danced, and Severus knew it was the funniest thing to watch._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you smiling?” Harry asked, stunned._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry was forever in doubt about the answer to his question. Severus quickly wiped away any traces of emotion he had on his face and refused to talk about it. Harry insisted until Severus exploded and told him to shut up, or he would throw him out._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why do you have to be so moody?” Harry complained._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Comes with the territory,” Severus sneered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, I’m sure it does. Yours must have been terrible. I remember some of your childhood memories… There was always a man yelling and a woman crying. There was also a very scared child screaming for them to stop, and the man would just…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“ENOUGH!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“… beat him up,” Harry finished quietly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry could see he had touched a painful nerve. He had never seen Snape so shaken. He knew he was playing with fire. Still, he got up from the couch and stopped behind Snape, placing his hand gently on the Potions Master’s shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, you’re not.” Severus stood up violently, knocking his chair on to the floor. “I already told you not to bring my past up!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“But I want to know you!” Harry said bravely. “I want to know what happened in your life to make you so icy and incapable of feeling. I want to know why you have this wall around your heart!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I said it was enough!” Severus roared. “Sleeping in my bed gives you no right to meddle in my personal life! If you insist on this, we’ll call our deal off right now.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry’s eyes shimmered with a mute challenge, but in the end, he looked down, defeated._ _ _ _ _ _

______For the first time in years, Severus felt like he should apologise to Harry. He didn’t do it, of course. He had a reputation to watch over. He wouldn't even know how to apologise to someone. His whole life had been a series of cruel lessons that had toughened him up for good. Harry, however, looked so hurt that Severus wished he could be different. He wished he could be good and understanding. He wished he could be able to talk like a normal person about his horrible past. But it was still a difficult topic for him, even after so many years._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry was suddenly very aware that it was impossible to reach Severus’ heart. He wanted to, but he wasn’t up to the task. Not yet. He had never been good at relationships. When he first came out, he thought he wouldn’t have as many problems with guys as he had with girls. In his mind, guys weren’t as complicated as girls. He was so wrong. It wasn’t the gender that made things difficult. It was just how human beings worked._ _ _ _ _ _

______He walked to the door tiredly, thinking that his night was ruined. Suddenly, he felt Snape’s hand taking his elbow._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Where do you think you’re going?” Severus asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I thought I should leave you alone. Clearly, you don’t want me here.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry didn’t look hurt anymore but rather irritated. Severus knew pretty well that spark of hate in the green eyes. He’d confronted it many times before in the past. Somehow, it made him feel sad. He didn’t want Harry to look at him like that ever again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If I asked you about your life with the Dursleys, wouldn’t you be upset?” Severus asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I would, but not with you. I don’t like to talk about them, but I wouldn’t mind telling you about it. After all l…” Harry stopped abruptly, his face reddening like a ripe tomato._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You what?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s not important.” Harry tried to get out of the room again, but Severus didn’t let him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I didn’t ask you to leave.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You didn’t ask me to stay, either.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re an insolent brat.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And you’re a greasy git! Well, ex-greasy git actually, but still a git…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______And before Harry knew it, Severus had him flat against the wall with a kiss that made him weak in the knees._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re a strange man,” Harry whispered against Severus' lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus knew that. He knew there were many things wrong about him, and he couldn’t understand why Harry liked to spend his nights with him – an ex-greasy git as he said himself – instead of having fun with boys of his own age. That knowledge made him even more distrustful than usual. Why did Harry want to be with him when he could choose someone good-looking, someone sexier, someone better?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus should have let him go. He should have told Harry, right then and there, that he was a lonely man and he liked being that way. It was a lie, but it would help him get rid of Harry. But he was shocked to realise that he didn’t want Harry out of his life. He was selfish like that. If Harry was willing to spend his nights with Severus, who was he to deny the boy of what they both wanted?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“If you go, you’ll miss a dancing lesson,” Severus let it out, uncomfortable._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry’s eyes opened wide. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“If you stay, I’ll teach you how to dance so you won’t make a fool of yourself at Longbottom’s wedding.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You?” Harry looked at him doubtfully._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, Potter, me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You?” Harry repeated, bewildered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“On top of everything else, you’re also deaf?” Severus said, annoyed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s just… I didn’t expect you to… Do you know how to dance?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t act so shocked! You’ve seen me dancing before, Potter!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry made a face. “Now that I think about it, you weren’t so bad. I remember the Yule Ball and another one that you danced with Minerva. But other than that…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You call her Minerva?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I could call you Severus if you let me. I call almost all the teachers by their first names.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus raised an eyebrow, and he pondered for a second if it was wise to let Harry call him Severus. He liked the sound of his first name on Harry’s lips that was for sure. He liked it even more when Harry called him Sev during sex with that trembling voice lost in desire. Severus sighed. He was doomed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You can call me Severus if you want to,” Severus said as if it wasn’t a big deal._ _ _ _ _ _

______Harry’s eyes seemed to pop out of his face. He was so surprised. “Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You can call me Harry, then.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Severus almost laughed uneasily. “I will if I feel like it.” Harry opened his mouth to reply angrily, but Severus was faster, “Do you want me to teach you how to dance or not?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes!” Harry exclaimed excitedly._ _ _ _ _ _

_______‘Damn, he’s cute,’ _Severus thought, upset.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How do you know how to dance anyway? Your social skills are worse than mine!” Harry asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus felt bothered by that, not because Harry had insulted him, but because his question brought back a lot of painful memories. He gave his back to Harry and answered in a quiet voice, “Your mother taught me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My mother?” Harry stopped breathing for a second._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes. Your mother, the typical Gryffindor, took pity on me when I was humiliated by your father and his crew after a Ball, so she decided to teach me. She was… kind. Your mother was like that with everybody, it didn’t matter how screwed up you were.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry was taken aback by the sudden confession. “Did you… were you…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“She was a friend,” Severus said when he realised what Harry was getting at. “That was all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Why did you–”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Enough, Potter,” Severus warned him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry obeyed him submissively. He figured that indeed, Severus had surprised him enough for a day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Come here,” Severus called him quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With his heart almost coming out of his mouth, Harry approached him. Severus enlaced his waist and brought him closer, making Harry sigh with pleasure. While he gave Harry some instructions, Harry asked him if they would dance without any music._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Use your imagination, Potter.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So Harry did. As he felt Severus’ hands softly stroking his waist as they moved, he was surrounded by a soft tune that followed their steps perfectly. He actually thought, for a moment, that he was hearing a very foolish love song playing somewhere. He sighed in delight, his body turning into jelly. He laid his head on Severus’ shoulder, hoping that they could be like that forever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was the first time he actually felt close to Severus. It was the first time he could feel Severus all around him, and he loved every minute. It just felt right to be in his arms, cuddled, protected._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry looked up and met Severus’ eyes shimmering with something he couldn’t identify, but that warmed him inside. Severus stroked his face with one hand, seeming to be in a world of his own. He captured Harry’s lips in a gentle kiss while they kept moving. Harry’s head was spinning so fast he thought he would fall if Severus stopped holding him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________There was the song again. It made its way into Harry’s heart and stayed there while they kissed heatedly. He wondered if he was going deliciously insane._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you hearing this?” Harry asked after they broke the kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?” Severus said in a throaty voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“This music… Are you hearing it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I… think so. I’m not sure.” Severus tried, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything other than Harry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry smiled. “I’m going crazy, then.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Who cares?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Still dancing to an illusionary song, Severus led Harry to his room. Harry surrendered to his touch willingly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That night, their love-making was passionate but also tender, so tender that it brought tears to Harry's eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________\---------------------------_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Dancing with Harry had been heaven and hell all at the same time. Severus felt butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t remember feeling like that before at all. He looked at himself in the mirror and he was shocked to see how relaxed he looked. He tried to put on his daily façade again, the one that had saved him many times before, but he couldn’t. Harry Potter was imprinted in his mind. Every time Severus closed his eyes, he saw Harry's body moving against his, teasing him, giggling that stupid giggle of his that drove Severus crazy and also made him hard as a rock. Their bodies fit one another like a glove. That night was different from all others. While it was still passionate, it was also sweet and loving. Their kisses had been much softer as Severus moved inside Harry. And the way Harry kept whimpering 'Sev, Sev' as he finally cummed all over Severus' stomach as Severus pounded against him in search of his own relief was just blissful. Severus came immediately afterwards feeling like his heart was being ripped apart. In the end, what truly broke Severus was Harry's tears. Severus had been terrified at seeing Harry crying. In fact, Severus only felt a little less distressed when Harry assured him that he was alright, that it had just been too intense. Severus was at a loss for words after that. He just held Harry in his arms until the boy finally fell asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now Severus was hiding in the bathroom like a coward, thinking about how that whole night had been intense not just for Harry, but for him as well. They hadn't just had sex that night. They had made love._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was a disaster. He felt his hands shaking. Did he really…? No, it was impossible. He couldn’t feel that way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was Potter. He didn’t exactly hate him as everyone thought he did, but…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He had never felt that way before, for anyone. It was so shocking he didn't know what to do. He felt a pang in his heart, but somehow it was a nice kind of affliction. He also felt warm and pleased. He wouldn’t shout that he had found happiness out of the blue, but it was close enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________To have Harry in his arms like that was an image that would be imprinted in his soul forever. He hated to be so sappy, but that was how he felt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Who would have thought that his heart could still beat like that? He even looked younger. The wrinkles on his forehead were magically gone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He wasn’t happy. But he was feeling great. At the same time, he was feeling miserable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________What was that?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________‘It’s love, you old fool,’ his reflection told him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With a deep sigh, he finally turned off the lights of the bathroom and went back to bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“NO! Please no! Not again. Don’t do this to me again!” he heard Harry shout._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________In an instant, he was near Harry. Harry was tossing and turning between the sheets, and he looked like he was in a panic. He was also babbling things about Sirius Black._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Harry? Harry, wake up!” Severus said, slapping Harry gently on the face. “It’s only a nightmare!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No... Come back! I need to get in... I have to... SIRIUS!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus cursed under his breath, took out his wand and pointed at Harry. A blue light shot from his wand hitting Harry's forehead. Harry’s eyes flew open, but they looked empty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Harry?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry looked at Severus as if he was seeing through him. “What? Where am I?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You’re in my bedroom.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Whose bedroom?” Harry asked, confused._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mine, Potter.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry’s eyes seemed to focus a little. “Snape?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus smirked, “What happened to Severus?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I… I don’t know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus sighed. Harry wasn’t making any sense. Clearly, he still hadn’t gotten over his nightmare._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just rest, Potter,” Severus said tiredly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you staying with me?” Harry whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus nodded. “I am. Don’t worry, everything is ok now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________If Harry weren't in a drowsy state, he would be stunned to see how gentle Severus was with him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry smiled sweetly, and he cuddled against Severus the moment the older man lay down next to him. Severus had a moment of panic before relaxing a little. It was strange to be held like that. Any displays of affection scared him quite a lot. Once again, he felt his hands trembling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What were you dreaming about?” he asked Harry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“The nightmare. What was it about?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I… I was in the Department of Mysteries again and… Sirius had just fallen under the veil. I was trying to get in, but Remus wouldn’t let me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry’s body trembled on top of him, and Severus held him tightly. As much as he hated Black, he knew how important he had been to Harry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Every time I try to get in, someone always stops me,” Harry muttered. “There’s this voice, though… It tells me to go after Sirius, to join him…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Really?” Severus didn’t like the sound of that at all. “Do you know whose voice it is?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus worried. “Whoever it is, don’t go into the veil.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I won’t. You’re here now. When you’re here, I know I don’t want to go anywhere.” Harry yawned. “I just… want to stay with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Harry fell asleep immediately after that. Severus thought Harry was still trembling, but he realised that he was the one shaking. His heartbeat quickened and his hands were sweating. In a spontaneous moment, he kissed Harry’s temple gently._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Sometimes you’re cute, Potter," he whispered softly before he fell asleep, too. "This nightmare of yours... it worries me."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Huh?" Harry mumbled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Shh, go back to sleep."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Severus took a long time to sleep that night. His thoughts were all in turmoil. While he stroked Harry's back, he wondered if that nightmare was just that, a bad dream, or if it was something else. If there was something that years of being a spy for the Order had taught him was that nothing in the wizarding world was simple, and everything related to Harry was not just a coincidence. The boy had been followed by misfortune his whole life. Severus hoped he was wrong and that those nightmares had nothing to do with any dark magic. Whether it was just a dream or something more sinister, though, Severus was determined to find out more about it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. Part 4

It took Severus a couple of days to decide whether he should talk to Lupin or not. He had tried to find out more about Harry’s nightmares without having to ask Lupin, but Harry was very good at hiding things from him. Besides, Harry didn’t even remember that he had talked to Severus the night he had that nightmare about Sirius. It could have just been a bad dream, but a strange voice convincing you to join a dead man was never a good thing. 

He didn’t want to ask Harry, because if he did, it would seem as if Severus cared. He did care. Harry didn’t need to know that, though.

Lupin wasn’t a good choice, either, but Severus had the impression that the werewolf knew what was going on. Because something was wrong; Severus could always tell. He always knew when Harry was in trouble. It was like Severus had a sixth sense when it came to Harry Potter. He didn’t know how he had acquired it, but it had been with him since the first time Harry had stepped onto Hogwarts’ grounds. 

It was annoying and quite unsettling, and yet, he couldn’t help feeling that way. 

So, against the voice in his head that told him to mind his own business, he entered Lupin’s office. 

“Severus?” Remus sounded curious. It wasn’t every day that Severus dropped by his office unless it was the full moon. 

Severus stared at him intensely. He hated when Lupin called him that. It seemed as if they were friends, not mortal enemies. Although Severus didn’t think about Lupin as much as he did before, it was hard to meet with him. Lupin’s presence was a constant reminder of a past he longed to forget. 

“I need to ask you something,” Severus said dryly, trying to dissipate the past from his mind. 

Remus raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“What’s going on with Potter? He’s in trouble, isn’t he?”

Silence. Severus could feel Lupin’s tension. He was right then. There was something going on. 

“Why?” Remus asked. 

“What’s with you Gryffindors; instead of answering a simple question, you always have to ask another one?”

Remus crossed his arms. “It isn’t a simple question, and I don’t know why Harry is any of your concern.”

Severus wished he could punch Lupin in the nose. How dare he talk to him like that? Harry was of Severus’ concern more than anyone else’s. He was the one who had watched out for Harry ever since his first year in Hogwarts. He was the one who had saved the stupid boy so many times. Had anyone bothered to thank him? No. While poor Remus Lupin had stayed out of most of Harry’s life, Severus had always been there for the boy. Maybe he was a little cold, and his methods weren’t exactly the ones of a typical hero, but he cared for Harry. He had the right to know what was going on with him, what mess he had gotten himself into. 

Severus smirked. “You forget that I was the one who protected him all these years.”

“Yeah, sure,” Remus replied coldly. “That was probably why Harry faced Voldemort at the age of eleven, and that was why he fought a Basilisk when he was twelve. Oh, and let’s not forget what you screwed up for him when you appeared like a madman in the Shrieking Shack when he was thirteen. Should I go on? I’ve got plenty of wonderful stories about how you’ve protected him all these years.”

Severus fumed. “I’ve tried my best to keep him out of trouble! It isn’t my fault that danger follows him everywhere! I have the feeling that he’s in trouble, which is why I’m here. Do you forget that I was the one who saved him after the last battle against The Dark Lord? Well, of course you don’t. It’s so bloody convenient for you! He doesn’t know anything, does he? You were the first person he saw next to him when he got out of the coma, and you were suddenly his hero.” Severus’ words were full of bitterness. “Remus Lupin, one of James’ best friends, the only one who could have watched out for Harry, and yet coward Remus Lupin decided to go away, to escape, to–”

“STOP IT! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Remus exclaimed, disturbed. “I spent my whole life worrying about Harry! I stayed away, yes, but only because I thought it was better that way. I couldn’t have stayed with him, Severus, and you know it!” 

“Do I?”

“YES!”

Severus knew it was true. Lupin was a werewolf. There was no way he could have taken care of a child. Even Dumbledore wouldn’t have allowed it. But Severus didn’t care about Remus' feelings; after all, sweet and loyal Remus Lupin had never cared about Severus’. 

“Besides, it was the Dursleys’ house that protected Harry. Why are you worried about him, anyway? Why are you so concerned?” Remus asked. 

“Because I haven’t wasted ten years of my life keeping him alive for him to screw up in the end!” Severus heard himself saying. 

Remus looked thunderstruck. “I didn’t know you cared about him that much.” 

Severus clutched his fists. He had promised not to lose his temper, but he could feel his blood boiling. He felt vexed with himself. He wasn’t emotional. He always kept himself together. And perhaps, if he repeated those words over and over, he’d convince himself that indeed, he was self-controlled. When it came to Harry Potter, Severus was never on his right mind.

“Just answer me, Lupin!” he shouted, his self-control going out the window. “If there’s something wrong, I have to know.”

Something in Severus’ voice might have done the trick, because curiously, Remus said, “I... I don’t know why you bother, but... Harry has done something crazy. He’s been very stupid and careless.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Severus sniggered.

Remus smiled feebly. “Yeah, but… I don’t know exactly what’s going on. I just found out recently, in one of my visits to Knockturn Alley, that he was a regular customer in Antoine’s potions store.” Severus felt a jolt in his stomach. As the information sunk in, Remus went on, “I confronted him, of course. Antoine is not a good person, and Knockturn Alley is the last place Harry should ever be. He got mad at me but I made him tell me what he was buying from Antoine.”

Severus was afraid to ask, but he had to. “What was it?”

“Soporiferum.”

“What in Merlin’s beard was he thinking?” Severus exploded. “Why…” He grimaced. “I see. It’s a stupid question, actually, but still… Why did he have to buy such a dangerous potion in a place like Antoine’s store? Doesn’t he know better than to shop in Knockturn Alley, for Merlin’s sake? How long has this imprudence been going on?”

“He said that he’s been drinking it for a year now.” Severus gasped, and Remus added quickly, “He acquired Antoine’s Soporiferum very recently. I think it’s been two months since he started drinking the one Antoine made for him. Before that, he used to steal it from Madam Pomfrey’s storage, and yours, but he felt bad about it, and the only way to get it was in Knockturn Alley.”

“He’s been stealing from me!?” Severus roared. “He’s such a… slimy... filthy... ” 

Severus wondered for a moment if Harry was sleeping with him just to get Soporiferum easily. It was such an awful thought that he felt his heartbeat stopping. But he knew it wasn’t like that. Harry would never do such a thing. His Gryffindor soul wouldn’t allow him, hence why he had gone to Knockturn Alley in search of it. 

“Severus,” Remus called him quietly. “Now that I told you this, I have the right to know why you’re worried about Harry. Did you notice anything different about him? Is the Sleeping draught affecting him in any way? I have to know. He told me he had stopped taking it and…”

“Did he?” Severus looked straight into Remus’ eyes. “When?”

“A few days ago. He told me he had met someone, and that this person was helping him.”

Severus’ eyes flickered. “Really? Did he say who it was?”

“No. He didn’t want to tell me. He said the person isn’t ready to come out yet.”

“He was referring to a lover?” Severus’ heart almost came out of his mouth. 

“Yes, I… guess so.” Remus looked at Severus in a weird way. “Aren’t you going to tell me why you’re here? I told you many things about him; things I said I would never tell anyone. It’s time for you to share what you know with me.”

Severus didn’t want to say anything. He just wanted to go to his room and think things over. It was too much for him to process all at once. First, he found out that Harry was buying a dangerous sleeping draught from a dangerous guy in Knockturn Alley. Then he discovered that Harry had once stolen Soporiferum from his storage. And to complete the whole mess, Harry had stopped drinking it because he had met someone that was helping him. Who was that someone? Was it Severus? And if it was, how exactly was he helping Harry?

“Severus…”

“Don’t call me that!” Severus snapped. 

Remus winced. “I have to know why you’re asking me about Harry.”

Severus sighed. “Did you know about his nightmares with Black?”

“Sort of. He did tell me a little about it.”

“What about the strange voice that keeps telling him to join Black in the veil?”

Remus’ eyes went wide open. “What are you saying?”

“It could be nothing, but now that I know about Soporiferum, I think the potion isn’t just for Harry’s insomnia but also to control him.”

“But…” Remus was confused. “How is that possible? And even if it was, going into the veil in a dream won’t kill Harry!”

“No. But the Dark Lord tricked Harry once so he’d go to the Ministry. It’s the same process.”

“You think Harry would go there?” Remus asked disbelievingly. 

“He might if he thinks Black is calling for him,” Severus said seriously. 

“Oh, my God. We need to do something!”

Severus smirked. “I will, of course. That’s my job, isn’t it? I’m the one who has to keep an eye on that fool so he won’t do stupid things. And you, Lupin, you should have told someone about it. You’ve always protected him the wrong way! He needs discipline, not just a pat on the back!”

“I didn’t know it was that bad. And I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want to drive him away by breaking his confidence in me.” Remus paused as if something had just occurred to him. “How do you know about Harry’s nightmares? How do you know about the voice he’s hearing in his dreams? It isn’t possible that he would tell something like this to you! He didn’t even tell me!”

“He also didn’t tell me, not exactly,” Snape grunted. “He still doesn’t know he did it. He was too sleepy.”

“But then… How… Why…?” 

The room went silent, and the truth struck Remus with the force of a Bludger. Severus noticed that Remus had just put two and two together. Remus was so flabbergasted that he didn’t know how to react at first. When things finally dawned on Remus, he punched Severus hard on the face. Severus could have avoided the punch if he wanted to. Deep down, though, he thought he deserved it. 

“BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU?” Remus shouted, enraged. 

Severus stroked the spot where Remus had hit him and sneered. He could deny it. He could tell Remus that he had a sick mind, that he would never lay a finger on Harry. But he didn’t want to. He wanted Remus to know, and he knew Harry wouldn’t mind him telling Remus, although he would berate Severus for letting Remus know about it in such a hideous way. 

“You’re… you’re the worst form of life there is!” Remus exclaimed, disgusted. “I can’t believe you would do something like this. He’s a kid!”

“A kid? Well, he behaves like one sometimes, but other than those lapses, he’s quite grown up. He’s twenty-three, Lupin, so drop it!”

“You… You’re the one Harry told me about. You’re his…”

“Lover.” 

Remus tried to hit him again, but this time Severus was more prepared. He figured that Remus had the right to punch him the first time, but not anymore. 

“How could you?” Remus said between his teeth.

“I don’t think I need to explain it to you, do I?” Severus sniggered. 

“You’re taking advantage of him! There’s no way he would be with you if you weren’t doing something nasty to him!” Remus said viciously. 

“He knows what he’s doing. In fact, he was the one who started it! Your precious boy seduced me.”

“You’re lying!” 

“Get real! It doesn’t matter what people think of me, I’d never do anything to him that he didn’t want me to. He’s not a child. He’s quite mature, actually. He even surprises me sometimes.”

“Why did you do this? Did you want to hurt me?” Remus asked as if he hadn’t listened to a word that Severus said. “Is it your way of revenge? I knew you hated me, but not this much; not enough to use Harry to hurt me.”

“It has nothing to do with you!” Severus said, outraged. 

“I don’t believe you!”

“Well, guess what? I don’t care.” Severus gave his back to him and headed for the door.

“I will tell Dumbledore! You’ll be sacked!” 

Severus flinched a little, but he didn’t let it show. That was precisely what he feared, but he wouldn’t give Remus the pleasure of seeing him nervous. Losing Dumbledore’s esteem would be horrible, but Severus would survive. Besides, Harry wasn’t a student anymore. Even if Dumbledore stopped talking to him, or berated him in any way, there was nothing else the Headmaster could do against him. But the truth was that Severus didn’t care anymore. 

“I’ll tell Harry,” Remus went on mercilessly. “I’ll tell him everything about us.”

Severus turned around instantly. Remus’ words had triggered his uncontrollable fury. He took Remus by the collar and suspended him until their eyes were at the same level. 

“You won’t tell him anything, because nothing ever happened between us!” Severus bellowed. 

Remus trembled a little but didn’t look away. “Oh, yes, dear Severus, it did happen. It’s undeniable. We were boyfriends, remember? We kissed, we shagged…”

Severus let go of Remus’ shirt, sickened. “And you betrayed me in the lowest way there was.”

“I didn’t… it wasn’t like that! And I can’t believe you’re using Harry just to punish me.”

“I would never–”

“Harry!”

Severus followed Remus’ horrified gaze to the door, and he was paralysed to see Harry standing there with a lost expression on his face. Harry fled from the room immediately. Remus shouted his name and tried to go after him, but Severus didn’t let him.

“Let go of me!” Remus demanded. 

Severus shook his head. He was terrified on the inside, but on the outside, he looked as cool as ever. “Leave him. I’ll go after him in a minute.”

“He might do something stupid!”

“He’s not that dramatic, and I’m not that important to him,” Severus said, although he wasn’t sure. “I’ll talk to him.”

Remus looked at Severus strangely. “I should be the one to talk to him.”

“No. Let me deal with this my way.”

“Your way?”

“Precisely. I’m sure the scene between the two of you would be very touching, tearful and horribly emotional. He needs something else, though.”

“And what’s that?” Remus asked, angrily.

“Me.” 

“This is ridiculous!” 

“Is it?”

Remus noticed that Severus looked suddenly very tired, and he wondered if he was wrong about his intentions with Harry. “How do you really feel about him?” Remus asked. “Tell me the truth, Severus, because Harry is all I’ve got left.” 

Severus’ heart beat faster. “I care about him. That’s enough.”

\---------------------

“I’ll tell Harry. I’ll tell him everything about us.”

Those words were haunting Harry. When he decided to drop by Remus’ office for some suggestions about his classes, the last thing he expected was to hear a private discussion. And he didn’t expect at all to discover in such a way that Remus and Severus were lovers. 

He sat by the window and looked at the sky, his eyes lost somewhere else.

“I’ll tell him everything about us.”

He shook his head, trying to get rid of that awful memory. He couldn’t remember much after that. His vision had become blurry. He had been torn between unstoppable anger and infinite sadness. He didn’t even know how he had gotten to his room in the first place. All he knew was that he wasn’t the only one in Snape’s life and that hurt. He was just one of his toys. But that fact didn’t hurt him as much as the knowledge that Remus was the other one. 

He shut his eyes tightly to prevent his tears of rage from falling. He wouldn’t cry. It was a stupid reason to cry, anyway. It was just another heartbreak. No one was immune to that; no one could escape from it. He’d had his share of heartbreaks in the past. But then again, they didn’t hurt the way it was hurting now. There was a deep pain in his heart like there was a knife twitching there mercilessly. He could hardly breathe. 

He should stop being so dramatic. Perhaps Severus wasn’t with Remus anymore. 

“We were boyfriends, remember?”

Was that what Remus had said next? Was Remus just a part of Severus’ past, just another one he wanted to forget, to bury away? If that was true, then Harry had no right to be mad at Severus. What happened between them had stayed in the past. They weren’t lovers anymore. Or were they? 

He should have stayed there and demanded some explanations. He wiped a stubborn tear away. 

“Oh, please, stop being such a drama queen!” 

Harry opened his eyes wide and turned immediately to find Snape right behind him, his arms crossed, looking very angry. Harry wondered how Snape had gotten in without him noticing his entry. The door was closed, wasn’t it? How dare he enter his room without knocking? And why was Snape angry? It was Harry who had the right to be pissed off, not him.

“What are you doing here?”

Severus shrugged. “I thought it was time for me to come.”

“It isn’t! I don’t want you here. Get out!” Harry shouted furiously. 

Severus frowned, which infuriated Harry even more. He hated that coolness. 

“All of this anger because you found out about one of the biggest mistakes of my past?” Severus asked him. 

Harry smirked. “I thought I was your biggest mistake.”

“Yes, you are. But you’re in my present. Lupin is in the past.”

“So you were... Did you love him? Do you still love him?” Harry fired off. “Is he your lover or do you want him again? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Severus scowled, annoyed. “Because it doesn’t concern you! I told you my past was a forbidden subject. You don’t need to know about it.”

“It’s too late for that! I already heard it!”

“Well, yes. As usual, you were eavesdropping!”

“I wasn’t!” Harry objected. “I just wanted to talk to Remus. It was totally by accident!”

“Was it?”

“Hey, I’m not the one who’s been fooling around, all right?”

“Fooling around?” Severus grimaced. “That’s not my style, Potter. It might be yours, but–”

“I never cheated on you!” Harry cut him off. “And you! You’re a bloody liar!”

Severus looked at him surprised. “Liar?”

“Yes! You said there was no one in your life but me!”

“There is only you!” Severus said, upset. “I don’t owe you any explanations, Potter, but here they are! A long time ago, while I was a student, I made the mistake of letting myself get entranced by Lupin’s charms. He was shy, very small, very...” Severus made a gesture with his hands like it didn’t matter anymore. “Anyway, we had to complete an assignment together once, and we discovered some similarities.”

“What kind of similarities?” Harry asked, surprised.

“It doesn’t matter! Do you want to hear the story or not?” Harry went silent, and Severus went on, “I didn’t like him, but somehow we became... close. Until one day we kissed, and for a while, we were... lovers.” There was a pause. Severus’ eyes seemed to be lost in his memories, and Harry felt insanely jealous. “It didn’t work out. Black got in our way. He sent me to the Shack and... You know the rest.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t?” Severus smirked. “I thought you were smarter than that. Can’t you see what happened? Lupin and Black were lovers. They fought. I think Black was in denial. He was a stud at the time, very heterossexual. Very homophobic. But surprise, surprise. He and Lupin were definitely together. Lupin used me to get to him. Once Black found out about us, things backfired, and he sent me to the Shack so I could see what Lupin really was. He was angry at Lupin and at me; enough to have Lupin kill me. Your godfather was a very twisted man.”

“Don’t say anything bad about Sirius, because I won’t tolerate that!” Harry bellowed. 

“Your godfather was a mental cas–”

“STOP! Don’t say anything. I don’t believe you.”

“What?” Severus was shocked.

“Remus wouldn’t have used you in such a dreadful way. He isn’t like that. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t like you! He probably still does.”

Severus snorted. “Don’t be stupid, Potter. Lupin never liked me.”

“How do you know? You probably misunderstood everything.”

“I can’t believe you’re defending him!”

Harry couldn’t help it. He was mad at Remus, but he knew him. Remus wasn’t that kind of person. It wasn’t like him to be cruel, to plot something like that. 

But if Remus still liked Severus, and Severus liked him, then Harry was in their way. They had been in love in the past, they had a history together. Remus was probably Severus’ first lover. How could Harry compete with that? He turned his back to Severus, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. 

“Are you crying?” Severus asked, upset.

“No!” Harry exclaimed, quickly wiping his tears away. 

“Well, good! Because we still have a lot to talk about! Since we cleared out the incident with Lupin, and you, as the typical Gryffindor, took his side...”

“Do you love him?” Harry asked in a whisper.

Severus knew he didn’t have to answer, but somehow he heard himself saying, “No, I don’t love him. I never did, and he doesn’t love me, either.”

Harry should have been happy to hear that, but he wasn’t. He still needed to hear the same thing from Remus in order to soothe his heart.

“Look at me,” Severus ordered, getting closer to Harry. He raised Harry’s chin and muttered bitterly, “I won’t lie to you. For a tiny little moment in my past, I thought I loved him, but as I grew older and wiser, I realised it was nothing but a teenager’s crush. I got over it. I even forgave Lupin for it, if you must know. I prepare his bloody potions, for Merlin's sake. I wouldn't do that if I still held such a grudge against him. I don’t care anymore. It’s just... Well... Lupin still reminds me of how stupid I was for believing in...”

“Love?”

Severus sighed. “Yes.”

Harry took Severus’ hand and gripped it. “I’m sorry. Now I know why you and Sirius hated each other that much.”

“Lupin was just one of the reasons. Black and I hated each other mostly because of your father.”

Harry frowned. “Please don’t tell me that my father was in love with any of you! I don’t think I can take it.”

Severus shook his head, almost chuckling at the idea. “No, it wasn’t like that. Black was your father’s best friend, so, obviously, he would take James’ side. Your father loved your mother. We just... didn’t like each other. And it didn’t help the fact that Lily defended me all the time, even when I was rude to her. Like I said, your mother was like that. And she also loved your father. He was jealous, and he was defending her in a way.”

Harry sighed in relief. “It’s good to know that at least that part of my parents’ life is true. When I saw what he did to you, I was so disappointed with him. I spent my whole life believing he was noble. It made me very proud that people kept comparing me to him. But after what I saw in your memories... I felt so lost. I didn’t know who I was anymore. You kept telling me I was just like him, and that made me so angry and sad. So I began wondering if I really was like him, if I was that spiteful, and I hated myself, just as much as I hated him.” Harry didn’t notice the tears falling down his cheeks, but Severus did. “I hated him. I didn’t want to hate him, but I did.”

Severus’ heart melted instantly at the sight of those tears. Sighing, he took Harry in his arms and cuddled him while Harry cried his heart out against his chest. He felt guilty. He was to blame for that. But since his heart had been numb until not so long ago, he’d never noticed how much harm he had done to Harry because of his comments full of bitterness about James Potter. James had been Harry’s hero, and Severus had destroyed that image. Because Severus had hated his own father so much, he had forgotten that not everyone was like that. He had no right to do what he did to Harry, to destroy the good image Harry had of James Potter. James may have been awful to Severus, but he had been a loving father.

“Your father... was a good man,” Severus said with difficulty. Harry looked into his eyes, and Severus cupped his face, wiping his tears away. “He was... a stupid boy, but a good man. Hell, I was a brat, too. I didn’t make things easier for him to like me. And I was misguided, so... The thing is... You shouldn’t hate your father. He was all right, for a Gryffindor.” Harry’s eyes shimmered, his green eyes dazzling Severus for a moment. “And you... even though you look like him, you’re Harry Potter, not James. You have a light of your own. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. You do some stupid things sometimes, but you’re... great... and kind... and...”

Harry was shocked. The last thing he expected was for Severus to actually comfort him. Severus seemed so annoyed at himself that Harry felt like chuckling. It wasn't easy for Severus to tell Harry those things, to say nice things about him - and James Potter of all people - for a change.

“Thanks,” Harry whispered. 

Severus shrugged. “Just don’t cry again. I’ll say anything to shut you up.”

Harry’s eyes flickered. “Why do you always have to ruin everything? Why can't you just be nice? You’re such a bastard.”

“And you’re too delicate.”

Harry breathed hard. “Don’t start.”

“Actually, we’re just beginning, Potter, because now that you've stopped whining, you’ll have to explain to me why in Merlin’s name you were buying Soporiferum from Antoine in Knockturn Alley!”

Harry’s eyes opened widely, and he swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me! Haven’t I told you enough about me today? It’s time for some repayment. Don’t insult my intelligence, because Lupin told me everything already. That was why I was in his office. I heard you talking in your sleep, and I felt that something was wrong. I was right. You’ve been taking Soporiferum without any supervision! And worse, you stole it from my storage, too!”

Harry tried to put some distance between them in order to think of something really fast, but Severus gripped him by his arms. 

“SAY SOMETHING!” Severus shouted, his usual anger back again. “If you don’t say anything, I’ll use Truth Serum on you.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

Harry trembled in Severus’ arms, and Severus almost felt pity for him. Almost. 

“I... I n-needed it. I didn’t exactly steal from you. I was just borrowing it.”

Severus shook him. “If only you had kept borrowing from me, then. But you had to go to Antoine’s store! What were you thinking? That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done! Don’t you know how dangerous it is? Do you even remember what you told me when you were sleeping? You told me there was a voice in your head telling you to join Black!” Harry stopped breathing, and Severus let go of him, tired. “Soporiferum isn’t dangerous if taken with moderation. You’ve been drinking it for how long exactly? A year?” Harry nodded. “Ok. We can stop it. We’ll substitute it with another one until you don’t need it anymore. You’re too young to need a sleeping draught every night!”

“What did you want me to do?” Harry asked, looking down. “I couldn’t take those nightmares anymore.”

“What about your therapy? You told Dumbledore it was working!”

Harry was surprised. “You know about that?”

“Yes. I know about a lot of things. So, what about therapy?”

Harry sighed. “It helps, but to a certain point. I stopped telling him about the nightmares because... Well, it’s so ridiculous that I still have them even after so long.” Harry’s eyes filled up with tears again. “I don’t know why I have them. I should be over it by now. Even my last fight with Voldemort didn’t affect me this much. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Don’t you dare cry again.”

“Fuck you!” Harry’s eyes had darkened, and his fury burned Severus. “Why do you care, anyway?”

“Because we didn’t get you this far for you to die in such a stupid way!”

“We?”

“Yes! Dumbledore, Minerva, your friends, me, everyone that protected you for all these years! Do you think I’ll let you ruin your life like this? I still can’t believe you went to Knockturn Alley to buy a sleeping draught from a person who wants to see you dead! Do you have a death wish or something?”

“Maybe I do.”

“Don’t say that! Even as a joke!”

“Why not? I’m nothing to you, anyway! I know nothing about you! I didn’t even know about you and Remus! Why should I tell you about my life? You keep telling me your life is none of my business. Well, my life is none of yours! We are just fuck buddies! So just leave me alone!”

“I will if that’s what you want. But first, tell me you’ll stop going to that awful place! You have no idea what Antoine can do to you. He was one of Voldemort’s followers, the one that got away for lack of evidence. He must have added something in your sleeping draught to disturb you.”

“I only have nightmares when I don’t drink the potion!”

“So what? Its effects last longer.”

“It doesn’t make sense.” 

“Would you rather believe in someone like Antoine instead of me?” Severus asked, aghast. 

“I don’t know. I... I’m confused.”

Severus breathed hard. “Just give me the damn thing and I’ll analyse it.”

“But... I still need it.”

Severus shot him a murderous look. “Give it to me, Potter!”

“I can’t!”

“Oh, yes, you can.” Severus took his wand out of his pocket and said, “Accio Soporiferum!”

A vial flew to Severus’ hand, and Harry tried to snatch it back. Severus was stunned. 

“Give it back!” Harry demanded.

Severus smirked. “You look pathetic, Potter. Just like a typical drug addict.”

Harry tried to punch Severus. They fought, and the vial fell to the floor and broke. When Severus looked at Harry, he was shocked to see how devastated the boy looked. Harry’s body shook violently, and Severus held him before he could fall to his knees. 

“Jesus, Potter! You’re a lot worse than I thought. I’ll kill Antoine for this.”

Silent tears fell down Harry’s cheek, and Severus cuddled him, sitting on the bed and making Harry sit on his lap.

“Snap out of it, Potter,” Severus said, surprisingly tender. 

Harry hid his head in Severus’ shoulder as he cried silently, and Severus sighed, worn out. There had been too many confrontations and confessions for one day. They needed some time out. He rocked Harry’s body tenderly, annoyed with the fact that he looked more like a father than a lover. 

One thing he knew for sure. He would make Antoine’s life a living hell.

“I’m sorry,” he heard Harry muffled voice saying. “I’m weak. I don’t want to be, but I am.”

Severus snorted. “You’re not weak. You’ve just been through a lot. Considering everything, you actually have the right to a nervous breakdown. Just don’t make this a habit!”

“I won’t. I’m sorry for acting so crazy.”

Severus sneered. “You call that crazy? You haven’t seen me on a bad day.”

“Actually, I have,” Harry muttered. "Many times."

Severus scowled. “Oh, right. You have.”

“Sorry about that, too.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry! You’re annoying me!” Severus berated. “Look at me.” Harry raised his head. “You were careless, but we’ll fix it.”

“You’ll help me?” Harry was stunned.

“Yes.” Severus didn’t want to look like a mushy person, so he added, “Dumbledore would kill me if I didn’t.”

Harry frowned. “You’ll help me just because of Dumbledore?”

“What else?”

Harry sighed. “You don’t care about me, then?”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. You know I do. If even, as you put it, I'm just your fuck buddy.” Harry was so surprised that he stopped breathing. “I wouldn’t stand all this drama if I didn’t care, Potter.” Severus looked deeply into Harry’s eyes and went on, “Lupin said someone is helping you. He said you’re trying to stop taking Soporiferum because of that person.” Severus licked his lips and asked, “Who is it?” 

Harry tensed in his arms but didn’t look away. “It’s you.”

Even though Severus had his suspicions, he wasn’t prepared to hear that. It was very strange to be needed like that. No one had ever needed him for anything. But Harry did because Severus helped him. He gulped, not sure of what to say. An indistinct emotion crossed his eyes. 

“I don’t expect you to–” Harry began to say, but Severus put a finger on his lips to stop him. 

They stared at each other for a long time. Their lips closed the distance between them and sealed it with a kiss. That was all Harry needed: a soft, reassuring kiss saying that everything would be all right. They lay down in bed, Harry with his head on Severus’ chest. Severus didn’t freak out by their closeness this time. He was getting used to having Harry so close to him.

“Is Remus angry with me because he found out about us?” Harry asked after a while.

“No. He’s angry with me. He thinks I’m taking advantage of you.”

“That’s not true!”

“He’s right about other things, though,” Severus said thoughtfully. “I am too old for you.”

“Don’t start.”

Severus didn’t, but for the rest of the night, he thought about it. He couldn’t help it. After all, Lupin was right. 

He was too old and too bitter. He didn't deserve love. Still, now that he had Harry in his arms, he also didn't want to let go.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steam up ahead.

He was dreaming. It was the only reasonable explanation for those wonderful sensations running up and down his body. He felt light kisses on his skin, bites on his neck, a wet tongue inside his mouth searching for his, a lick on his shoulder, then nipples, and gentle bites on both of them. Harry moaned in delight as the soft kisses passed down his navel and landed on his stiff dripping cock. 

His full-length was engulfed by a wet, eager mouth, and he threw his head back in ecstasy as he felt a tongue swirling around his erection. His eyelashes opened up slightly, enough to see Severus lost in his own pleasure just like he was. He moaned again, the excitement filling him up, making him hot and trembling. His body was going to catch on fire. 

The wet tongue went even further, and Harry’s eyes flew open with surprise and pleasure. A finger joined the scene, and then another one, making their naughty way into Harry. He whimpered softly, begging for more. Severus knew Harry’s body so well. Severus knew exactly how to make him go wild. Harry moaned loudly every time he touched a spot just above his thighs. However, nothing made Harry’s body shiver as much as when Severus bit him just below his right earlobe. 

Severus’ strong hands stroked him, making faster movements on his erection. Harry whimpered and his body convulsed with indescribable pleasure. 

“Sev…” he moaned. “I want you…”

Severus rested his forehead on Harry’s. Their eyes locked. 

“What do you want?” Severus asked in a whisper.

“You… Inside me… now.” 

Their lips brushed. Fully awake now, Harry made Severus lay down on his back as he climbed on top of him. He smiled in the most adorable way, and Severus couldn’t help but smile back at him. Harry kissed Severus fervently, his tongue duelling with Severus’ in an exciting battle. Harry nipped Severus’ earlobe, and then his neck. He adjusted himself better, their cocks brushing each other. Harry’s tongue continued its journey down Severus’ body. He brushed his nipples, his navel, and his scars. 

Then he stopped for a moment. The first time he had kissed Severus’ scars, the older man had been very mad at him for his insolence. Harry had insisted, though, and surprisingly, Severus didn’t ask him to stop kissing him there anymore.

His fingertips caressed them softly. There were four scars on Severus’ chest and a lot more on his back. Harry kissed them one by one. He wished he could ask him about them, about who had been cruel enough to carve them into such beautiful ivory skin. But he knew that if he did ask, Severus would kick him out without even blinking. Besides, it wasn't as if Harry didn't have an idea of whom it was that had marked Severus so cruelly. 

“I wish my kisses could heal them,” Harry said softly.

Severus winced, and then he relaxed a little, smiling almost imperceptibly. “Your kisses are healing me…”

Harry wondered if he had heard it right. His heartbeat quickened. He wanted to ask if Severus had really meant that, if Harry was healing his dark soul, but he didn’t have the courage. There was also the possibility that Harry was imagining the whole thing, that everything was just a beautiful illusion. He was just hearing what he wanted to. It wasn’t real. 

Dream or not, he took Severus’ cock in his mouth, trying to watch out for his teeth. He had hurt Severus once with his eagerness to please him; he didn’t want to hurt him again and ruin the night. He’d never realised how inexperienced he was until he had had sex with Severus for the first time. 

He heard Severus breathe hard as Harry sucked him, and Harry knew he was doing it right. Severus suddenly brought Harry up and kissed him on the mouth. Harry rocked his body on top of Severus’ fast, moaning and whimpering each time their bodies met more intimately. 

They changed positions again so Severus was once more on top of Harry. Their kissing intensified. All Harry could think about was Severus filling him up entirely and fucking his brains out. He felt a slick finger opening him up again. Severus whispered in his ear for him to relax. Three fingers scissored Harry's entrance, and he buried his nails in Severus’ arms savagely. Severus’ fingers were soon substituted by his massive cock. Harry flinched in the beginning. No matter how many times they had done that, Harry was still tight around Severus’ cock. But Severus always respected his pace, always moved inside him as slowly and gently as he could. For someone as aloof and icy, Severus was certainly caring when it came to sex. He gave as much he took. Severus was the perfect lover in bed.

And in the end, when the pain was gone, there was only bliss. Harry always surrendered himself willingly. 

“Sev… Sev… I love you…” Harry moaned lost in his own pleasure.

Severus stopped moving for a second as if he were frozen. He looked deeply into Harry’s eyes, searching for something, but Harry didn't even seem to realise what he had just let out. 

Regardless of what Severus thought, though, Harry was very aware of his own words, and he gulped, thinking that he had just ruined the night by saying such a thing to a man that didn’t want his love. He refused to take it back, though. It was the truth. He loved that man. He loved every inch of Severus. He even loved Severus' harshness because Harry knew it was just a barricade to keep other people out. 

He waited for Severus’ harsh retort, but none came. Instead, Severus captured his lips, surprising Harry to no end. Their bodies moved together again, and Harry could feel Severus’ muscles relaxing in his arms for the first time. He didn’t want to think too much about the meaning of that, but he couldn’t help it. His eyes filled with tears. 

At each thrust, a whimper. Severus seemed eager to devour Harry that night. He nipped Harry’s lips, earlobes, neck. He even let Harry bury his hands in his hair. Harry was surprised to realise that he wasn’t the only one moaning this time. Severus was moaning, too. 

“Harry…”

At the mention of his name being whispered in such a throaty tone, Harry trembled and came at once. 

“Sev…”

“Harry…” Severus thrust inside of him deeper, his face lost in pleasure as he came just a few seconds later, too.

Severus was quick to withdraw. Harry felt empty the moment Severus' body left his. He thought for sure Severus would either pretend nothing had happened or he would berate Harry for having feelings for him. Severus once more surprised Harry, though. Instead of cleaning both of them using magic, this time Severus came back with a wet towel which he used to wipe Harry's bodily fluids and his own. Harry gazed at Severus as if the man had suddenly sprouted another head. 

“What?” Severus asked as he felt Harry’s eyes on him.

“I just…” Harry sighed. “Could I…”

“Could you… what?” 

Instead of talking, Harry decided to act. Even if Severus pushed him away, there was no harm in trying. So he gathered all the courage he had and made his move. He kissed Severus softly on the lips, pulled him back to bed and cuddled him. Severus' whole body went rigid, but he didn't push Harry away. Harry took that as a good sign. He pulled Severus even closer and sighed contently. There were so many things Harry wanted to ask Severus, such as why Severus was not freaking out completely after hearing Harry's love declaration. But Harry opted for peace that night. No good would come out of having such a heavy conversation after such a delightful night of sex. 

Harry fell asleep listening to Severus' steady heartbeat and having Severus' strong hands stroking his hair - another delightful surprise. 

Severus was just as surprised as Harry. He finally came to terms with the fact that there was no escape this time. He couldn’t deny what he felt any longer. 

Severus Snape was doomed. 

He was in love. 

\------------------------------

On Sunday morning, Severus knocked on Remus’ door and told him to get ready. Remus stared at him with a puzzled face, probably wondering if Severus had lost his mind for good, and Severus explained to him that they were going to pay a quick and friendly visit to Antoine in Knockturn Alley.

“And you want me to come with you?” Remus asked, still puzzled.

Severus rolled his eyes. “Well, yes, Lupin. I could use some backup, right? You are the DADA teacher after all. Could you please get dressed so we can go? I want to be back before Harry wakes up.”

Remus frowned, infuriated. “You were with him? After everything I told you, after–”

“There’s no time for that!” Severus growled between his teeth. “If you want to yell at me, leave it for another time. And spare your anger for Antoine. He’s the one who really needs a lesson, not me. I’m the one who wants to protect Harry, in case you haven’t noticed yet.”

Remus did notice; he just couldn’t believe it. Severus wasn’t the type to show his real feelings so openly. 

“Severus…”

“Do you want to come with me or what?” Severus asked, irritated.

Remus nodded. He also wanted to teach Antoine a lesson he would never forget. He got dressed quickly and joined Severus in the corridor. While Severus explained to him what they would do, his mind drifted away to their past together. Once, Remus had loved that ruthless man, and he had believed that they could have had a future together. But destiny was fickle. A part of Remus had hoped to restore their past again after coming back to Hogwarts, he couldn't lie. After Sirius, the only one who could make Remus feel anything was Severus. 

But the way Severus cared about Harry had surprised him a lot. Now that he knew what was going on between them, he could finally understand the sparkle in Harry’s and Severus’ eyes each time they were in the same room. Remu was shocked, but he knew with a frightening conviction that Severus not only cared about Harry, but he also loved him. A man like Severus would never do what he was about to do if he didn't care deeply for Harry.

It hurt Remus' feelings, and he felt terribly jealous. But he didn’t have the right to feel that way. Severus deserved to be happy. He deserved to be loved, and Remus couldn’t think of anyone as perfect for him as Harry. Harry would soften Severus’ heart for sure. If Remus was getting the signals right, Harry was already doing that. So what if Severus was older than Harry? As long as they were in love, everything would be ok.

They entered Antoine’s house, and Remus watched as a silent observer. Severus played with Antoine at first and then hit him with a curse that sent the other man across the room. Severus continued with the cool façade, the one that made him look even more dangerous and brutal. For a brief moment, Remus pitied Antoine for being the object of Severus’ cold fury. But since Antoine had been trying to mess up with Harry's head, his pity didn’t last too long. The man deserved what he was getting, and more. 

They left Antoine’s house half an hour later after Severus threatened the man several times. They couldn’t send him to jail, but Severus could make sure that he wouldn’t bother Harry again. Severus warned Antoine that he would keep an eye on him, and if Antoine got out of line again, he would regret ever being born. 

Remus believed that threat, and so did Antoine, who at the end of their chat was behaving as obediently as a puppy dog.

All the way back to Hogwarts, Remus wondered why Severus had brought him along. It had been clear during the whole episode that Remus’ assistance wasn’t needed. Remus finally realised why when they were near the Great Hall. 

The reason why Severus wanted Remus to accompany him was to show Remus how much he cared about Harry, how much he loved him. Severus had wanted to show him that he didn’t want to hurt Harry, that he’d protect the younger man with his life if it was needed. 

“Thank you,” Severus said to him, ready to leave for the dungeons. 

“Severus?” Remus called to him.

Severus stopped and faced him. “What?” 

“I… I just… My help wasn’t really needed, was it? You just wanted to show me how much you care for him.”

Something flickered in Severus’ eyes. “What if I did?”

“Then… I give you my blessing. If it’s for the best; if he’s happy – and I know he is… I won’t be in your way,” Remus said quietly. “I’m jealous, I confess. I’ve never seen you care about anyone as you care about him. But I…”

“I don’t need your blessing. He does,” Severus said coldly, but Remus could tell that he was touched. “Make sure you tell him that, or he will have the wrong impression that you love me, and he will be all sad and noble about it.”

Remus smiled feebly. “He wouldn’t be so wrong.”

Severus held his breath. “Don’t be stupid, Lupin.”

“I did love you, Severus. I never meant to hurt you. I had no idea Sirius would do something like that.”

Severus sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it does. You’re still hurt.”

“You’re not the only reason why I’m hurt. You know what it was like for me…”

Remus nodded sadly. “I know. You should tell him everything; let him know you. You deserve happiness.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“Why? You’re not dying, are you?” Remus looked suddenly worried. “Severus… Are you…?”

Severus grimaced. “No, I’m not dying. What's with you Gryffindors?”

“Then there’s nothing stopping you, is there. I know I said terrible things last night, but I didn’t mean them…”

“You did. And like I said before, I don’t care.”

“Severus…”

“Please. Remus…” Remus’ eyes flickered, and Severus began, “I already forgave you. Just don’t push it, ok? What I have with Harry is something that I need to figure out by myself. I appreciate your concern, but Harry is my business.”

“He’s mine, too.”

“I know. And whatever decision I make about him will only be for his own good.”

“Just don’t hurt him.”

“I’ll try my best.”

Considering the man who was saying those words, they meant a lot. 

\---------------------------

Severus came out of Dumbledore’s office with his soul free and relieved. He had just told the Headmaster about him and Harry, and he was shocked to realise that Dumbledore already knew everything. More than that, he was quite happy that Severus had found happiness with Harry. 

The world wasn’t making much sense to Severus. First Remus had given him his blessing, and now Dumbledore. He didn’t care about Remus’ blessing, but Dumbledore’s approval was very important to him. 

He stopped in the middle of the hallway, thinking of what he should do next. He wanted to see Harry but after the turmoil in his head he also wanted to spend some time alone. Being in Lupin’s company had touched him, and to hear him say that he had loved Severus hurt him more than he thought it would. But he also knew now that the one he really loved was Harry, not Remus. Remus was just a memory of his past. 

The question was: should he tell Harry? Should he open his heart and risk being rejected? He’d never admit it, not even under torture, but he was scared. He was scared of a skinny, short man who was much younger than him.

Harry had confessed his feelings for Severus, but did he really mean them? After all, he’d confessed that he loved Severus in the heat of the moment when his mind was immersed in lust. Severus couldn’t take his words seriously. Why would Harry choose to be with him when he could be with someone his own age? 

He was taken out of his reverie when he heard a conversation nearby.

“I don’t want to talk to you!” he heard Kirk Thompson shout. 

“Why are you like this? Why can’t you just be nice?” asked Dionysus. 

Severus hid behind a large marble pillar to eavesdrop on them. He smiled bitterly as he realised that Harry’s bad habits were rubbing off on him. A few meters away, Dionysus – Harry’s favourite student – and Kirk – one of the most brilliant potions students Severus had ever met – were arguing. 

“I don’t know what you’re playing at!” Kirk said aggressively. “I don’t know, but I don’t like it! Just tell your friends to stop harassing me!”

“I’m not playing with you. What I said was true,” said Dionysus with the typical Gryffindor sincerity. “I don’t know who’s harassing you, but if you tell me…”

“You know pretty well who they are.” Kirk looked away. “I…”

“Tell me who, and I’ll break all of their faces!” Dionysus raised Kirk’s chin so their faces were close. “You know what I feel about you. You know that I–”

“NO!” Kirk looked suddenly terrified, and he tried desperately to push Dionysus away from him. “STOP IT! Just leave me alone!”

“You’re being irrational! Just because I said I love you…”

“I don’t believe you! I don’t believe a word you say! How can you love me? No one likes me.”

“I do.” Dionysus let go of Kirk. “If you don’t believe my word then I’ll have to show you that I’m for real.” 

Kirk looked at him, confused, and Severus felt like it was time to meddle in before the situation went too far. 

“No,” said a voice behind him, taking him by his sleeve.

Severus turned around and his eyes came across Harry’s. “No?”

“Let them talk,” Harry said. “They need to figure things out on their own.”

“As usual, you were eavesdropping,” Severus said with a frown.

Harry smiled playfully. “I was only following your lead this time.” 

Severus snorted. “Don’t be insolent, Potter.”

“I can’t help it.”

They gazed at each other, and Severus almost smiled. Harry looked a lot better, even if he still had bags under his eyes. Severus began to say something, but he was cut off by the loud arguing in the background. Severus looked at Harry as if he was asking him why he shouldn’t intervene, and Harry just pointed at the boys, who seemed weirdly silent all of a sudden. Severus turned around and found out why they were so quiet. Dionysus had pinned Kirk’s hands on the wall, and he was kissing him. Kirk didn’t seem to be fighting too convincingly to break free, so Severus let them enjoy their foolishness instead of taking house points for displaying such a scene in a school corridor. 

“You’re a bad influence, Potter,” Severus muttered to Harry. “I won’t do anything to them, but next time that Gryffindor boy comes my way, I’ll make his life miserable. Kirk is my best student, and I don’t think he has an easy life in and out of this castle, so if that stupid boy hurts him…” Severus let the warning hang in the air. 

“I know Kirk’s life isn’t easy. Dionysus and I talked about it. Dionysus really likes Kirk, so just let them be.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Why not warn them that they’re bound to suffer?”

“Not every love story has to end in pain or death.”

“Just the normal ones,” Severus said absently. “Oh, wait. No, you’re right. The normal ones end in divorce.”

“Bitter as usual, huh?”

Severus shrugged. “If you don’t like it, then why are you still with me?”

Harry made a face. “That’s a good question. If I told you, though, you’d make fun of me. Or worst, you would reject me.”

Severus looked behind him. The boys weren’t there anymore. He was worried about Kirk. The boy reminded him too much of himself, but Severus had other things to worry about. It was a good thing that the boys were gone, because now he only had to deal with Harry, and that wasn’t an easy task. He turned to face Harry, and when he made sure no one was around, he asked, “How… how are you feeling?”

Harry smiled. “I had a great night. I mean, it started awfully wrong, and I was pathetic. I apologise for that by the way. But you helped me. More than I expected actually. Thanks. Er…” Harry looked at his feet. “Did you… Did you wake me up in the middle of the night? You know… to… to…”

Severus frowned. “You don’t remember?”

Harry looked up, embarrassed. “I remember it quite well. It’s just… It isn’t your style to wake me up like that and I… I thought maybe I was dreaming.”

“You weren’t, but don’t make a big deal out of it,” Severus said as if it didn’t matter.

Harry felt sad. “I won’t.”

“We have to talk.” Severus saw many different emotions crossing Harry’s eyes. He was surprised to see panic there, as if Harry expected him to do something unpleasant. “What? I won’t fight with you again, or call you a fool. Well, maybe I will call you a fool. But that’s not–”

“I won’t take it back,” Harry said firmly even though his eyes showed vulnerability.

“What are you talking about?”

“What I said to you last night… I won’t take it back. I mean it. If this is what you want to talk to me about…”

Severus sighed, irritated. “You’re jumping ahead of me! I still haven’t said a word!”

“But I know what you will say, and I won’t take it back.”

Severus counted to ten. “And what was that? What did you say last night that you won’t take it back?”

“That… That I love you.”

Severus’ heart stopped. He didn’t expect Harry to be so bold, so open. He looked away, annoyed. 

“What?” Harry asked with a smirk. “Aren’t you going to say that I’m just a foolish brat and that I don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“You really are a foolish brat. What I need to tell you has nothing to do with that.”

“No?” Harry looked at him confused.

“No.”

“So you believe me. You… You won’t tell me to leave you alone or…”

“Whether you love me or not is your problem, not mine.” Severus knew his words would hurt Harry, but that was how he was. He should let Harry know that so he wouldn’t have any illusions about him. “I’ll just tell you that I’m not interested in love, so you love me at your own risk.”

Harry clutched his fists. He was hurt. He wanted to break Severus in two, rip his heart into tiny little pieces and feed them to Fang. Why did Severus have to be so cold, so unattainable?

“Why do you have to be so cruel? You’re such a bastard.” Harry snarled.

“You already knew that, and yet, you were foolish enough to fall in love with someone like me?”

Every word that came out of Severus’ lips stung Harry’s heart painfully. 

Severus sneered, but deep down he was hurt, too. “What’s wrong, Potter? Did the dare backfire that much?”

“No! There wasn’t a dare! There was never a dare! I just… I just wanted to kiss you, but until that day I didn’t know how much. I don’t know when my feelings for you changed, but they did, and now… now you’re being the usual bastard and I hate you for it!”

“I never promised you anything!”

“No, you didn’t,” Harry said sadly, turning around to leave. “You’re right. I am foolish.”

“HEY! Wait a minute! Didn’t I say we have to talk? Did I tell you to go away?” 

Harry started walking away, but Severus caught him before he could go too far. Severus wanted to yell at him for being so bloody emotional, for turning his world upside down, for making him feel things he shouldn’t be feeling. He gripped Harry’s arms imperceptibly, and let go of them the moment he realised Harry was in pain. Severus was confused and lost. He loved Harry, but he couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t risk being too exposed. And yet, a part of him wanted to. He was a brute of a man. Why did Harry love him?

Severus sighed audibly. Then, he tenderly stroked Harry’s face. 

“I don’t understand you,” Harry whispered sadly. 

“That makes two of us,” Severus muttered, his lips being pulled to Harry’s like gravity. 

There he was, being all emotional, throwing caution out the window by kissing Harry like that. The kiss blew him away, made him tremble all over. Somehow, he kept his self-control, but it cost him a lot of effort in the process. Harry’s mouth was pure honey.

“I guess… I’ll take my chances, then,” Harry whispered against his mouth.

“Huh?”

Harry wouldn’t give up on Severus. He knew there was something there. Severus felt something for him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t touch Harry in such a tender way or be so worried about him. He wouldn’t kiss Harry the way he always did. Severus was just scared. He had never known love; it was a new feeling to him. Harry had to be patient, had to respect Severus’ pace just like he respected Harry’s when they were making love. 

“You say that I love you at my own risk, so I say I’ll take my chances,” Harry said, although a part of him wondered if he was finally losing his mind by fighting a lost battle. No, he refused to believe that. Severus still had a heart, and Harry would prove it.

Something flickered in Severus’ eyes, and his heart warmed. 

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Harry asked.

Severus took a while to answer as he was still recovering from the kiss. “I… I talked to Antoine. I told him to stay away from you. And you better stay away from him, too, Harry, and I mean it! If you don’t, I’ll… What? Did I say something funny? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Harry smiled. “You called me Harry. Just like last night…”

Severus held his breath, but he quickly recovered. “So? It’s only a bloody name. Don’t make such a fuss about it.” Severus waited for Harry’s usual emotional explosion, but he was surprised to see a playful and sexy smile on Harry’s lips. 

“I won’t go to Knockturn Alley again. I realise it was really stupid of me… But I’ll need your help.”

“I’ll help you. I already told you I would.”

“Yeah, but you’re a strange guy… You change your mind every second.”

Severus made a face. “Potter, shut up.”

“So, you went to Knockturn Alley, huh? What did you say to Antoine?”

“I made it clear that he would regret being born if he didn’t leave you alone.”

“And he just obeyed you?” Harry chuckled. “That was a dumb question! I can only imagine your threats…”

Severus took Harry’s chin between his forefinger and thumb. “If he bothers you, just tell me and I’ll take care of it.”

“You sound like a mob guy. Is there a wizards’ mob or something?”

“Mob? I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just… never mind. So, you were my knight in shining armour. How does it feel?” Harry said playfully.

Severus rolled his eyes. “Don’t start.”

“I’m really surprised,” Harry’s eyes flickered. “I didn’t expect you to be so protective.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised. Haven’t I been watching over you for all these years? I’ve done nothing but look after you. All those times you thought I was being just an irritating bastard by watching your every move... All those times I was trying to take care of you,” Severus confessed emotionally. He took a deep breath and kept going, “You didn’t make my job easy. You never do. I failed you many times. But I won’t let a stupid prick like Antoine mess with you, not if it’s in my power to stop him. I can’t send him to jail, but I can make his life miserable. And you… try to be a little more grateful and keep yourself out of trouble for a few months at least! I could use some rest.”

“Sev…”

Harry had never really paid attention to that, but now that Severus had said it, he just realised how many times Severus had protected him; how many times he had followed Harry around. Harry had never thought Severus was looking after him. He’d thought Severus was just trying to find an excuse to expel Harry. Perhaps he had been trying to get Harry expelled. Perhaps he had been acting just like Dobby. They sure had a distorted way of protecting him, but it touched Harry’s heart anyway.

“You can go now,” Severus said, backing away a little.

Harry frowned. “Like hell I will! You can’t tell me to go away now! Not when you just said those things to me!”

Severus shrugged. “There’s nothing more to say.”

Harry clutched his fists angrily. He would never understand Severus. 

“You’re really annoying. You’re a sadistic, unnerving, stupid prick!”

Severus looked at him, bored. “Are you done with your immaturity show?”

“No, I’m not done! You can’t say what you just said and then walk away! The way you said it, it seemed as if you… love me…”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Not necessarily. If you must know, I had a debt with your father, remember? He died and I couldn’t save him, but I could save you instead.”

Harry’s fury boiled, and he felt like hitting Severus. “So I’m just your duty?”

“You were. But I already paid my debt, so…”

“So?” Harry waited for his answer eagerly. 

“So, consider all the things I’ve done for you so far as a bonus,” Severus said with a sneer.

“A bonus?” Harry couldn’t hold himself. He raised his fist and tried to hit Severus’ face, but as usual, Severus was faster than him. 

He pinned Harry’s wrists on the wall and whispered close to Harry’s ear, “You love to be in this position, just admit it.”

“I’d love to kick your ass!” Harry roared, fighting to break free. 

Severus smiled, and Harry was dazzled for a moment, enough for Severus to make his move and kiss him. His hands slipped down Harry’s face, chest, and rested on his waist. Harry melted in his arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 

“Oh, my!” said a shocked voice behind them. 

They broke apart immediately, and Severus flushed violently at the sight of Flitwick and Longbottom staring at them with identical, stunned expressions. Flitwick seemed to recover a little faster than Longbottom. He just smiled at Severus in reassurance. 

“Oh, don’t mind us!” Flitwick said with his little voice. “We’re just passing!”

“Harry?” Neville seemed to be immobile. 

“Neville, I…” Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound came out. 

“Come along, Mr Longbottom. We still have a lot to do for tomorrow,” Flitwick said, pulling Neville away with him. 

When they were out of sight, Harry looked at Severus and waited for his explosion. Curiously, Severus didn’t seem to be angry, just embarrassed. 

“Longbottom just had his moment of glory,” he said to Harry. “He’ll never respect me again after this.”

“Well, you brought this on yourself.”

Severus shot him a dagger-look. 

“I suppose half of the school will know about this tomorrow…” Severus pointed out.

“Neville won’t tell anyone. I swear.”

“He won’t miss a chance to humiliate me, Potter.”

“I’ll talk to him. He might not like you… but he’s my friend.”

“You do just that.”

Severus started walking, but Harry went along with him. “Wait. That’s it? You won’t yell at me or be stressed about it?”

“What for? I know Flitwick. Even though he will never stop chuckling when he sees me, he’s a discreet man. As for Longbottom, if you say you can control him, then I believe you. After all, he’s a Gryffindor, right? He has to keep his promises.”

“You’re taking this much better than I’ve ever imagined.”

“I’m hanging by a thread, Potter, so don’t push it,” Severus hissed. 

“Severus…”

Severus stopped. He had never heard Harry say his name like that. It sounded so serious, so solemn. 

“What?”

“Do you… want my company later tonight?”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Do you need to ask?”

Harry sighed. “You’re sending all these mixed-up signals today and now I’m confused. You don’t want my love, but you still want me in your bed, or you wouldn’t have kissed me like that. You’ve protected me, but you don’t really care. And just now we were caught by Neville, and yet you seem to be perfectly calm about it. I swear I don’t understand you.”

“I don’t want you to understand me.”

“But I want to.”

Severus looked suddenly very tired. “Why? Why do want to know me so much? I’m not worth it, trust me.”

Harry had never seen Severus looking so fragile, so exposed. “I want to understand why you became so bitter, so cold.”

Severus smirked. “It’s the same heartbreaking story, Potter, just another cliché. Another ballad of the sad boy whose mother was too busy taking care of her own wounds to worry about her son, and whose father was just a cruel son of a bitch that drank too much, yelled too much and beat the shit out of the stupid sad little boy.”

“Sev…” Harry had tears in his eyes.

“What else do you want to know? How I cried myself to sleep? How I hated Muggles because of my father? How I was too poor to even attend this school, and yet Dumbledore was kind enough to accept me? How I had to endure all the stupid jokes because I had no money for decent clothes or books that didn’t fall apart? I lived through all of that humiliation, and when I thought Voldemort would be the answer to my prayers, I discovered that he wasn’t. He treated me like scum. Even among Death Eaters, there was a caste. I was mostly privileged because I was very good at potions, but other than that… It was hell.” Severus realised he had said too much when he noticed his hands shaking. “I think… that’s enough for today.”

“Sev… I…”

“Don’t say anything.”

Harry admired Severus’ ability to remain cold even though he was falling apart on the inside. 

Severus sneered. “I hope you’re satisfied now.”

“I just… I just want to love you.”

As usual, Harry’s honesty took him unprepared. “Aren’t you doing that already?”

“But you have to let me.”

Severus sighed. “I am. You’ve already made me feel enough for a lifetime, Potter. It’s enough for now.”

Harry took that as a good sign. Maybe someday Severus would tell him everything about his past. He sure had surprised Harry today by telling him so much about himself. 

Harry climbed on his tiptoes and kissed Severus fully on the mouth. “Let me comfort you tonight.”

Severus frowned. “Comfort? Just because I showed you that I’m still human?”

Harry nodded, and then he smiled. “Consider it as a bonus for taking care of me yesterday.”

Severus tried to hide his smile, but he couldn’t. “A bonus, huh?”

“It’s the least that I can do.”

“I couldn’t possibly put you under such stress,” Severus said teasingly.

“I’ll get over it. Besides, I have therapy tomorrow.”

If Severus smiled again, he would pull a muscle. He wasn’t used to it.

“I’ll wait for you, then,” he whispered, kissing Harry. 

While Severus walked to his chambers, he wished he had warned Harry that he was fighting a lost battle; that Severus couldn’t love him the way he wanted to, the way he deserved it. Severus wouldn’t change, and Harry should keep that in mind if they were going to be together.

But deep down Severus knew that Harry had already changed him.


	6. Part 6

Harry waited for all the students to leave before entering Remus’ classroom to talk to him. There was a period of awkwardness as they gazed at one another. There were so many things he wanted to ask him, but he didn’t know what to begin with. Remus had been Severus’ first lover. In spite of what Severus had told him, Harry knew that if Remus had been with Severus in the past, it was because Remus had loved him. 

He was afraid of the answers to his questions, because if Remus still loved Severus, then Harry would be torn between stepping aside or fighting like a lion for the right to be with Severus. 

“Remus…” he began.

“How are you, Harry?” Remus asked kindly.

“I’m fine. I started taking a weaker sleeping draught. It’s not as potent as Soporiferum, but Severus told me it will help me be cleaned,” Harry said bitterly. “He talks to me like I’m a drug addict. It’s really upsetting. Like I’m this stupid eight-year-old kid who needs supervision all the time… I’m twenty-three. I can be trusted!” 

Remus smiled. “He’s only looking after you. The addiction to Soporiferum can get really bad. Severus knows what’s best for you, Harry. Just do as he says and you’ll be all right. I couldn’t help but notice that he… has you in high esteem, even if he doesn’t show it very often.”

Harry’s expression softened, his face blushing a little. “I know. That’s why I’m trying not to fight with him all the time. I know he’s worried, and I know he wants me to get better. Last night he actually told me that…” he stopped abruptly, looking anywhere but at Remus. 

“What did he say?”

“Er… Never mind.”

Remus sighed, not sure if he really wanted to know what Severus had said to Harry in the dead of the night, as they both cuddled in bed. He had accepted their relationship, but not that much. Not just yet. 

“Well, I’m glad Severus is being so helpful,” Remus said.

“Are you really?” Harry asked hastily. 

Their eyes locked. 

“Yes, really,” Remus assured. 

There was a long period of silence. Harry wanted to go straight to the point, but he didn’t know how to. 

“He told me you went with him to Antoine’s house. What exactly did you do? Severus didn’t want to tell me the details.”

Remus smiled at the memory. “Well, he asked politely for a sample of the potion Antoine was selling you, but since Antoine said there was none left, Severus hung him upside down for a while, and threatened him with a very painful curse. He actually cast it on Antoine… The man is really annoying. He told Severus he was only helping you. He never meant to hurt you.” Remus sniggered. “Like we would fall for that, right? So Severus told him to stop helping you, or he’d regret his pitiful existence. We have no evidence that he was doing you harm, but the thing is… If we went to the Hit Wizards, you’d also be in trouble. You were buying something you shouldn’t be buying unless you had a prescription. It’d look really bad for you. So Severus just warned Antoine to leave you alone. As you know, Severus can be really scary, so I think Antoine won’t do anything against you anymore. Just in case, we’ll keep an eye on him.”

“I was really stupid,” Harry said sadly. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You were just trying to heal yourself in the wrong place, Harry. I think now you’ve found what it takes to get better for good. Severus is the one helping you, right?”

Harry didn’t miss the hint in Remus’ words. He also noticed a tone of sadness in Remus’ voice, and he looked down. 

“Remus…”

“Ask me, Harry. I know you want to. The reason you came here in the first place was to ask about Severus and me.”

Harry looked up and stared straight at Remus. “Do you… love him?”

Remus folded his hands and his eyes avoided Harry’s. “Yes. There’s no point in lying to you.”

Harry bit his lips and gripped his armchair. He wanted to comfort Remus, but he also wanted to hit him. Like the night he had seen Lydia in Severus’ office, he felt like screaming to Remus that Severus belonged to him and no one else.

“But I won’t stand in your way, don’t worry,” Remus said quietly. 

Harry relaxed a little. “What happened between you, him and Sirius?”

Remus leaned against his chair and looked at the ceiling. “I loved Sirius, more than anything or anyone in my life. But he didn’t love me that way, at least not in the beginning. That was why I turned to Severus. Severus and I had the same problem with our fathers. My father wasn’t as cruel as his, but he treated me with indifference. He also used to drink a lot, and I was afraid of him when he was like that. Severus and I became close because of our conversations, and one day we just kissed, out of the blue.

“I really liked Severus, and after a while, I began to love him too. Sirius found out, and he got really mad. What I had with Severus made Sirius realise that he loved me, too, and he hated me for that. He was the lady’s man of Gryffindor. He couldn’t possibly be in love with me.

“He resented Severus, too. Severus was our enemy, so I shouldn’t be sleeping with him. I told Sirius to mind his own business… We had a huge fight. But I never thought he would do something like that. Severus was almost killed because of me… Sirius regretted it later. He told me he had been blinded by jealousy and that he didn’t know what he was doing. I forgave him because I loved him. But Severus was really pissed off, and he took more than twenty years to forgive me. 

“What I want you to understand Harry, is that I never meant to hurt Severus. We were just too young…” 

“I believe you,” Harry said in a whisper. “I knew you’d never plot something like that. You’re too kind.”

Remus looked at him with a gentle smile. “Thanks, but I’m not that kind. I was really angry when I found out about you and Severus. I was jealous more than anything else. Do you know why?” Harry only looked at him as Remus went on, “I’ve never seen him care about anyone or anything like he cares about you. You’ve touched his heart. No matter what I had with him, I was never able to do that. I really think he loves you.”

Harry’s heart pounded painfully inside his chest. “How do you know? How can you tell?”

“Are you kidding me?” Remus looked at him as if Harry was insane. “His love for you is in every gesture and look that he sends towards you. He just doesn’t like to show it. If you knew how desperate he was to save you when you went into that coma after your battle against Voldemort… He was the one who took care of you; he refused to let you die. At the time I didn’t realise his real feelings for you. I guess he didn’t know about them, either. But his love for you was there, even when he didn’t know what to call it.” Remus sighed. “He’s been watching over you for so long, Harry. And after our visit to Antoine, I accepted the fact that he really loves you, and that’s why I won’t be in your way.”

Harry sighed sadly. “But you’re angry at me.”

“No… I was jealous. Perhaps I still am… but… All I want is for you to be happy.”

”I don’t know if he loves me.”

“He does, he just doesn’t know how to show it.”

Harry remembered Severus’ words, that he was letting Harry love him, and that should be enough. But Harry wanted so much more. He wanted Severus to love him with the same intensity that Harry loved him. More than anything, he wanted Severus to say the words aloud. 

Harry stared at Remus and saw how tired he was. Harry pitied him. Remus was like a father to him. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he should make it clear that he wouldn’t give up on Severus. 

“Remus… I’m really sorry, but… I love him. If at some point you realise you want him back, I’ll fight you.”

Remus was surprised at how serious Harry looked, and how his words were so honest. He smiled. 

“You shouldn’t worry about that. He’s chosen you, Harry.”

“Still…”

“I promise I won’t get between you two. I still think that there’s a large age difference between you, but we’re wizards. We grow old differently than Muggles. Just look at Dumbledore. No one really knows how old he is for sure. We live longer. So, Harry, you have my blessing. I hope you find happiness with him. And I hope he finds happiness with you because Merlin knows how much he needs that.”

Harry felt tremendously relieved at that. Since Remus had given him his blessing, everything would be easier. Harry wouldn’t have to fight him. He had Severus all to himself. He was happy because it was one less battle to fight. Now he only had to find a way to make Severus admit that he loved him. 

“I’m glad I won’t have to fight you, Remus, because I’d hate to lose your friendship.”

Remus stopped next to Harry and ruffled his hair. “You’ll have to endure me for the rest of your life, kiddo.”

“Don’t do that to my hair!” Harry complained, making Remus chuckled. 

“Severus actually thought you’d step aside and let me have him once you found out that I loved him.”

“He’s nuts!” Harry exclaimed. “He belongs to me.”

“What about your Gryffindor honour?” Remus joked.

“Screw it! My love for him surpasses even my pride, let alone my Gryffindor honour,” Harry said playfully. 

“I wonder what he’d have to say about that.”

“He’ll never know. I have to keep my dignity.”

Remus raised an eyebrow mischievously. “So your dignity is above your love.”

Harry made a face. “Not really. But he doesn’t have to know that.”

Remus chuckled, and then asked seriously, “What are you going to do now?”

“I’ll have to convince him that my love for him is real and that he can be loved. I have to break through his barrier at all cost.”

Harry wasn’t very happy at the perspective, but he wouldn’t give up on fighting. He’d make Severus see what Harry saw in him. He’d make Severus understand that he had the right to love and be loved. 

“Good luck with that,” Remus said faithfully. 

Harry smiled feebly. He’d need all the luck he could get. 

\-------------------------------

Severus heard a soft knock on his door, and he tied his sleeping robe firmly around his body before opening it to let Harry come in. As he locked the door, Harry wrapped his arms around his neck. Severus tensed for a moment, and as he relaxed, he enlaced Harry’s waist, pulling him closer. 

“What’s that for?” he asked Harry.

“I just felt like hugging you,” Harry whispered against his ear. He kissed Severus’ neck and made him shiver. 

Harry’s hand unfastened Severus' black robe and let it slide to the ground, revealing his naked body. Harry had always been saucy when it came to sex, which pleased Severus very much. And the most surprising thing was that Harry was still shy around him, especially when he was naked. But tonight he wasn’t shy. Tonight he was behaving like a starving man as his lips went down on Severus. 

Severus bit his tongue to prevent a loud moan from escaping his mouth. He closed his eyes, ravished. He felt tingles of pleasure running through his body as Harry’s mouth increased its pace. Harry had gotten so much better at giving head that Severus’ body convulsed in ecstasy quickly, and he came inside Harry’s mouth without warning, eyes glazed and lips slightly agape. 

Severus leaned his head back on the wall, trying to catch his breath. Harry was on fire that night. His tongue circled Severus' nipples then bit them hard. Severus' eyes flew open as he moaned involuntarily. 

“I know how to set you on fire,” Harry whispered mischievously. 

Severus could tell him that his mere presence was enough to set him on fire, but he had a name to preserve.

“You’re mine…” he heard Harry mutter as he sucked his neck. 

It was then that Severus realised what that was all about. He knew Harry had talked to Remus earlier that day, so Harry’s sudden attack on his body was his way of marking his territory. He couldn’t help but smile. It was nice to be wanted that much, even if Harry was being foolish. Severus cupped Harry’s face and wiped away a thin line of his fluids that remained on the corner of Harry’s lips. 

“Are you still thinking that Remus loves me?” Severus asked. 

“I’m certain about it, but he had his chance with you and he blew it. I’m the one with you now. He said… that you love me. He said he saw it in your eyes,” Harry said softly. “He won’t stand in our way. But if he did, I wouldn’t let him.”

Severus admired his bravery, but he cursed Remus’ acute perception. He didn’t want to play the usual bastard and ruin the moment, so he kept quiet about it. He also wouldn’t tell Harry what the boy wanted to hear from him. He couldn’t. So instead of talking, he kissed Harry fiercely and led him to bed. Harry didn’t put up a fight. He just let himself be carried and then ravished. Severus looked like he was possessed as he pounded Harry against the mattress. His head was dizzy; his breath was totally out of control. He heard Harry whimper and moan for him to keep going, to fuck him harder. Severus granted his wishes, and as Harry came, Severus let himself go. 

“Sev?” Harry called him softly as Severus abandoned his body to lay by his side. 

“Huh?”

Harry came closer until their eyes were at the same level. “Thanks.”

Severus frowned. “For what? Attacking you?” 

“For taking care of me all these years.” 

Severus gulped, and he felt emotional, but he held himself in check. “It’s about time for you to be grateful for all the things I’ve done for you.”

“You saved me. You pulled me out of the coma. I’ll never forget that,” Harry said emotionally. 

Severus looked the other way, desperately trying to avoid Harry’s eyes. “So you know about that. Lupin is a bloody bastard... He shouldn’t have said anything to you.”

“Why not? You should have said something to me! Why did you hide it?” 

“What difference would it make? You hated me.”

Harry stroked Severus’ face tenderly. “I don’t hate you anymore. I did before because you hated me, too. You always treated me like I was this annoying kid, like I was born to make your life miserable. You never treated me kindly. You were always harsh and implacable. What did you expect me to think of you?”

Severus sighed. “I only did it because you needed discipline. Everyone else treated you like you were special, like you were made of glass. Dumbledore had sent you away precisely to avoid that fame went to your head. I was harsh with you because I wanted to be your constant reminder that you were just a normal kid. You were such a rule breaker. That kind of behaviour would only make your life difficult and dangerous. And then there was my grudge towards your father. You look a lot like him, even though you have your mother’s eyes. But as I watched you, I knew you were more like your mother. Your mother was driven by her heart, and so are you.”

Severus knew he had said too much, and when he stared at Harry, he saw the shock in his eyes. Now that he’d started, he couldn’t stop. 

“I didn’t know that you had lived such a miserable life with the Dursleys,” Severus went on. “I felt sympathy for you when I realised what kind of life you had outside Hogwarts. Somehow we had similar lives, and that was really scary. You knew what humiliation felt like, just like I did. At the same time, I still didn’t like you. Do you understand?”

Harry did. It was hard to understand what the heart really wanted, what it really felt. 

“I felt the same way when I saw your memories,” Harry said in a whisper. “I pitied you. It was a shock to discover that you were a human being; that you’d suffered so much. But at the same time I still didn’t like you because of the way you treated me.”

Severus caressed Harry’s face and said softly, “You were annoying.”

Harry made a face. “So were you.” 

“Even if I was different, I could never be a friend to you like Lupin was. I felt your pain when Black died, but I couldn’t do anything. I had to keep the façade, especially with Voldemort back in power. I feared for you. I knew your weak spots. I feared that Voldemort would use one of them to destroy you. And he did. Right before you vanquished him, he found a way to cast a deadly spell on you. You went into a coma where you’d be trapped with your deepest fears.” Severus trembled a little. He didn’t like to remember that time when Harry had almost died. “Everyone told me to give up on you because you’d already given up on life. That was what they said. I knew you better. I knew you’d find a way back, and so did Dumbledore. We didn’t give up. We couldn’t. We had made it that far. We…” Severus’ voice failed, and he noticed, shocked, that a single tear had fallen down his cheek. 

Harry hugged Severus, his eyes full of tears. “I did find my way back. I heard you calling me.”

Severus held Harry’s shaken body tightly. “You heard me?”

“I did. I actually thought it was annoying, so I came back just to tell you to shut up.”

Severus did the unexpected. He gave a strangled laugh to suppress his tears. “You really are a brat.” 

“And you’re still a bastard.” 

“Harry…”

Harry’s heart almost stopped at the sound of his first name coming out of Severus’ lips. “What?”

“I… I can’t make you any promises. I won’t change. If you want to be with me, you’ll have to accept this.”

For the slightest moment, Harry had thought Severus would confess his love for him. He sighed sadly. 

“Do you hate me?” Harry asked.

“No!” 

“Do you love me?”

Severus tensed. “I… I don’t know.” It was a lie. Severus did know; he just wasn’t ready to admit it. “But I… I care about you, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone in my life. Can you accept that?”

Harry cuddled him even more, searching for the heat of his body. He suddenly felt very cold. Could he accept that? He knew that the answer to that question was positive. Like he’d said to Remus, his love was above his pride. 

“Yes, I accept that.”

He felt Severus’ body relaxing under his. Harry didn’t relax, though. A question kept popping up in his head, and it wouldn’t let him rest. 

‘How long will you really accept this, Harry?’ he questioned himself in thought. 

\---------------------------

Two months later…

Harry sat by the fire, contemplating the guests from Neville’s and Ginny’s wedding party at a distance. He saw Hermione and Ron risking a few clumsy dance steps on the dance floor, and he couldn’t help but smile. Ron had no talent whatsoever for dancing, but it was a funny scene to watch. So, Harry and Hermione kept stimulating him for their own amusement. 

Ron had changed a lot. He still had a bad temper, but he was more serious. Something wasn’t right, Harry could tell, but Ron didn’t want to worry him. Harry was glad that Ron would start teaching Quidditch at Hogwarts. Perhaps then he could make Ron spill his problems. Harry often wondered if Ron was still upset about his relationship with Severus, but Ron had guaranteed that he was ok with it. 

Most of his friends and a few Professors knew about Harry and Severus now, and even though some of them didn’t approve of it, no one had ever bothered them. 

And there he was again, thinking about Severus. He shook his head. He wouldn’t think of Severus. He should concentrate on something else, or else he would be sad and irritated. 

His green eyes landed on Neville and Ginny dancing a few steps behind Fred and George. They looked adorably in love. Ginny would make Neville a very happy man. Harry remembered when Ginny used to have a crush on him. He had never been interested in her like that, but he wondered if he shouldn’t have given her a chance. Then perhaps he wouldn’t be so gloomy on such a cheerful day. She’d have loved him, not just used him for sex like some people. 

He sighed. He and Ginny would have never worked out, and one look at her and Neville told him why. They were sickeningly in love. They were actually too much in love for Harry’s taste. It wouldn’t last. A love like that didn’t exist. 

‘He looks at her as if she’s perfect,’ Harry thought bitterly. ‘Wait until he really meets her on a daily basis. Ha! They won’t last a month. He’ll realise how annoying she is when she wakes up, and how she makes fun of his clumsiness, and how she would never tell him that she loves him no matter what because she doesn’t love him. Not really. She just likes their sex compatibility. It’s convenient. He has a lover at his disposal, so he won’t have to take a stranger home, someone he just met at a bar somewhere... But he will tease. He will make him insane with his ability to let him hope that someday he might actually tell him that he loves him. Stupid, arrogant prick!'

He sighed again. He was being unfair to Ginny and Neville. His bitterness wasn’t about them. Not all of it. He was jealous of their happiness, their intimacy; but what was troubling him the most was his relationship with Severus. 

Not that they hadn’t made progress. Severus was nicer to him. He even told Harry a little about his childhood: how he had hated his father for hitting him and his mother every time he was drunk. But other than that, they were pretty much the same. After pouring his heart out to Harry, however, Severus had woken up as cold as ever. 

It was hard to make Severus smile. Harry had considered putting him on a plane and dropping him in Siberia. His cool personality would match perfectly with Siberia’s freezing weather. 

He and Severus had achieved a weird kind of intimacy, and yet it still wasn’t enough for Harry. He wanted more. 

Harry didn’t know what else to do. He had told Remus that he wouldn’t give up, and he wasn’t lying. But it was really hard to keep on fighting. Harry was becoming depressed. He had lost his patience with Severus that same morning. For one thing, he hated that Severus kept calling him Potter and not Harry – something that he only did when they were making love. For another, Severus had refused to go with Harry to the wedding, which had only pissed Harry off. 

In hindsight, Harry shouldn’t have yelled at Severus like that. Severus had been stunned by Harry's harsh words. But it was too late to take them back. Or was it? Perhaps he should go back to Hogwarts to apologise to him. Or perhaps he should stay right where he was because he wasn’t Severus' puppy. 

Yeah, right. Who was he kidding? Besides, they had only been together for a short period of time. He was sure that Severus would confess his true feelings for him after, perhaps, a year. The thought only made Harry more sad and depressed than before. 

His previous relationships had never been so difficult. He wanted to understand Severus, to break into his wall of ice. Sometimes he succeeded but after a while Severus built it up again. Harry should be patient and conquer Severus’ heart little by little. He could do it, even if it was an exhausting task.

Harry buried himself in the armchair, hoping he’d be swallowed by it.

“I should just go to a bar and bring someone home with me,” he muttered. “He’d be jealous.”

“Do you really think that something so childish is going to work?” said a hoarse voice behind him. “You’d be proving that you’re immature, that’s all. And that is something that I already know.”

Harry opened his eyes wide. His face was hot from embarrassment. He stood up abruptly, turned around and stared at the man in front of him, the man he couldn’t stop thinking about all night. 

“Sev?” Harry was too stunned to say anything, but he managed to ask, “What are you doing here?”

Severus smirked. “I thought you said I was invited, as amazing as it might sound.”

“You were.” And they had argued endlessly about that already. “I mean, you are.”

Severus was dressed in a black tuxedo with a crème scarf carelessly tossed around his neck, making him look sexier and more mysterious than usual. A lock of his black hair had fallen in front of his left eye, covering it a little. His hands were in his trousers’ pockets. The musky cologne made its way into Harry’s nostrils, and he sighed with pleasure. Harry was dazzled. Severus looked amazing. 

“What’s wrong with these people?” he heard Severus asking, annoyed. “It’s like they’ve never seen me before!”

Harry woke up from his trance to realise that they were being stared at. To his utter annoyance, he noticed the lustful looks that most women and a few men were shooting at Severus. He couldn’t really blame them. It was the first time that Severus looked so devastatingly sexy to the outside world, not just for Harry. They’d never seen Severus like Harry did until today. Harry got jealous and possessive. No one was allowed to look at Severus like that. No one, except him. 

“Let’s go to the balcony,” Harry said, terribly jealous.

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Why are you angry? You were the one who insisted that I come to this stupid party. You even yelled at me!”

Harry mumbled something impolite. He had done exactly that, and now he regretted it. He took Severus’ hand and pulled him towards the balcony. 

“Piss off!” he exclaimed to the couple that was making out in the shadows, making them jump from fright and run back to the dance hall. 

Severus’ bit his lips to prevent himself from laughing. He found it hilarious when Harry lost control like that. 

“What’s with the attitude?” Severus asked. 

“It’s you! You drive me crazy!” Harry crossed his arms. “You look so… so…”

Severus scowled. “So… what?”

“You look stunning,” Harry declared angrily, even though he knew he shouldn’t be. “And they’ve finally noticed that. Didn’t you recognise the looks on their faces? Didn’t you see the desire in their eyes? Bloody hell! Even my best friends were checking you out!” 

Severus was surprised with the sudden rampant of jealousy, but he smiled involuntarily. “Really?”

That smile made Harry even angrier. “Really. I bet you love all the attention, don’t you?”

Severus sneered. “I didn’t have time to enjoy it. I just got here.”

“Then go on and enjoy it.”

“You’re jealous! That’s so ridiculous!” Severus said with a grin. If Harry wasn’t so infuriated, he would have noticed the smile, and he would realise the magnitude of that.

“I’m not jealous!” 

“And did you just say that your best friends were checking me out?” Severus went on as if Harry hadn’t said anything. “You mean… Granger and…”

“Ron.”

“Weasley?” Severus was shocked. 

“Yes,” Harry answered, annoyed. “It’s a long story. Don’t ask.”

“So the rumours were true. He was your first!”

Harry gasped in surprise. “WHAT? Who told you that?”

“It was a long time ago.” Severus leaned against the wall. “I heard Draco telling a few Slytherins that you and Weasley were too intimate to be just friends.”

“Ron and I are just friends. He wasn’t my first. He was actually very straight until recently... Someone made a move on him, and I think now he’s confused.”

“Isn’t that cute?” Severus smirked, and then he frowned. “I hope it wasn’t you.”

Harry looked at him, incredulous. “Me? Do you think I was the one who made him feel confused? Now that’s ridiculous!”

“You were the one thinking about picking strangers up in bars,” Severus pointed out coldly.

Harry sneered. “Who’s jealous now?”

Severus made a face. “For your information, I’m not jealous. I think jealousy is just a childish feeling. If you don’t trust your partner, you shouldn’t be with them in the first place.”

“Wow. I never thought I’d hear such wise words coming from you,” Harry sniggered. 

“Just shut up,” Severus replied, upset.

Harry looked at the beautiful landscape ahead. It had started snowing. He smiled, thinking that he wouldn’t have to drop Severus in Siberia after all. He felt Severus stopping behind him and wrapping his arms around Harry. Their fingers entwined. He closed his eyes as Severus kissed the top of his head. He cursed in thought. He couldn’t resist Severus when he acted so tenderly. 

“Why were you so upset this morning?” Severus asked. “Was it just because I didn’t want to come?” 

Harry shook his head. “I just... I realised I wanted us to do all the silly things that couples do.”

Severus scowled. “You mean kissing and holding hands in public?”

“Not just that. I want everything.”

Severus grip on his fingers loosened up a little bit. “I can’t be that way, and you know it.”

Harry sighed sadly. “I know. Why did you come here anyway?”

Severus made Harry turned around to face him. “I came here to be with you,” Severus muttered. “I shouldn’t have behaved so irrationally this morning. It’s just a stupid party after all. Besides, I couldn’t miss a chance to bother Longbottom, could I?”

Harry smiled feebly. “It’s his wedding. Don’t spoil things for him. He’s so happy.”

“What about you? Are you happy?”

Harry’s eyes flinched. “I... I am.”

“Are you happy with me?” Severus asked in a whisper. “Or are you still waiting for me to change?”

“No! I don’t want you to change!”

“Yes, you do. I know you feel disappointed every time I don’t tell you what you want to hear. I don’t know why it’s so important to you. They’re just words, Harry.” Harry looked down, and Severus put some distance between them. “I heard those same words from Lupin, and they didn’t prevent him from leaving me.”

Harry felt irritated to hear that about Remus. Even though Remus had never interfered in their relationship, Harry was still jealous of him. “He didn’t leave you,” he pointed out. “You were the one who stopped talking to him after that awful incident. Is this about Remus? Are you saying that you still love him?” Harry’s hands started to tremble. 

“No! You’re such a fool!” Severus replied angrily. “I’m just trying to point out that words don’t change things if they aren’t meant to be!”

“Right. I get it!” Harry snapped. “But I still want to hear them! I’m foolish, remember?”

“What if I don’t say it? What are you going to do? Leave? Is this how it’s going to work? Blackmail?”

Harry seemed taken aback. “No... No! Of course not.”

“But you will leave, won’t you?”

Harry clutched his fists. “Do you want me to?”

Severus grimaced. “Again, answering a question with another one. How bloody predictable.”

Harry shot him an angry look. “No, I won’t leave! I won’t leave because I have no pride! Are you satisfied?”

“No.” Severus saw tears in Harry’s eyes, and his heart broke. He took a step forward and tried to touch Harry, but the younger man pushed him away. Severus tried again, and Harry stopped struggling. He wrapped his arms around his neck, burying his head in Severus’ shoulder. 

Severus sighed as he held Harry tight. “I don’t want you to lose your pride, Harry. I don’t want you to accept things just to be with me. I want you to be happy, and if you aren’t happy with me, then we’ll have to break up.” 

Harry cried silently. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Severus didn’t want that, either, but he had to let Harry go. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

Harry shook his head. “Was that why you came here? To break my heart?”

“No. But love isn’t a sacrifice, Harry, and if it is, it shouldn’t be. I don’t want you to sacrifice your soul just to be with an old bastard like me.”

Harry stared at Severus. “How can you say that? I love you! It isn’t a sacrifice! I love all that you are! So I get sad sometimes, but that’s part of a relationship. We have great moments together. I won’t leave you. I can’t. I love you too much. I even love the way you wrinkle your nose when you’re upset with something. Everybody has ups and downs. Our ups more than compensate for our downs. If being with you brought me nothing but pain I wouldn’t be here.”

Severus’ eyes flickered. “Are you serious?”

“You healed me. Thanks to you, I’m getting over my nightmares. I don’t miss Soporiferum like I used to.”

“That’s gratitude, Harry, not love!” Severus exclaimed, upset.

“It’s gratitude and love. It is true that I want more from you. Sometimes I feel tired of waiting. But in the end, my love for you more than makes up for that. You surprised me many times. I know a part of you that no one does because you showed it to me. Even though you’re still cold, you let me be a part of your life. So I haven’t lost hope. I’m still waiting... And I always will. Just don’t ask me to leave, because I won’t. Unless you don’t want me anymore...” Harry said, looking down. He didn’t know what he would do if Severus didn’t want him.

“I still can’t understand why you love me, but... if you’re sure you can endure my mood swings...”

Harry looked up hopefully. “Yes?”

“I came here to ask you something. Do you know why I was so upset with you this morning?”

“Well, I annoyed you to the end...”

Severus smiled. “Yes, but it wasn’t just because of that. I’m getting used to your annoying side.” 

Harry snorted. “You can be really annoying, too...”

Severus stroked Harry’s face and wiped away the remaining tears from his cheeks. “I’ve been thinking that since you spend more time in my room than yours… Well… You should move in with me,” Severus said hastily. “I already talked to Dumbledore and he said he didn’t mind. I… That was why I was so edgy today. I didn’t know how to ask you, and it really pissed me off. It’d be easier for us, and you wouldn’t have to sneak out every morning like we were living a sordid affair… I know it’s–” Severus’ sentence was cut off abruptly by Harry’s kiss on his lips. 

Harry felt as if he had been knocked off his feet. Severus had surprised him once again. Harry found it lovely the way Severus seemed suddenly shy and anxious. 

“Yes, yes,” Harry whispered. “I’d love to move in with you. But you have to keep calling me Harry with this soft and sexy tone of voice. You have to stop calling me Potter. It’s really infuriating.” Harry kissed him eagerly and then punched Severus’ arm. 

“Ouch!” Severus looked at him shocked. “What was that for?”

“Why did you have to freak me out like that?” Harry complained. “You made me cry!” 

Severus rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean to, but I had to make sure that you knew exactly how you felt.”

“I do know how I feel! I’ve known it for a long time! You’re the one with issues!” Harry exclaimed.

“All right, I am,” Severus admitted, upset. “But I never lived with anyone before, so I need to make sure that you won’t leave after our first fight. And believe me, with your stupidity and my bad temper we’ll fight a lot. This is a huge step for me, Potter,” Harry opened his mouth to protest and Severus corrected himself, “I mean, Harry. This is a huge step, and I want you to be sure of your decision before accepting it.” 

“My answer is yes. I don’t have to think about it.”

Severus made a face. “You don’t think at all, do you?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Here we go…”

“I’m just saying that you should think more about your actions.”

“Blah-blah-blah.” 

“Potter!”

“What?”

“Stop being so immature or I’ll change my mind.”

Harry frowned. “Who’s being immature, me or you? You were the one who scared me first instead of just asking me a simple question!”

“It wasn’t simple!”

“Of course it was!”

“Not for me!” 

“All right, it’s not easy. But you didn’t have to terrify me first!” Harry replied. 

Severus grumbled. “Brat.” 

“Git!” 

They stared at each other, and suddenly Harry laughed about the ridiculousness of their situation. Severus’ solemn expression relaxed a little, and he smiled. His smile always had the power to dazzle Harry so rare it was. It was amazing the way Severus’ expression changed when he smiled. He didn’t resemble at all the cool Potions Master that terrified his students. 

“We’ll be fine,” Harry stated enlacing Severus' waist tenderly.

“I love you,” Severus said at the same time.

Harry stopped breathing. “What?”

Severus looked as stunned as he was. The sudden declaration had startled them both. It seemed as if they were both living a dream. Harry couldn’t break their gaze. He needed to make sure that he had heard it right, that he was awake. His heart had suddenly just stopped working.

“Sev…” 

Severus swallowed hard, averting Harry’s eyes. He was trembling slightly. 

“Did you just say…?” Harry muttered.

“Yes,” Severus said. 

Harry just stared at him, his eyes fully open. And then he burst, “ARGH!” 

“What?” Severus asked, astonished.

“You’re sick, aren’t you? I mean, first, you ask me to live with you, then you say you love me. Are you sick?” 

Severus felt like hitting Harry. “Don’t be foolish! Why do people always assume that I’m sick?” 

Harry smiled sweetly. “Perhaps it’s because you never say things like this, and when you do, you surprise us.”

“Nonsense.” 

Harry latched himself onto Severus’ neck, making him out of balance. Severus smiled as he buried his nose in Harry’s soft hair. 

“Did it hurt?” Harry asked.

“What?”

“Did it hurt to admit that you love me?” 

Severus grimaced. “Don’t push it.” 

Harry laughed, and Severus’ heart melted. Their lips brushed, teasing one another until they met fervently. Severus leaned Harry against the wall, rubbing their bodies sensually. Harry threw his head back as he felt Severus’ nipping his neck tenderly with his teeth, and then licking it. Harry’s hand stroked Severus’ bulge and that was the sign for them to stop.

“We can’t do this here,” Severus muttered. 

Harry sighed loudly. “You’re right.”

Harry rested his head on Severus’ shoulder and cuddled him. Severus didn’t tense as he once did. He brought Harry closer and kissed the top of his head. Harry couldn’t imagine a moment as perfect as that. He was more than just happy. Severus was finally his, body and soul. 

“Could you say it again?” Harry asked him softly.

“Say what?”

“That you love me.”

Severus chuckled but didn’t say anything. 

“Please? Don’t be mean!” Harry exclaimed.

Severus cupped Harry’s face. “I’ll say it again when I feel like it.”

Harry sighed, frustrated. “Well, I supposed it was too much to ask for, anyway. I just had to give it a try.”

“You really are growing up,” Severus taunted. 

“Don’t start.” Harry leaned against Severus body and cuddled him tightly. “You surprised me today. I thought you’d let your ageing complex spoil our relationship.”

“I still think you’re too young, but the truth is that I’m too selfish to let you go.”

Harry stared at him in disbelief. “You were ready to let me go just a few minutes ago!”

“Yes, I was, but I’d only give you up if you were with me for gratitude. I won’t let you go just because I’m older than you.”

Harry was touched by the sudden confession. “So you need me.”

“I need you,” Severus whispered, his voice failing. 

Severus had overdone it with his confessions, but now that he had put most of his feelings out in the open, he was actually feeling relieved. It was like a very heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He felt great for the first time in his life. He actually had a chance to be happy. He was as terrified as ever before. However, he wouldn’t let that chance pass him by. 

“I’m going to spend Christmas in Rome, and I want you to come with me,” Severus said, trying to look like he didn’t care. 

“Really?” Harry didn’t seem to believe him. How could he? That fragile man in front of him didn’t resemble anything of the old Severus Snape. 

Severus grimaced, “Yes, Potter, really.”

Harry sighed. The old Severus was starting to come back. 

“I’d love to go, but you have to stop calling me Potter!” he demanded. 

Severus shrugged. “Old habits die hard.” 

“I’m sure they do…” 

Harry didn’t mind, though. He knew that was all an act. Severus loved him. They’d go on a trip together to one of the most romantic places in the whole world, and afterwards, they’d share the same quarters not just for a few nights, but forever. He grinned, and Severus looked at him as if he had gone insane. 

“Why are you smiling like that?”

“It’s because of you!” Harry chuckled at Severus outraged expression, and then he said playfully, “Sometimes you’re cute.”

“Ha-ha. Very funny.”

Harry kissed Severus making his hardened expression soften. They stayed entangled in each other’s arms for a long time. 

“Harry…” Severus whispered close to his ear, making him shiver. 

“Call me that again,” Harry pleaded.

“Harry.” 

Their lips met once again. 

“Am I dreaming?” Harry asked, bewitched. 

“Do you want me to pinch you?” Severus asked teasingly. 

“No. If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up yet.”

Severus chuckled. “Tacky as ever…”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

A song started to play in the background. Severus shot Harry a meaningful look.

“Do you want to dance?” Harry asked, surprised.

“Why not?”

“I just… This is definitely a dream, isn’t it?” 

“Who cares?” 

Their bodies started moving along with the song, and the melody floated all around them. Harry closed his eyes, the soft touches and kisses from Severus making him drift. Dancing with Severus seemed like walking on clouds. His dancing skills had improved a lot ever since Severus had started teaching him. He’d never thought that to dance with someone could be so romantic. He never thought it could feel so good, so right. 

The music went on, and Harry’s head started spinning as Severus kissed him. 

He wasn’t just walking in clouds, he thought. He was in heaven.


	7. Part 7

PART 7

Severus scowled as he glanced at the naked form of Harry spread all over their bed. As tempting as it was, it made him rather upset. Once again, Harry was late for work, and Severus was tired of being his personal clock. One would think that Harry would have learned Severus’ habits by now. Severus hated to be late for anything, and since Harry was living with him, he should also learn how to be punctual. But instead, it was Severus who got used to Harry’s bad habits. 

‘Did you really get used to it, Severus?’ he asked himself, making a face. ‘You did, didn’t you? How stupid of you… But this is the last time.’

He walked towards the bed, wondering if he should summon a bucket of freezing water. As he got closer, his heart softened. Harry seemed like the perfect image of innocence. Even his soft snoring was angelic. Severus’ eyes scanned Harry’s body, feeling the familiar heat between his legs. He shook his head. He would be the one in need of a bucket of freezing water if he didn’t stop gazing at Harry like that.

He sat down next to Harry and shook him slightly. 

“Harry?” he called. Harry said something like ‘pisszz off’, and Severus frowned. He insisted, shaking Harry’s shoulder more insistently, “Harry!” 

Harry slapped his hand off his shoulder as if Severus was an annoying bug. That did it for him, who felt his familiar anger rising. 

“POTTER!” he shouted with a tone of voice that would wake the dead. 

Harry opened his eyes and sat on the bed instantly, trying to make sense of the world. “What? When? Why?” he asked with sleepy eyes. “Where’s the fire? Should I get my wand?” he paused, and then he said, “No fire... I’ll just get back to sleep.” He flopped backwards in bed and yawned, his fuzzy eyes meeting Severus’. He smiled lazily. “Hi, Sev!”

Severus sighed. He’d watched that show a thousand times before. Sometimes he found it funny, sometimes it was just annoying. 

“It’s time to wake up,” Severus said impatiently, handing Harry his glasses. 

Harry put them on and got up. He stretched, and when he finally woke up for good, he stared at Severus with his sweet green eyes widely open. And then, as Severus predicted already, he blushed and ran to the bathroom. 

They have been together for eight months now. Harry wasn’t shy at all when they were making love, but the moment morning came, a strange shyness came upon him, and he always ran to the bathroom flushed from head to toe. Severus had asked him what that was all about many times, but Harry refused to tell him. He found out later – eavesdropping on a conversation between Hermione, Ron and Harry – that Harry thought his body was too skinny, so he felt uncomfortable to be naked in front of Severus. Severus had shaken his head and smiled, muttering ‘fool’ to himself, while Ron had laughed his heart out and Hermione had tried to comfort him. 

Severus wanted to tell him that Harry's body was just perfect; Harry shouldn’t worry about it. In fact, Severus loved all of it. But that would raise too many questions. And even if he did say something, Harry wouldn’t believe him. He knew Harry’s stubborn personality like no one else. 

What Severus did very often was to praise Harry’s body every chance he got when they were in bed together, or simply get naked around Harry himself so they could get used to one another. The last one had turned out to be very tricky, because it was Severus who felt relaxed when they were together, not the other way around, and that annoyed him to no end. There was definitely something wrong in a world where Harry had intimacy problems instead of Severus. 

He watched as Harry got out of the bathroom, dressed with his pants only. Severus didn’t hold his tongue this time. The words came out before he could do something about them. “You’re body is just fine!”

Harry stared at him, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

Severus walked towards him, stopping inches away. “I’m talking about this stupid shyness of yours!”

Harry frowned as he randomly picked up a T-shirt from the closet. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Severus shook his head, took the t-shirt from Harry’s hand, put it back in the closet and pulled out another one, handing it to Harry. “That one was too old and crumpled,” he explained. Harry put the new T-shirt on while Severus went on, “I’m talking about the way you run to the bathroom every morning when you realise you’re naked in front of me. Why is that?”

Harry’s face turned scarlet. “I don’t–” he stopped as Severus glared at him. “Alright. I do.”

“Why?”

Harry tried to avoid Severus’ question by looking for his dark blue robe in the closet, but Severus already had it in his hands. Harry took it as he answered, “I don’t like my body, alright?”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t!” Harry snapped. He looked for his watch at the bedside table, finding it in Severus’ hand again. “I’m too bony, too clumsy...” Harry combed his hair with unnecessary force. He looked around and jumped as Severus held his snitch pendant in front of his eyes. “Like I was saying,” he went on as he put his pendant around his neck with the help of Severus, “you’re always looking at me in a funny way when I’m naked, and it makes me feel so inadequate that–”

“I do not!” Severus protested, and then pondered, “Do I?”

“Yes! And then I look at you, and you have such a great body...”

“I have scars all over!” Severus said as if that qualified him as an abomination. 

“Yes, and they are sexy!” Harry complained. “My scar is just creepy!”

Severus snorted. “You’re playing with me, aren’t you? Sexy... What a joke.”

Harry looked into Severus’ eyes and said, “I’m not joking. I do find your scars sexy.”

“You’re a very strange man.”

Harry made a face. “I never said I wasn’t.” He looked around and frowned. “Where’s my...” he stopped as he saw his briefcase with Severus. He took it and headed for his desk in the living room. “And where’s my...” he jumped again as Severus handed him his students’ essays. “And my...” The pop quiz he had done the night before was handed to him by Severus before he could even finish his question. Again. He stared at Severus puzzled but amazed. 

“You leave your things spread all over. Lucky for you, I pay attention to your mess,” Severus stated. 

“You’re paying too much attention,” Harry said teasingly. 

“What are you suggesting?” Severus had a hidden warning in his question.

Harry smiled. “It’s amazing the way you know me; the way you take care of me.” Harry’s heart filled up with love and affection. “I finally realise what intimacy really is about!”

Severus flushed slightly. “Don’t be stupid, Potter.”

Harry rolled his eyes at the mention of his last name. Severus only did that now when he was upset with him. 

“I don’t have time to discuss the matter with you now. Where’s my wand?” Harry asked.

Severus tossed it to him. “You should take care of your wand more properly! This isn’t a toy, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Harry opened up the drawer of his desk and made a desolate expression. 

“If you’re looking for your chocolate frog, I already put it in your briefcase,” Severus said like it was the most trivial thing. 

Harry stared at him, his eyes brightening up. “You did?”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Yes. I know you have this stupid tendency to eat it between classes. I also added to your briefcase a very good book about dark creatures. You should use it in your class today. I know you like that other one, but it isn’t the best about the matter, and you should always use the best, Harry.”

Harry felt his irritation rising, but he said nothing. He told himself that Severus was just trying to help him. It wasn’t annoying, but sweet. It was true that Harry didn’t like when Severus told him what to do in his classes, but he always made a huge effort not to lose patience. After all, he could just pretend to listen and go on with his life without having to fight about it. 

“Thanks,” Harry said, looking at his watch. “FUCK! I’m so late!” He walked towards the door in a hurry and stumbled, almost falling to the ground. Unfortunately, his knee wasn’t so lucky. He hit it against an umbrella stand that was near the door as he clumsily steadied himself, and he yelled in pain.

Severus ran to him immediately and asked, “Are you ok?”

Harry made a face. “Yes. I told you I’m clumsy... My body is just one of my several problems...”

Severus cupped Harry’s face and muttered, “There’s nothing wrong with your body. The way I look at you is just to state the desire I feel for you. I’m sorry if you understood differently. If you’re the one having intimacy issues instead of me, then we have a problem. I like you just the way you are, Harry. You don’t have to worry about your body. I like everything about it.” Severus blushed slightly and then cleared his throat. “Are you really ok?”

Harry was looking at him in adoration. His knee wasn’t even hurting anymore. 

“Yes, I am,” he answered Severus sweetly.

“Ok.” Severus massaged Harry’s knee. Harry closed his eyes and moaned, making Severus smiled. He stood up, kissed Harry’s temple softly, and then, realising how sappy he was looking, he pulled out his annoyed face and pushed a very confused Harry away. “Off you go now! You’re too late already. By the way, we’ll have to talk about this, too. I’m not your personal clock, Harry! You must learn some discipline once and for all!”

Harry just smiled. “Are you going to punish me?” he asked teasingly. 

Severus crossed his arms. “I’m serious.”

“And sexy.”

Severus snorted. “Just go. Oh, wait. Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Harry frowned. He couldn’t think of anything he had forgotten, unless... He knew he was about to make a big fool of himself but he closed the distance between them and kissed Severus fully on the lips. The older man embraced him tightly as Harry deepened the kiss. Harry didn’t know if Severus had meant a goodbye kiss, but Harry had wanted it badly. He broke their kiss and said with cloudy eyes, “You didn’t mean a goodbye kiss, but I wanted to give you one anyway.”

Severus smiled slightly. “Brat. I did want a kiss, but not a goodbye one. It’s just a ‘see you soon’ kiss.”

Harry melted. “Really?”

“No. You did forget something.” Severus handed Harry his cloak. 

Harry sighed, defeated. “I never win! Damn you...”

Severus chuckled, and Harry felt dazzled by it. Severus’ smile was still a rare thing to see. Harry would never stop being amazing by it. He gave Severus one last kiss and headed for the door. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob and smiled mischievously as a brilliant comeback struck him. 

He turned innocently and said, “Bye, daddy!”

And before a hex could hit him, he opened the door quickly and slammed it, laughing his heart out as Severus cursed him aloud. 

Severus took a while to forget about Harry’s comeback. ‘The brat!’ he thought, infuriated. 

Harry knew he hated to be called that. Harry had had the guts to call him that only twice before. Just because he knew where Harry kept all of his possessions, and just because he praised Harry when he did something right and berated him when he was being lazy and irresponsible, it didn’t mean he was behaving like a father. Did it? He frowned, the thought disturbing him a lot. ‘Damn you, Potter!’ 

Lovers were supposed to know every little detail about the others’ habits and personality, and they also had the right to nag about things when they were wrong. 

Why did Harry have to tell him one day that Severus seemed ready to be a father? The idea wouldn’t leave his thoughts. He didn’t want to be a father, did he? No way. He wasn’t fit to be one. He didn’t like children. They were annoying. But then, he’d always found Harry annoying, and that didn’t make him any less cute. If only Harry hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t be thinking about his desire to be a father. Because he didn’t want to be one. Harry would have to pay for his insolence. Again. Severus smiled at the thought.

He would deal with Harry later. Right now, he had to get dressed and go to Hogsmeade. He’d bought a house there. He needed to do the last arrangements before telling Harry about it. His lover would have the surprise of his life when he found out. He smiled dreamily at the thought. Harry probably wouldn’t believe that he had bought a house for both of them to live in. 

A disturbing thought occurred to him. He could almost picture Harry telling him that the house was a sign that Severus wanted to start a family. He shook his head. Harry would be wrong. Severus just wanted some privacy. He’d lived in Hogwarts for too long. A family was something that didn’t even cross his mind.

Peace and quiet were all that he longed for in his life. And Harry, of course. He’d have that in Hogsmeade. He didn’t even have to worry so much about his classes because Draco had been teaching the first, second, third and fourth-year’s students instead of Severus. That gave him plenty of time to finally start enjoying his life. 

He had never been so happy. That scared him a lot. However, he was determined not to let his usual pessimism about life get in his way anymore.

As he walked to the Great Hall, he remembered that Harry had left without breakfast. He didn’t know why but the thought bothered him. And then it hit him. He did want to start a family, and Harry was to blame for that. He kept picturing a little kid with Harry’s eyes, the same insolent attitude, the same boldness, running around him, annoying him to no end. 

Severus caught himself smiling widely at the thought. The idea of starting a family suddenly didn't seem so bad after all.

\-------------------------

Harry ran to his classroom, finding his second year students talking so animatedly to one another that it took them a while to notice Harry’s presence. ‘That’s the problem of being too nice,’ Harry thought as his students kept talking even though they finally realised he was in the room. They never obeyed him the first time he asked for silence. If it was Severus, the story would be very different. 

When his students finally settled down, he started his class using Severus’ book for the first time and finding it quite good, to his surprise. He smiled as he shut it down, thinking that he should thank Severus for the tips and meant it this time.

As his students took the quiz, he let his mind drift away to Severus. Severus words about Harry's body had taken him by surprise but had pleased him to no end. It was amazing how a few words from Severus could do wonderful things to Harry’s self-esteem. Harry had always had a problem with his body, but suddenly he was seeing things differently. Severus liked everything about it. He liked Harry just the way he was. Harry stared at the ceiling dreamily. He was so happy that Severus was finally letting him in. 

The way Severus took care of him was even better than any love confession. Harry didn’t even mind that Severus still had a problem with saying ‘I love you’ because Remus had been right. His love for Harry was in every touch, every look, every gesture he made. Harry really believed Severus would be a great father. Harry had joked about it once, but he was more and more convinced of the idea. Severus wanted a family deep down. He’d deny it, of course, but Harry knew better. 

He smiled as a raven-haired kid with defiant black eyes appeared on his imagination. A little Severus running around him, annoying him to no end, was all it took for Harry to go ‘AW!’, making his students stare at him as if he had gone mad. He cleared his throat and told himself to come back to earth. 

The rest of the morning ran smoothly. At noon, he remembered that Severus wouldn’t have lunch with him that day. Severus seemed pretty mysterious about an appointment in Hogsmeade, and the curiosity was eating Harry alive. But since Severus told him he had a surprise for him, he wasn’t worried but rather excited. 

He entered the Great Hall beaming like a fool, and met Ron and Neville already waiting for him.

“So the old bat has a surprise for you, huh?” Ron said as they sat by the table. “A new lover perhaps?”

“Ha-ha. You’re such a funny lad, Ron,” Harry said, showing Ron the finger. As a payback, he smiled evilly as he exclaimed, “Oh, look! There’s Malfoy. Poor lad is eating all by himself. Should I call him to join us?” 

Ron choked on his pumpkin juice. Harry and Neville chuckled softly.

“Don’t even joke about this!” Ron exclaimed, glancing at Draco sitting at the other side of the teacher’s table. Their eyes met. Draco smirked and Ron looked the other way, flushed from head to toe. “Conceited git! Why does he have to look at me like that?”

“I think he likes you,” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah,” Neville agreed. 

“WHAT? No way. He only likes himself.”

“And I think you feel something for him, too,” Harry went on as if Ron had said nothing.

Ron smirked. “Don’t be stupid, Harry. The only thing I feel like doing with him is kicking his ass.”

“I don’t think you want to kick his ass, Ron. I think you want his ass for something else,” Neville teased.

Ron looked at Neville horrified. Harry was surprised to hear Neville talking like that, but once he got over his shock, he laughed his heart out. 

“That wasn’t funny, Neville. One more word and I’ll tell Ginny where my brothers took you a day before the wedding,” Ron grunted.

Neville’s face turned different shades of red. “It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t want to go. They kidnapped me!”

Ron grimaced. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Why don’t you just admit that you want Malfoy?” Harry let it out.

Ron rolled his eyes. “Oh, please! I’m straight, Harry.”

“You said you were confused,” Harry pointed out. “And I’m almost sure that the man you slept with was him. Come on! Admit it! It was Malfoy! You fucked Draco Malfoy!”

Ron’s face was so red that Harry wouldn’t be surprised if steam started to come out of his ears. “I... This is... How... ARGH!” Ron banged his hands on the table, and everyone looked at him with curiosity. “I haven’t... I would never sleep with him! It was only a kiss!”

“AHÁ!” Harry exclaimed in triumph. “I knew it was him who had come on to you!”

Ron lay down his head on the table and sighed. “Fuck you, Harry. It was a mistake, all right? He kissed me. It wasn’t my fault.”

“But you liked it!”

“So?”

Harry made Ron raise his head so their eyes could be at the same level. “I didn’t like Severus either, but he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Why don’t you give Draco a chance? He does look more mature. And he helped us against Voldemort.”

“I...” Ron shook his head. “No, Harry. It’s totally different. It’s Malfoy!”

“It was Snape!” Harry retorted. “The old bat who used to make our potions’ classes a living hell.”

“Still... I like girls.”

“Malfoy is kind of effeminate, don’t you think?” Neville pointed out.

Ron glared at him. “Neville, don’t forget what I just said.” Neville closed his mouth obediently. 

“Just think about it, Ron. Don’t let happiness slip away, even if it is Malfoy.” Harry patted his back. 

After he finished his meal, he stood up and went to the library, leaving behind a very thoughtful Ron. 

The library was almost empty, except for two boys chuckling at a corner – looking at a book that Harry was almost positive it was a porn magazine – and two girls lifting a heavy book of Herbology. Harry recognised one of the girls as Lydia Abbot. 

Harry didn’t know Lydia’s thoughts about his relationship with Severus, or even if she knew about it, but she still smiled and greeted Harry when they saw each other, and that was a good sign. Harry never saw malice in her eyes when they met. Lydia kept living her life normally. Rumours were that she was dating the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and she was very happy about it. 

He was about to say ‘hi’ to them when he heard the girls talking about Severus. He immediately hid behind a shelf before the girls could see him, randomly picking up a book and pretending to be reading. He didn’t want to listen to their conversation, but his curiosity was stronger than everything else.

“So, you really don’t like him anymore?” asked the blonde girl whose name Harry didn’t remember.

“Well, I still find him a very attractive man. And ever since he started living with Professor Potter, he seemed to be more handsome than ever.” Lydia sighed dreamily. “Love… It makes people so adorably cute. Can you believe Professor Snape was actually smiling just the other day? I couldn’t believe my eyes! He’s so much in love.”

Harry beamed foolish, almost melting on the spot. 

“But didn’t you love him?” insisted the blonde. Harry waited for Lydia’s answer eagerly.

“I had a crush on him. Now I’m in love with Brad.” Another dreamy sigh was heard. “He’s just adorable.”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Everyone is adorable to you…”

Lydia just shrugged, a smile still playing on her lips. 

“I still don’t know what you see in Professor Snape. I don’t find him that handsome. Now, Professor Malfoy, that’s another story. He’s so amazing.” Harry heard a dreamily sigh, this time coming from Lydia’s friend. “I would give anything to just be alone with him for five minutes. In five minutes I’d jump on him and kiss him. It’s a perfect plan! I’m sure he wouldn’t resist me.” 

Harry chuckled softly, wondering if he should tell Ron about that. Maybe the news that a student was in love with Draco would make Ron realise what he really felt, just like it’d happened to Harry once. 

“I can totally picture Professor Malfoy as a prince or a hero. You can’t say the same about Professor Snape.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I mean, maybe he isn’t the typical hero. But… He’s something like a hero, isn’t he? No one really notices, but I do. I have this romantic idea. Silly, but romantic. I think he’s been watching over Professor Potter for many years. And there are rumours all around school that he was a Death Eater once, but he spied for the good side when his help was needed. So, to me, he’s a hero. Not the typical hero, but something like it. Something better, if you ask me.”

“You’re such a romantic fool, Lydia.”

“Shut up, Adeline.” 

Harry was touched by Lydia’s words. Severus really was that way. He wasn’t the typical hero, but something like it. And now Severus meant so much more than just a hero in Harry’s life. Severus was his lover, his love, his everything. 

Lydia’s words made him want to see Severus desperately. He didn’t know exactly where Severus was in Hogsmeade, but he knew someone that might. Dumbledore always knew Severus’ location. He still had a free hour before his next class, so he ran to Dumbledore’s office like he had wings on his feet. When Harry got to his office, Dumbledore was amused to see him, and Harry had the slightest impression that the Headmaster had been waiting for him. Dumbledore grinned and said, “Ah! Harry! Finally. This is for you.”

Harry took a piece of parchment with an address in it and he stared at Dumbledore puzzled. “What’s this?”

“It’s Severus’ location. Isn’t that the reason why you came here?”

Harry looked even more thunderstruck. “Sir… How did you know?”

“There, there, Harry. You don’t expect me to reveal my secrets, do you? It’d spoil my fun!” Dumbledore said, grinning from an ear to another. “Just go and have fun. I’ll ask for Remus to fill up your next class.”

“Really?” Harry grinned. “Thank you, Sir!” 

‘This kind of thing only happens in Hogwarts,’ Harry thought as he made his way to Hogsmeade. 

\---------------------------

Harry stopped only two steps away from the big oak door of a beautiful colonial house located at the west end of Hogsmeade not sure of what to expect. Now that he was there, he wondered if he had done the right thing. He was almost certain that Severus would be mad at him, even though he didn’t know why he felt so uneasy. As Severus opened the door after he knocked, he wasn’t wrong in his assumptions. 

“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” Severus asked angrily, his face flushing.

“Dumbledore told me,” Harry said hastily. 

Severus scolded. “I should have known... The old bastard. And you... I knew you wouldn’t wait until tonight. You’re so bloody predictable.”

“Hey!” Harry looked at him indignantly. “I’m not predictable.”

Severus crossed his arms. “You’re also bloody impulsive! And impatient!” 

“Preposterous!” Harry protested. “For your information, I just came here to... to...” Harry sighed, his shoulders curving as if he was carrying something heavy. “You’re right. I couldn’t wait.” Harry felt irritated as Severus made a jubilant expression. “But not because of the surprise! I missed you,” he confessed softly. “I heard this conversation about you and then I felt the need to be with you.”

Severus felt his heart melting as usual, but he refused to get emotional. Harry’s honesty still had the power to catch him unprepared. “Who was talking about me?”

“Lydia Abbot and a friend of hers. She said something about you that touched me deeply.”

“Oh? And what was that?” Severus asked with interest.

“That you’re something like a hero. You’re better than a hero, actually.” Harry smiled. 

Severus made a face. “Hero? Me? You and Miss Abbot are…”

“Don’t say fools or I’ll hex you!” Harry threatened. 

“Lunatics, then. You both have a wild imagination. I’m nothing like a hero.”

“She didn’t say you were. She said you were something like it,” Harry pointed out teasingly. 

“Fool…” Severus muttered, his face reddening slightly. 

“Actually, you’re the real thing, Severus. You do things to help people, but you don’t let them know. You’d rather let people think you’re a bad guy, when in fact, you are nothing like that.” Harry caressed Severus’ face softly. “But now I know. That’s what I love about you. You’re such a wonderful man.”

Severus blushed violently, and he gave his back at Harry. He wasn’t used to being praised like that. Even though he liked to hear those words, especially coming out of Harry’s mouth, he felt very uncomfortable. The Headmaster had always found Severus’ shyness amusing. Severus only found it mortifying. 

“Just shut up and come in,” Severus muttered, walking away with a sulked expression.

Harry chuckled. Severus was the only person Harry knew that didn’t know how to take a compliment well. He found it adorable. 

“Aren’t we sensitive today?” Harry teased. 

Severus mumbled something Harry didn’t understand, but that sounded a lot like ‘stupid brat’. He smiled, thinking that he wasn’t the only one who was predictable. 

As he entered the house, he was amazed by it. It looked just like the one he’d always imagined in his dreams. It was a cosy place, somewhere to call home. He wondered what Severus was doing there and who owned it.

“Sev!” Harry shouted as Severus vanished behind a large door. “Whose house is this? Why are you here?”

“This will be our house from now on,” Severus said as he saw Harry standing in the doorway of the place it’d be his new office. “It should have been a surprise, but since you were kind enough to spoil it, there’s no need to hide it anymore.” 

“O-our h-house? You... You bought a house... for... us?” Harry stuttered, too amazed to speak normally. 

“Yes.” Harry’s mouth hung open for a long time. He was in a state of shock. 

Severus frowned. “I didn’t think this would be your reaction. I thought you’d jump at me and thank me endlessly.” 

Severus didn’t know why he felt a little irritated that Harry hadn’t done exactly that. He was disappointed. He wanted Harry to be happy, not flabbergasted. 

Harry took a while to process what had just happened. The moment he finally took it all in, his eyes shone brightly and he beamed. He ran towards Severus and wrapped his arms around his neck, making them unbalanced. 

“Thank you,” Harry whispered emotionally. “I’m sorry for ruining your surprise.”

Severus smiled, holding Harry tight. “It’s ok. Did you like it?”

“Are you kidding me?” Harry cupped Severus’ face. For a long time, they just stared into each others' eyes. “I love it. The house is beautiful.”

“You haven’t seen it all.”

“Just the fact that you bought us a house means more to me than you’ll ever know,” Harry said emotionally.

Severus shrugged trying not to make a big deal out of it, but deep down he was feeling as emotional as Harry, if not more. He cleared his throat and asked, “Do you want to see the rest of the house?”

“Can we go straight to the bedroom?” Harry asked suggestively. 

“Only after we finish our tour.”

“But, Sev...” Harry whined.

“Not a word, Potter. Come along,” Severus said pinching Harry’s nose tenderly and then walking away.

Harry ran after him, shouting for him to wait. As Severus showed him the entire house, Harry felt like a kid in an amusement park. He loved all of it. He couldn’t stop thinking about the meaning of it, too. Severus had bought a house for them, which meant that he was ready to commit forever. Severus had once and for all accepted the ‘annoying brat’ in his life. Harry couldn’t be happier, and he let it show clearly in every smile. Harry was so excited about decorating the house that he didn’t notice Severus’ blissful expression. 

“... And this will be our bedroom!” Harry exclaimed as they entered a large room on the second floor. “It’s so perfect!” He looked at Severus beaming. 

“I’m glad you like it.”

Harry smiled as he finally noticed Severus’ content expression. As their eyes locked, Harry said emotionally, “Sev, thanks. Thanks for buying this house for us. I’m so sorry for ruining your surprise.”

“It’s all right.” Severus looked suddenly shy. “Actually, I’m glad you’re here.” Severus looked the other way, and Harry wondered what that was about.

“Sev?”

“I’ve been thinking...” Severus began carefully. “What do you think... about kids?”

Harry looked at him puzzled. “Kids?”

“You said I was ready to be a father. Are you?” Severus asked.

“Er...” Harry didn’t know what to say. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing and ruining the moment. He’d promised Severus to always be honest with him, so he decided to let his heart speak for him. “I like kids. And I’d love to start a family with you. I never had a real family, so it’d be nice to... have one. But as much as I want a little Severus, I won’t push it. I... just want to be with you, and if that means that it’ll only be the two of us... I’m all for that. I love you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

The moment that last sentence came out of his mouth, Harry knew he had made a mistake. Severus seemed to be very angry with him.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t just accept things because of me? You’re entitled to your own desires! You know I don’t like it when you say things like that! You don’t have to do what I want!” Severus exclaimed. “You have to tell me exactly what you want!”

Harry crossed his arms, irritated. “Why do you always make such a big deal out of this? Why do you think it’s so wrong for me to want to please you? I’d love to have a child, but I’m not obsessive about it! I just want you and that’s enough for me. When you love someone you want to make the person you’re with happy.” Severus seemed ready to protest, but Harry didn’t let him. “No! Let me finish! Don’t you get it? Your happiness is my happiness, too. When are you going to accept that I love you without restrictions? You are loved, Severus! No matter how much you try to rationalise my love for you in order to deny it, you won’t succeed. I love you. Deal with it!”

Severus was taken aback. He always felt like that when he confronted Harry’s honesty. No matter how many times he kept telling himself that he was prepared for everything, when it came to Harry he was never prepared. Harry did have a point. It was Severus who still couldn’t deal with the fact that he was loved. He still thought that he didn’t deserve to be loved by Harry. 

Harry knew by now that when Severus went after him like that it was because he was about to open his heart to him. For a person like Severus that wasn’t easy. That was why he took a step towards Severus and rested his head on his chest. Severus held Harry and kissed the top of his head with a resigned sigh. 

“I…,” Severus began. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” 

Harry knew how much that confession had cost him, so he rewarded Severus with a tender kiss on his lips. He felt Severus’ fingertips drawing small circles on his back. 

“I love you,” Harry whispered. “Please, believe me.”

Severus cupped Harry’s face and smiled feebly. “I do believe you. It’s just… I…” Severus took a deep breath before continuing, “I never knew love, only pain. Love and pain were always associated in my mind, and then you came along and made me realise I was wrong. I was never this happy. Sometimes I feel a little insecure. I wonder if I’m living a dream.”

“Who’s the fool now, huh?” Harry asked softly. “This isn’t a dream. I’m here. I’m going nowhere. You better believe me, because I’m here to stay for a long, long time.”

Severus smiled. “Of course you are. After all, you are a brat.” Harry stuck out his tongue at him and Severus captured it with his mouth, kissing him passionately until they were both out of breath. “Harry… Did you talk to your therapist about me?”

Harry reddened. “Er… No?” Harry could tell with one look that Severus hadn’t believed him. “Maybe I did… a little. He made me realise a few things. But I was the one who came up with the theory that you hide behind your anger every time you want to tell me something important, and he was very proud of me. In fact, he told me that I’ve grown up a lot; that I’m overcoming my problems maturely. I have you to thank for that.

“Why are you mad, Sev? Is it because of the house?” Harry asked.

Severus was, in some ways. To buy a house for both of them was a big step. It was as big as marriage, but that wasn’t the only thing bothering him. The fact was that Severus did want to have a child even though he was terrified about it. 

“I...” Severus sighed. “I hate to admit it, but you’re right. I do hide behind my anger.”

“Maybe you should do some therapy. You sure have a lot more issues than I do.”

Severus felt his anger rising at the suggestion, but he held himself in check. After all, Harry was just trying to help him. It wasn't as if Harry didn't have a point.

“I’ll think about it,” Severus said with an unpleasant face that he couldn’t hide. Harry chuckled.

“That’s what I say when you suggest me books for my classes,” Harry said amusedly. “And I’m usually very pissed off on the inside. But do you know what? You were right. The book you gave me today was very good. Thank you. And this time I mean it.”

Severus scowled. “So you don’t like my suggestions?”

Harry bit his lips, looking the other way. “Er... Of course I do!”

“Potter...”

Harry rolled his eyes at the tone of voice, muttering to himself, “Here we go.”

“I only suggest things to improve your classes, not just to annoy you! I do know what I’m talking about! After all, I know a lot about Dark Arts. If you only stopped being so immature you’d see that I only want to–”

“Sev?” 

“What?”

“I love you.”

That simple sentence whispered in the cutest way disarmed Severus completely, and he sighed, defeated. He pulled Harry to his body and kissed him. Then, as they stared, forehead to forehead, Severus whispered softly, “Idiot. I love you, too.” 

Harry’s eyes shone brightly. He opened his mouth to speak, but Severus just shook his head, placing a finger on Harry’s reddened lips to silence him. Harry understood that Severus didn’t want him to make a fuss about it. He smiled and nodded obediently. That was the Severus he knew. 

“Sev? What do you really feel about kids?”

Severus took a while to answer. “I... I do want to be a father, but... I think we should wait. After you left this morning, I kept picturing a small version of you making my life a living hell again, getting himself in trouble every time I turn my back, finding new ways to drive me crazy, and I... I smiled.” Severus said as if that was the most absurd thing in the world. “So I realised I do want a child, but... The thing is, I want us to wait a little longer. I want you all for myself at the moment.” Severus ignored Harry’s softened expression and picked up something inside his pocket. “This is for you.” 

He took Harry’s finger and put a ring on it. Harry held his breath. His heart almost came out of his mouth. He could feel a lump in his throat, and his eyes seemed suddenly wet. He berated himself for being so stupidly emotional. “What’s this?”

“It’s a ring,” Severus smirked. “Don’t tell me you never saw one.”

Harry was so stunned that he didn’t retort. He just stared at the beautiful gold ring on his finger. “Sev…”

“Don’t make such a fuss about it.”

Harry glared at him angrily. “This… This is huge! Don’t you dare tell me this means nothing!”

Severus crossed his arms, annoyed. “It’s not like I am proposing, because this would just be ridiculous at my age.”

Harry felt like hitting him. “But this means full commitment, right?” Severus mumbled something. “Oh, come on Severus! Just for once, be a man!” 

Severus looked at Harry thunderstruck, but then he smirked. “So, I’m not man enough?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “We’re not having this conversation.”

Severus walked towards Harry and pressed him against the wall. “I can show you that I’m very manly.”

Harry suppressed a smile. “Really?”

Severus threw him such a look that Harry felt his whole body boiling. “Really.”

While their tongues battled, Severus helped Harry undress slowly. They seemed eager to feel all of each other, and the clothes were on their way. They stood in front of each other naked. Harry’s face reddened slightly. He held the urge to cover his body. Instead, he kept looking intently at Severus, who looked dazzling without any clothes on. 

“Do you really like my body?” Harry asked shyly. 

Severus couldn’t hide his smile. He took Harry’s hand in his and led it to his hard cock. Harry reddened even more. Severus was amused by it, and he whispered in Harry's ear, “See? This is the reaction I get when I look at you. Fool. Can’t you see how much I want you?” Severus kissed Harry’s earlobe softly, making him shiver. “I need you. Desperately.” 

“Talk dirty,” Harry whispered, his eyes full of desire.

There was a moment of silence, and then they burst out laughing at the same time. 

“Talk dirty?” Severus asked laughing his heart out.

Harry nodded, clinging on him not to fall. His pickup line should have sounded sexy, but it sounded comical and he didn’t care. He was enchanted by Severus clean laughter. 

“You’re lucky that I have a sense of humour, or I’d be very mad at you for laughing at me,” Harry said once he regained his breath. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just that… You looked so…”

Harry covered Severus’ mouth with his hand. “Ok. Let’s stop here or I’ll really be mad.”

Severus’ kissed and licked Harry’s hand then squeezed it. “I was just surprised. You look damn sexy.”

“No, I don’t. I’m bony.”

Severus made a thoughtful expression, and then out of the blue, he squeezed Harry’s butt, making the younger man blush. 

“Bony? I don’t think so. You have a very cute round butt.”

“Oh. So now I have a cute butt, huh?” Harry sounded amused. He grabbed Severus’ butt, too. “You also have a cute butt. Ah! You’re flushing, Severus! Now that’s cute!”

Severus made a face. “Shut up, Potter. The foreplay is over. Let’s get down to business.” 

“Was that a foreplay?” Harry asked, teasingly. 

Severus took Harry in his arms. “Yes, it was.” Then he looked around as if he had just realised something. 

“What?”

“There’s no bed, only the hard floor.”

“So?”

“So? I’m an old man. I need to be comfortable in order to perform better. Making love on the cold hard floor is for foolish young people.”

Harry chuckled. “Oh, yeah. You really are old. I’m surprised you’re managing to keep me in your arms. Isn’t your back hurting?”

Severus threw him a nasty look. “I’ll show you who’s old! And my back is just fine!”

“You were the one who started it,” Harry chuckled.

“And I’ll finish it.” Severus captured Harry’s lips and lay him down on the floor.

The love act was hurried but intense. They didn’t complain about the absence of a bed, although later Severus admitted that his back was hurting just a little. When they were satisfied, and their bodies were all sweaty, they cuddled. Harry loved the scent of Severus after sex. There was a period of comfortable silence. It didn’t take long for Harry to feel sleepy, but Severus didn’t let him close his eyes.

“Don’t you have any class this afternoon?” Severus asked.

“Remus will cover for me.”

“Harry...”

“If you say that I’m immature and that I should be more responsible with my work, I swear I’ll jinx you.”

Severus sneered. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“You should be, especially because we have to talk about this!” Harry showed Severus the ring on his finger.

Severus grunted. “I don’t feel like talking about it unless you want me to jinx you.”

“This isn’t a commitment ring, then.”

“It’s just a ring.” Harry sighed sadly, and Severus made a face. “All right. It’s a bloody commitment ring. It’s in my mother’s family for generations. This ring means full commitment, Potter. You’re bound to me now, so you better get used to it. And that’s all I’m saying to you about this subject. Now, drop it!”

Harry sat down, annoyed with the fact that Severus still irritated him when he acted like Snape, but happy that the ring was for real, that it meant their love for each other. It was even a family ring! How could Harry be angry at Severus after hearing all that?

“Are you angry?” Severus asked, sitting next to him.

Harry looked deeply into his eyes. “When this place is fully decorated, we’ll have a party. It’s settled, and you don’t have a word on this because you were mean just now!” Severus scowled and Harry smiled sweetly. “In a year or two we’ll have a baby. I’m not sure how yet, but we will.” 

“And I don’t have word on that, either.”

“You don’t. Blame it on yourself. You were the one who told me to do the things I want, right? So this is it. I want a housewarming party, and then, when we’re all settled down, I want a baby. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. Do you?”

“As long as she doesn’t have my nose, I really don’t mind.”

Harry chuckled. “Oh, I like your nose.”

“Trust me, she won’t.”

“Our boy will be called James. If it’s a girl, her name will be Lily.”

“No way!” Severus protested. “My son won’t have your father’s name, not in a million years!”

Harry stood up decisively and he went on as if Severus hadn’t said anything. “It’s settled then.”

Severus stood up, irritated. “Our son won't be called James, Potter!”

Harry just kept pacing about the room. “We could have a boy and a girl.”

“But his name won’t be James!” Severus exclaimed, walking after him. “Where the hell are you going?”

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“We don’t have towels!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You’ll be naked until you dry?”

“Yes.”

Severus smiled mischievously. “And you’ll be naked in front of me the whole time?”

“And I’ll be...” Harry stopped talking, his face flushing violently. He ran to the bathroom quickly and shut the door, locking it.

“Still shy, huh?” Severus asked as he stopped next to the door.

“I’m not shy!” Harry shouted at the other side. 

“How many times will I have to tell you that I love your body?”

Severus heard the door being unlocked, and Harry’s head appeared on the breach. “How about the rest of our lives?”

Severus shrugged. “Fine by me. Can I come in?”

“Only if you say the password,” Harry teased. 

“How about ‘idiot’?”

“Nope.” Harry closed the door again.

Severus smiled, and he was surprised to notice that instead of being upset, he was extremely happy. He didn’t know what would happen with them in the future, but he wanted to spend it with Harry by his side. Harry had changed his life. Thanks to him Severus finally knew what happiness was.

Harry opened the door and sighed. “You already gave up?”

Severus gazed at him, and said very seriously, “I love you.”

“That’s correct,” Harry said emotionally. “You can come in now.”

Severus did, and while they kissed and teased each other, he thought that Harry hadn’t actually changed him. He’d just awaken a part of him that he thought he didn’t have, but that had been there all along. Harry had awakened his capacity to love and be loved in return.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Severus and Harry love story. The next one is a oneshot about Ron and Draco. 
> 
> Hope you have enjoyed my Snarry fic. It's the only one I ever wrote, and it's one of my favourite pieces because the whole story just came to me one day. Although I'm mostly a Drarry shipper, I like to play with different pairings sometimes. 
> 
> I did start a special chapter of Something Like a Hero that was MPREG but I never finished... Oh well. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and thank you soooo much for those who left comments. <3 You have a special place in my heart.


	8. Gentle Breeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Ron/Draco oneshot fic. Because it takes place in the same universe as Something Like a Hero, I've decided to keep it here. Also, I just realised I wrote this whole fic in 2004. I feel so old.

If there was something Ron loved more than anything in the world it was how unbelievably free he felt when flying. That was the reason he took the job of Quidditch Professor at Hogwarts without hesitation. 

What he didn’t expect – not in a million years – was to have Draco Malfoy as his workmate. He was more than shocked when he saw Malfoy at the Welcoming Feast, sitting by his side with that annoying trademark smirk and being introduced as one of the new staff members along with Ron. 

Ron felt his heart beating rapidly, and his breath was unsteady and shaky. He didn’t dare look Draco in the eye. That would be too much to ask of him. After all, Draco had always tried to humiliate him when they were at school. If that wasn’t enough, Draco had the audacity to kiss Ron out of the blue one day and make him forever doubt his heterosexuality. 

Ron had always believed he was straight. He had nothing against homosexuality; his best friend was openly gay, and he was ok with it. But he didn’t bend that way, or so he’d thought. He didn’t feel attracted to men; he wasn’t at all interested. He’d dated more women than he could remember. 

Every rule had an exception, though, and Draco was his. 

The horrible truth was that Ron was fascinated by Draco. He had been attracted to him since Draco had joined the Order, but he didn’t dare to admit it. Draco was still a brat at the time, but suddenly he was a brat with soft blond hair and succulent pink lips that Ron was dying to feel and taste. He was a brat that made Ron’s heart beat faster at just one glance. 

Draco’s nasty personality seemed to have improved as well. Ron had lost count of how many times he saw Draco interacting amicably with his students. The blond was also very helpful to the other professors. That new side of Draco made Ron want him even more. How could he feel such a strong desire for his enemy? He had no idea. And the fact that Draco had begun to tease and flirt with him didn’t help when it came to figuring out his feelings. 

Draco’s kiss had messed up his ordinary life. The memory of that day was still fresh in his mind. He’d met Draco unexpectedly at a famous wizard pub in London, long before they both went to work at Hogwarts. Ron had tried his best to ignore him, but Draco had made his presence very hard to overlook. He had been enchanting that day. It was as if Ron had fallen under a love spell or at least a very strong lust potion. 

Draco had teased Ron all night by dancing sensually with different partners. It was as if he knew exactly what Ron felt for him. Draco seemed to know very well that every movement of his lips, hips, and eyes was enough to raise Ron’s libido. By the end of the night, Ron found himself trapped in a dark corner with Draco. And the next thing he knew, Draco had his body pressed on his, and he kissed Ron so sweetly Ron's body had almost melted into a puddle on the floor. Ron could still feel those soft lips on his if he pressed his own lips together. 

Ron promised himself that something like that would never happen again. He couldn’t possibly imagine that he would meet Draco again in Hogwarts. 

The feeling of encountering Draco every day was heaven and hell. Draco’s presence was annoying. Ron hated to look at him and remember the kiss. At the same time, he fantasised about the two of them together, and he liked it. In his dreams, Draco fit perfectly in his arms, and they kissed again just like the first time. In Ron's mind, their second kiss was as soft and light as the first one and just as good. That kiss now felt just like a gentle breeze. Yet, it still had the power to make Ron's body burn with the desire for more. 

Draco had always made Ron feel uptight and tense. Now, however, Draco also made him feel dizzy but alert, cold but hot. That was what bothered Ron the most: those unsettling feelings. 

Another thing that bothered Ron was that Draco hadn’t mentioned their kiss once since they had met each other again. Ron should have felt relieved, but he felt upset. The only thing Draco did was frequently stare at him with such a piercing look that Ron felt naked under that gaze. 

It was terrible, but nothing was worse than the stupid jokes and insinuation he had to put up with from Harry and Neville. They were convinced that Draco was constantly ogling Ron and following him around. Wherever Ron was, Draco was there, too. Even though he hadn’t noticed anything, Harry had told him that Draco used to watch Ron flying on the Quidditch Pitch almost every day.

Although Draco irritated him, the fact that he was regularly watching Ron was not only disturbing but also arousing. Not to mention that it did great things to Ron’s self-esteem. To know that he could have such power over Draco Malfoy made him feel good. 

He had told himself many times that he didn’t want anything to do with a Malfoy. He didn’t want to give in to that strong attraction that was crawling under his skin and taking over his being. It was wrong. It wasn’t because Draco was a man. It was because he was Draco Malfoy. 

How could he ignore Draco if he was never able to get over him?

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Harry had asked him once. 

Ron had glared at him with his I-wish-you-were-dead look. Like it was that easy. 

“Don’t look at me like that!” Harry had exclaimed with a half-smile on his face. “I know you want to. It’s written all over your face. You look like a famished dog in front of succulent meat every time you look at him. I see sparks of desire every time you are in the same room with Draco. The room heats up, I swear!”

“Spare me from your disgusting metaphors, Harry,” Ron had grumbled. 

“You could at least release your tension, you know? You’ve been very annoying lately; always nagging about everything. If you won’t use Draco to loosen up a little bit, you could do us all a favour and use your hand,” Harry had pointed out so matter-of-factly it took Ron completely by surprise.

Ron looked at him outraged, but then he frowned. Harry did have a point. Ron was becoming very moody. He was getting even worse than the old Snape, and that was saying a lot. Thanks to Harry, Snape’s mood wasn’t so bad anymore. Perhaps Ron did need to have sex. He was then struck with a brilliant idea. He should find himself a lover – and a female one.

That weekend, he went out with Fred and George to a club in Hogsmeade. He met a very interesting woman there. No matter how much he tried, though, he couldn’t get Draco out of his mind. He returned to Hogwarts in a very bad temper. If someone stopped him he would most likely jinx whoever it was. He wasn’t in the mood for talking. He just wanted to have a decent night of sleep and dream about a Draco-less world where he could finally smile and be happy again.

But destiny didn’t want him to forget Draco at all.

“By the look on your face, the night didn’t go as expected,” Draco said with his drawling voice. 

Ron counted to ten and then turned to face the main object of his problems. “I’m not in a good mood right now, Malfoy, so bugger off,” he warned with a hidden threat.

Draco smirked, and Ron’s blood heated up. “I was certain that you wouldn’t come back. You've made me lose to Potter… I bet you would spend the night out; he bet you would return in a worse mood than when you left. He was annoyingly right, as usual. But, well, it’s hard to beat Potter. It isn’t a bad thing, though. This time I feel glad that he was right and I was wrong.” Draco’s piercing gaze sent shivers down his spine. 

Something in Draco’s speech bothered Ron. He didn’t like the way Draco talked so fondly about Harry. Once, they had been sworn enemies. Now Draco and Harry acted as they had always been best friends. The world was certainly upside down. And suddenly Ron realised what he hated the most about Draco. It was his obsession with everything that had to do with Harry. At some point during the war, Ron had been convinced Draco was in love with Harry. That was one more reason for him to stay away from Draco. Ron didn’t want to be the second-best. He didn’t want to be a spare lover. He was tired of being under Harry’s shadow. 

What Ron didn’t realise was that he was being obtuse and that Draco had no interest in Harry. 

“What do you want, Malfoy?” Ron asked aggressively. “If you came here just to make fun of me…”

“No, I didn’t come here for that,” Draco interrupted him. “It was a coincidence that we met.”

“A very bad one,” Ron sneered.

“I wouldn’t say that. Actually, I have a message from Dumbledore. He said he would like to see you in his office tomorrow morning to discuss the possibility of holding an inter-schools Quidditch tournament. He said you suggested it. Nice going, Weasley. It’s a really good idea. You finally put your brain to work! You aren’t just a pretty face after all.” 

There he was, teasing Ron again. Another thing that made Ron really angry about Draco was the fact that the blond could act like a saint around everyone else, but a devil around Ron. It was like Draco had a double personality. It was just when he was with Ron that he showed his true nasty self. In front of Harry and the others, Draco acted like he was a decent human being. It was only with Ron that he went back to be the same spoiled brat he used to be. Ron would love to show what a phoney Draco really was. He would love to wipe that smirk off his doll-like face.

“Message received,” Ron said, turning around to be on his way. 

“Weasley,” Draco called.

“What?” Ron said without turning, holding his breath.

“Do you still think about that kiss?”

Ron flinched imperceptibly, or so he hoped. “Kiss? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know damn well what I’m talking about. You were drunk but not that drunk.”

Ron smirked. “You were drunk, not me. If you weren’t, I don’t think you would have kissed me.”

“You’re wrong,” Draco muttered in such a low voice that Ron didn’t hear him.

“Ok. Tell me the truth. What are you doing here? It’s three-thirty in the morning! Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“What are you? My father? I could have gone out just like you!”

Ron finally turned as a sudden thought occurred to him. “Are you plotting something evil? Is this why you wander around Hogwarts at this time of the night?”

Draco sighed in frustration. “You’re such a dense guy, Weasley. I swear I’ve never met anyone so stupid! Is that the best you can come up with? Why don’t you suggest that I’m following you? Why don’t you insinuate that I was in the same club as you were?”

Ron shook his head, surprised. “Were you?”

“What?”

“Were you at the club?”

“Of course not!” Draco exclaimed, outraged. 

“Then why the hell did you say that?” Ron asked, losing his temper. Draco just shrugged, and Ron grumbled, “Ok. I don’t care what you are doing here, or even if you’re plotting to take over the world, but I’m tired now so I’m going to bed.”

“Want some company?” Draco asked maliciously. 

Ron sneered. “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. If you know of any women who might be interested, please be kind and send them to my room.”

“Women, Weasley? Are you sure?” Draco leaned against the wall, his hands in his jeans’ pockets. “That was not the impression I had when we kissed.”

The mention of the kiss made Ron nervous. 

“You seemed to have enjoyed that kiss,” Draco suggested, ogling Ron.

A vein popped out in Ron’s forehead. “You didn’t mention the kiss once since we met again! Why now?”

“Ah! So you didn’t forget it!” 

“I never said I did.” He had said it, but he wouldn’t admit it. “In fact, I like to keep that disgusting memory with me to remind me of how much I despise you,” Ron hissed.

“You were always an awful liar, Weasley. Every time you lie you lick your lips and blink your eyes.”

“I do not!” Ron licked his lips nervously, and then closed them in a thin line when he noticed Draco was right.

And then Draco smiled. Ron had seen him smiling before, but never at him. Draco’s smile was enchanting. It made Ron lose himself. He noticed how casually Draco was dressed, and he gulped. The moonlight falling on Draco made his hair look like pure silver lighting. Draco looked ethereal and fairy-like. All that innocent appearance only hid a wicked heart. 

Draco walked towards him slowly like a predator hypnotising his prey before attacking. Ron’s feet seemed to be glued to the ground. If he was to be honest with himself, he didn’t really want to move. He wanted what Draco’s eyes were offering him; whatever it was. 

“You’re strangely quiet,” Draco said, amused.

That broke the spell a little, and Ron took a step back. Draco continued to advance until his delicate nose was almost touching Ron’s. Desperate for some space and air, Ron breathed in. Big mistake. Draco’s intoxicating scent went right to his lungs and filled them entirely. 

Draco’s pink lips were very close to his now. Ron had trouble breathing. Their lips touched very slowly, very softly, like a gentle breeze. Ron sighed, closing his eyes in anticipation. He had had a taste of that kiss before, and now he wanted more. He wanted Draco’s tongue, heat, scent. He wanted Draco all over him. 

“I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me for a change,” Draco whispered. “But what is a man to do? I’m making the first move again, but don’t think I’ll wait forever. Next time it’s your turn, and you better surprise me,” Draco said before kissing Ron. 

Draco’s speech got lost in Ron’s fuzzy mind. The redhead wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a Bludger and a Quaffle. After a breathtaking kiss like that, Ron wouldn’t even know what year it was. Draco’s eager tongue finally made its way into Ron’s mouth, and he moaned but kept his arms unmoved. 

“Still struggling, Weasley? You are such a twit,” muttered Draco against Ron’s half-opened mouth.

Ron licked his lips, his entire body shaken. “That’s because I don’t like you.” He was surprised to be able to form a coherent sentence. He also noticed he had licked his lips again. Draco knew that his struggle was a lie, but Ron didn’t want to surrender that easily. 

Draco kissed him even harder, and this time Ron couldn’t control himself anymore. His arms wrapped around Draco and pulled him closer. Ron returned the kiss with the same intensity. He wanted nothing more than to take Draco to his room. It was only a few steps further. His room was closer than Draco’s. But it was Draco who surprised him by pulling back and giving Ron his most spiteful smirk. 

“This is as far as I will go, Weasley. I’ll wait for your next move.”

“You are such a bastard! I’m all fired up! You might as well take this chance because the day I’ll touch and kiss you again will be the same day I’ll go into the lake naked to kiss the Giant Squid!”

Draco’s expression darkened. “You are the bastard, not me. I can’t believe I’m still trying…” 

“I don’t get you! You’ve never liked me; you were always making fun of me. You still do. You call everyone by their first names, but you still call me Weasley. You even call Harry by his first name, and you used to hate him. I don’t know what the hell you want from me, but I won’t be your toy. I won’t be someone you use just to forget about Harry.”

That took both Ron and Draco by surprise. 

“What are you talking about?” Draco asked with a frown. 

“You know very well. I’m not a replacement, Malfoy. Just remember that!”

Ron walked away quickly and slammed the door to his room, leaving a very astonished Draco behind. 

“Merlin! He’s more complicated than I thought!” Draco exclaimed before going back to his own room.

\---------------------------------

Stupid Weasley! He was such a twit! Draco still couldn’t believe he was after a Weasley. He couldn’t believe he had fallen for Ron in the first place. Ron was everything that Draco disliked in a man. He was dishevelled, his hair was too red and he had too many freckles. He was the opposite of a gentleman. He lost his temper for no reason. He hated Draco. On top of it all, he was a Weasley, a family that Draco’s father had classified as a disgrace of the wizarding world. 

Perhaps that was the reason why Draco was so attracted to Weasley. Ron was his opposite in everything. It was a fact that opposites attract. Also, being in love with a Weasley was a way to piss off Lucius. Draco would love to see the horrified expression on his father’s face after receiving Draco’s letter telling him that Draco was in a relationship with a Weasley. The fact that Ron wasn’t dating him yet was a mere technicality. Draco had faith in his own charms. Ron Weasley would surrender. It was only a matter of time. 

The problem with Weasley was that he was too dense. It was impossible for a human being to be so clueless. Draco didn’t believe Ron hadn’t noticed his eager silver-blue eyes upon him. He was only pretending not to notice Draco’s interest. 

And what was that about Harry? It was true that at some point Draco had had a crush on Harry, but that had not lasted long. Not when Weasley was around. When the redhead was around, he eclipsed everybody else. Weasley was tall and broad-shouldered. Watching Ron shirtless after a hard day of training Quidditch was mouth-watering. Draco only had eyes for him. He didn’t know why Ron had such power over him, but it was there nonetheless. It wasn't as if Draco would have a hard time finding a tall tasty man somewhere else. Perhaps opposites did attract. 

Draco was losing patience. Sure, Ron was tempting, and he tasted good. He was also the only one who made Draco’s heart beat like crazy. But even with all those good qualities, Ron wasn’t very bright. After all, he had yet to notice Draco pinning over him. Ron did have a good heart. He was sweet. He had a beautiful smile. But so what? Draco wouldn’t wait for him forever. Draco wasn’t the type to just sit and wait. 

Perhaps he should be a little more aggressive. It was obvious that Ron Weasley wouldn’t make a move at all.

Stupid Weasley… If only he wasn’t so bloody tempting. 

Draco was about to enter his office when he saw Kirk, one of the most brilliant students of Slytherin he had ever seen, waiting for him with his head down. The boy had his arms protectively around his fragile body, and he was shaking. 

“Kirk?” Draco called him gently. 

Kirk didn’t look up. Sighing, Draco caught the boy’s chin gently between his forefinger and his thumb and raised Kirk’s head. He bit his lower lip as he saw Kirk’s left eye swollen and purple. That had happened many times before. Draco knew how violent Kirk’s father was. It wasn’t the first time Kirk came to ask for his help. Perhaps it was because Kirk thought of Draco as his equal in a way. Their parents were vicious and cruel, but while Lucius Malfoy had played mind games with Draco and rarely made use of physical violence, Kirk’s father used his fists to educate his son.

Draco felt his anger rising. He wanted to go after Kirk’s father in Hogsmeade and curse him, but Kirk would never allow it. ‘He’s my father’ was Kirk’s standard excuse for his father’s cruel actions, and that was the cue for Draco to keep quiet about the matter and just treat his wounds. Draco understood. He had used that same excuse many times before. 

He quietly let the boy in his office, and he began to take a few ingredients from his bookshelf. He knew the drill very well. Let the boy in. Don’t talk too much. Make the bruises on his body disappear. Make him drink a potion to calm his nerves and have a dreamless sleep. Let him leave without a word. Draco hated that script, but what could he do?

“Kirk...” Draco wanted to say many things, but he didn’t know where to begin. 

Kirk didn’t look him in the eye. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk. But even so, Draco was willing to try to break into his shell this time and make him talk. Draco didn’t want Kirk to follow the same path as he once did.

“Let me talk to Dumbledore. At least let me teach your father a lesson!”

“No!” Kirk said, horrified. 

Draco sighed as he watched Kirk’s eye slowly coming back to normal. “Then let me do something to help you.”

“You already help me.”

“But not like this. I’m not helping you at all,” Draco said angrily. “I feel as if I’m enabling this situation. I can no longer do that. Please, understand my position. You’ve come here a lot lately. Every time you go to Hogsmeade, you come back like this.”

“I thought you would understand,” Kirk muttered, looking at the floor. “I thought…because of your father… I thought you wouldn’t mind.”

“I don’t mind taking care of you. But I can’t let your father do this to you anymore. And the reason for that is because of my father. He didn’t beat me, but he jinxed me many times. His favourite hobby was to break me psychologically. It’s because of those terrible memories that I can’t allow you to suffer anymore.”

Tears fell down Kirk’s face slowly, one after another. He cried silently, and it broke Draco’s heart. 

“Please, don’t do anything to my father. He’s all I have. I have nowhere else to go… I have no one…”

Draco gently put his hand on Kirk’s shoulder, and the boy winced slightly. Draco retrieved his hand and said, “You have me. You have Hogwarts.” Draco smiled. “We all have Hogwarts, I think. Hogwarts is the place we call our home more than anywhere else.”

Hogwarts had been Draco’s refuge when he regretted all of his sins and escaped from Voldemort. He felt safe there, and he knew he wasn’t the only one. 

“Let me help you,” Draco asked softly.

“KIRK!” someone shouted from the doorway.

Draco was stunned to see Dionysus, a Gryffindor student, entering his office without knocking or asking for his permission. Kirk seemed to be petrified by the sight of the Gryffindor boy. Draco was so outraged that he was out of words to shout. One thing he knew for sure. If that Gryffindor brat didn’t have a good excuse for intruding his office in such a way, he would take a hundred points from Gryffindor. The mere thought of that made him smile evilly. 

But Draco had another shock when Dionysus embraced Kirk tightly, without caring about Draco’s presence. It was as if Draco wasn’t in the room at all. 

“I was so worried,” Dionysus said.

“LET GO!” shouted Kirk, struggling to push Dionysus away without any success. 

Dionysus shook his head but loosened up his grip a little, enough to cup Kirk’s face in his hand so they could look into each other’s eyes. Kirk liked that inspection even less than the hug. 

“What are you doing here?” Kirk asked, trying to look away.

“I heard you were back from Hogsmeade, and that you weren’t well.”

“I’m just fine,” Kirk said with irritation.

“He hurt you again…” Dionysus said sadly, gently stroking Kirk’s cheek, and making the boy’s eyes water.

Draco stood there as if he was watching a play. Now that the first shock was gone, he didn’t seem to be bothered by the boy’s display but rather amused and curious. It wasn’t every day one could witness something like that. Draco had considered kicking Dionysus out of his office, but he saw love and determination in the boy’s eyes, so he decided to let him stay. He envied Kirk at that moment for being the object of such love. If only Ron looked at Draco like that once.

“I’ll make him pay!” Dionysus exclaimed with fury. 

Draco sympathised with him even more. He wasn’t so bad for a Gryffindor.

“No. You won’t do anything,” Kirk ordered, upset. “You have no right to meddle in my life.”

Dionysus’s face went red. “How many times do I have to tell you? I love you. You belong to me now, and I’ll take care of you.”

Kirk crossed his arms. “You’re an idiot.”

“No. You are.”

“I belong to no one!”

“Ok. So I belong to you. You shall do to me whatever you feel like. But don’t throw me away, because that would break my heart.”

Draco hid a smile behind his hand. Although the silly conversation was funny, it was also touching. In the past, Draco would curse anyone who told him stupid things like that. Pansy did try once, and only once. But if it had been Ron, things would be different now. To hear silly things from the one you loved felt great. 

“I’m getting old…” he muttered to himself, and then said to the boys, “Oi! You two! I can lend you my office for a few minutes, but don’t overdo it. And Kirk, you should give the brat a chance. He isn’t so bad for a Gryffindor. He has good grades; he comes from a respected family; he has money and he’s cute. I guess he is strong-minded, and he isn’t very polite – bursting into my office like that – but… Just don’t miss a chance to be with the one you love. You’ll understand when you grow older.”

Dionysus looked more stunned than Kirk, and Draco could imagine what he was thinking. Was that the same Professor Malfoy who took points from Gryffindors just for breathing in his class? It was, but Draco was also surprised by his actions. He was getting old. His heart had softened. He was glad none of his old classmates was there to see it. Neville and Harry would make fun of him for the rest of his life if they caught him being soft. He had a reputation to maintain.

“One more thing, Gryffindor boy,” Draco said to Dionysus. “Don’t tell this to anyone! And don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because of Kirk. And Kirk, you’re not alone. You have friends here. Just call for help and we will be there.”

Draco exited his own office to give the boys some privacy.

“Scary,” Dionysus said after a few seconds.

“Yeah,” Kirk muttered, not so sure of what to say.

“But he’s right. You should give me chance!” Dionysus said, his face brightening up. 

“Stop acting like this! You embarrassed me! Stupid Gryffindor!” Kirk exclaimed, kicking Dionysus’ shin.

“Ouch! You’re so mean…” Dionysus made a face. “But I still love you.”

“I told you to stop–” Kirk began, being interrupted by Dionysus’ kiss. He melted as usual when they kissed. Kirk might try to act cold and indifferent towards Dionysus, but it was only that – an act. 

“I was being serious, Kirk. I won’t let him hurt you again.”

Instead of being mad this time, Kirk smiled and gently stroked Dionysus's face. “I know. I… I like you.”

The Gryffindor boy grinned and hugged Kirk tightly. “Aww! You’re so cute when you smile.”

“Idiot! Let go!” Kirk exclaimed shyly, struggling to break free. 

\--------------------------

Ron was very angry at himself. He had finally realised the truth once and for all. He was in love. It was hard to admit it, but after that second kiss, he couldn’t deny reality anymore. Draco had changed over the years. He wasn’t just a Slytherin bastard. He had matured just like so many had after the war. Draco had helped them at a crucial time. He had spied for the Order. He had betrayed his own father. 

Draco was behaving more like a human being – even though when it came to Gryffindors, he was as unfair as Snape. But he treated his co-workers properly, and he was kind to his students – or at least most of them. Ron was the problem. Ron was in love with him, and that was a difficult thing to acknowledge and understand. 

He really believed Draco was in love with Harry, so he was jealous. He couldn’t even look at Harry these days. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t want Draco to like Harry. He wanted Draco to like only him. He wanted Draco to stop bullying him. He wanted to make love to Draco. He wanted Draco to call him by his first name. 

He wanted so many things. And because he was looking for some answers, he dropped by Draco’s office a day after their second kiss to clarify their relationship. Draco wanted him to take the next step. Ron wondered what step that was. If Draco wanted him, he would have to tell him. 

He was surprised to witness Draco taking care of Kirk – a Slytherin student that was very lonesome and shy. The boy had bruises on his face, and Ron’s suspicions about Kirk’s father turned out to be true. Ron just knew those wounds had been inflicted by that drunken man he had met a month ago. All the professors suspected the kind of treatment Kirk had at home. Now he knew for sure. 

He pitied the boy, but it was Draco’s tenderness and care that caught his attention the most. He had never seen Draco acting like that towards someone. The former Slytherin git resembled nothing of the kind man that was just a few steps away from him. Was that really Draco? Ron had never noticed how Draco’s voice could be so melodic and beautiful. It was at that moment he realised that he loved that contradictory man.

To hear Draco talking about Lucius Malfoy with such hatred was another shock to him. He had never really thought about how things used to work in the Malfoy family. He had always thought of Draco as a rich spoiled brat whose father carried out all his whims. He had no idea that Lucius Malfoy treated his own son like shit, like a thing to be possessed. 

But Ron’s thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Dionysus, a Seeker as good as Harry. Dionysus passed by him as if Ron was a ghost. He was touched by the way Dionysus hugged Kirk, and how much the boy seemed to love the Slytherin. Kirk reminded him of a little Severus Snape. Even though the boy was moody, he had soft eyes. And just like Snape, Kirk surrendered to the love of a Gryffindor.

The door was suddenly thrown wide open, and Draco came out. He seemed surprised to see Ron there. 

“Weasley?” Draco asked with a frown. 

Ron looked deeply into Draco’s eyes and didn’t dare say anything.

“Don’t tell this to anyone or I’ll break your face!” Draco threatened. 

“You mean about Kirk or about you?” Ron asked seriously. “If it’s about Kirk, I won’t say anything as long as you keep your promise to help him. I know we’re all pretending not to see what really goes on with him, but now you know for sure, and this knowledge makes you responsible for him.”

“You also know now,” Draco pointed out coldly.

“Yes, but I bet you would tell me to stay out of it. Wouldn’t you?” Draco made a face and nodded. “Besides, I think that the only Gryffindor help Kirk will accept is Dionysus’,” Ron said with a smile.

“Yeah, you got that right,” Draco said, looking at the two boys that were cuddling inside his office. He then turned to Ron. “What about me?”

“I’m not going to spoil your bad boy reputation by telling everyone that Draco Malfoy is actually a nice guy. I don’t think it matters, anyway. The female students think you’re a gift from heaven,” Ron sneered.

“What about you? What do you think of me?”

“I…”

“Because my opinion of you is not so good at the moment. You were eavesdropping on me!”

“I wasn’t!”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“You said you were waiting for my next move, right? So here I am.”

Ron’s heart felt as if it would come out of his mouth. There was a lump in his throat. He was nervous, but to his satisfaction, he noticed that Draco was anxious, too. Ron took Draco by the hand and led him to an empty classroom, closing the door. Their faces were very close, but neither had the courage to close that distance.

“Weasley…”

“Shut up and listen,” Ron ordered, his face turning red. “First of all, I want you to stop calling me Weasley. If you can call Harry by his first name, you can call me Ron. Second, I have a question for you. What are your feelings towards Harry?” Draco smirked, and that made Ron angry. “If you take this as a joke, I’ll walk out of this room and we’ll never have this conversation again. I’m being serious, Malfoy. If you can’t be, then…”

“Draco. My name is Draco,” Draco said, upset. “You also don’t call me by my first name, in case you haven’t noticed. I only call you Weasley because you call me Malfoy. I don’t feel comfortable calling you… Ron.”

It was the first time Draco said his first name. Ron had no idea it would sound so sexy. 

“As for Harry… I don’t hate him as I used to, although he still irritates me. But I consider him my friend.”

“What about me?”

“You’re not my friend, that’s for sure.”

“What am I to you?”

“So far you’re just annoying and stupid,” Draco confessed heatedly. “You pretend not to notice the way I look at you every day. You avoid me for no reason.”

“I have plenty of reasons!”

“I know you do, but in case you’ve forgotten, I asked for your forgiveness a long time ago. I apologised to you. I did my time, Weasley. I was locked in Azkaban, remember? Perhaps there weren’t Dementors there at the time, but it wasn’t pretty, I tell you. If you still hate me for the things I did…”

“I do,” Ron said quietly. He felt a pang in his heart as he heard Draco talking about his days in Azkaban. “But at the same time, I don’t. You drive me crazy. That’s the only thing I know for sure.”

“Is that what you’ve come here to tell me?” Draco sounded cold, but Ron saw his eyes flickering emotionally.

“NO! You didn’t answer my question at all! What am I to you? Do you still see me as the poor hand-me-down robes Weasley? Do you still look down on me like I’m scum? Because that’s the impression I still have. You still look at me like I’m not good enough.”

“Why do you care about my opinion?”

“Because… Dammit, Draco!” Ron ran his fingers through his hair. “Why don’t you answer me first?”

Draco smiled slightly, and Ron felt like his breath had been taken away. “You called me Draco.”

Ron just shrugged, but his hands were trembling. “Well, didn’t you complain about it before? I’m only doing what you asked me!”

“There’s a first time for everything, I guess. It’s the first time you’ve done something I asked. Hell will freeze over.”

Ron clutched his fist. “Since I was kind enough to call you Draco, why don’t you answer me then?”

“Kind enough, Weasley? Who do you think you are?” Draco asked, losing his patience.

It was always like that between them. There was always anger in the air, just waiting for the moment to strike them. 

“All right. You won’t tell me what you think of me. I accept that. But don’t ask me anything anymore! Don’t look at me; don’t send me those weird mixed-up signals; don’t even talk to me!”

Ron was ready to leave the room, but Draco leaned against the door to prevent him from getting out. 

“You’re a bloody coward!” Draco accused.

“No, you are!”

“Why can’t you just admit it?”

“Why can’t you?”

They stood face to face, neither wanting to break the eye contact. Suddenly, Draco burst out laughing under Ron’s outraged expression.

“What’s so funny?” Ron asked. 

Draco didn’t answer. He couldn’t stop laughing. He even leaned against Ron’s shoulder for support. Their lips brushed lightly, and Draco’s laughter died away. They wanted desperately to seal that almost kiss, but each was waiting for the other’s first move. It was Ron who decided to throw his caution out the window and close the short distance between their lips with an eager and passionate kiss. 

There it was again, that feeling of heaven and hell. Ron let the madness overtake him. He made Draco sit on the table and wrap his legs around his waist. Ron’s mouth travelled down Draco’s neck, making the blond moan softly. They kissed again, the world spinning around them. 

“Do you want to know what I was laughing about?” Draco whispered as they cuddled. 

“Yes,” Ron answered with his eyes closed, his head leaning on Draco’s shoulder.

“I was just thinking that we deserve each other. We’re both stubborn and blockheaded. We know what we feel and yet we don’t want to admit it. We’re both waiting for the other to say something first… So I thought it was funny.”

Ron raised his head to look at Draco. “So how do you feel?”

“How do you feel?” Draco threw back playfully.

“I won’t play the same game again,” Ron said with a sneer. 

“Why not? It’s funny!”

“It’s annoying.”

“Well, if you just admit that you like me a little…”

“Why don’t you admit it first?”

Draco sighed. “All right. Since you’re such a bloody coward, I’ll say it. I…”

“I’m not a coward! I’m not afraid of my feelings!”

Draco rolled his eyes. “You’re ruining the mood.”

“I’m not afraid to say that I love you! I can say it anytime I want!” 

Draco and Ron froze, and then Draco smiled. “Really?”

Ron flushed violently, and then licked his lips. “Maybe.”

Draco grinned. “You’re such a liar. I know you can’t resist me, Weasley.”

“Would you stop calling me that?”

“Ok.” Draco stroked Ron’s fiery-red hair and pulled him next to him. When their lips were almost touching, he said, “I love you, too, Ron. Will you be with me?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah, right.” Draco kissed him until Ron agreed with him. “Ah! I almost forgot! You’ll have to kiss the Giant Squid,” Draco said, grinning evilly. 

“No way!” 

“Watch your words next time!”

Ron made a face and then smiled. “You’ll drive me crazy, won’t you?”

“You bet,” Draco whispered with a sweet smile. 

THE END!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following the story this far!


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